Should I Try Anal?

[laurilynt]

My boyfriend has a really wide penis and he really wants to try anal. Im a little scared cuz Im afraid its going to hurt really bad like it did when we first started having vaginal sex. (I was a virgin before I met him). What do you think?

[ladylove]

I think only you can decide if you feel comfortable with it. If you need to wait for what ever reason, wait. Don't let someone talk you into anything your completely, ok with.

[mystofpric]

There are lots of ways for you to get comfortable with anal LONG before you try it with him, in fact these are a good way to get the skin and muscle used to having something incoming instead of out going. I say start with plugs and LOTS of lube. Start with teh smaller plugs and work your way up. Then when your comfortable with that move to vibes and dildos, again lots of lube (silicone if you can, depending on teh material of teh toy of course) and working your way up in size, an dthen when YOUR comfortable go for the big show. Also read Mikayla's articles on the subject, she's pretty much a genius, or just well inform either way, listen to her.

[ladylove]

There are lots of ways for you to get comfortable with anal LONG before you try it with him, in fact these are a good way to get the skin and muscle used to having something incoming instead of out going. I say start with plugs and LOTS of lube. Start with teh smaller plugs and work your way up. Then when your comfortable with that move to vibes and dildos, again lots of lube (silicone if you can, depending on teh material of teh toy of course) and working your way up in size, an dthen when YOUR comfortable go for the big show. Also read Mikayla's articles on the subject, she's pretty much a genius, or just well inform either way, listen to her.

Don't you think she should start even smaller, like a finger, when she's ready, if she ever gets ready?

[mystofpric]

Don't you think she should start even smaller, like a finger, when she's ready, if she ever gets ready?

hmmm, yeah. although I know i kinda find that my own hands are a little out of my comfort zone (don't ask, I'm just weird) But if she is comfortable with the idea, and simply scared of the size I'd get the Anal Starter Kit the vibe included in this is only 1/2 an inch wide, which is about the thickness of your thumb. Now i know I said start with teh plugs, but if you want something seperate from you but small, that's how i'd do.

It seems to me that at least one of her fears is his size, more than the act itself.

Either way hun, do what you feel comfortable doing, and if you do feel comfortable doing anything. Just remember when it comes to anal LUBE is your friend, don't rush or force anything, and relax above all else. If your tense it will cause your muscles to tighten up and make it harder to happen

plus doing it with toys, or fingers is something she can do alone with out any added pressures (not saying that he is pressuring her, more like preformence anxiety) of him watching.

[ladylove]

hmmm, yeah. although I know i kinda find that my own hands are a little out of my comfort zone (don't ask, I'm just weird) But if she is comfortable with the idea, and simply scared of the size I'd get the Anal Starter Kit the vibe included in this is only 1/2 an inch wide, which is about the thickness of your thumb. Now i know I said start with teh plugs, but if you want something seperate from you but small, that's how i'd do.

It seems to me that at least one of her fears is his size, more than the act itself.

Either way hun, do what you feel comfortable doing, and if you do feel comfortable doing anything. Just remember when it comes to anal LUBE is your friend, don't rush or force anything, and relax above all else. If your tense it will cause your muscles to tighten up and make it harder to happen

plus doing it with toys, or fingers is something she can do alone with out any added pressures (not saying that he is pressuring her, more like preformence anxiety) of him watching.

If she's highly aroused, her partner can give her a finger...... not much of a threat.

[mystofpric]

If she's highly aroused, her partner can give her a finger...... not much of a threat.

very true also.

[ladylove]

very true also.

glad you agree

[mystofpric]

glad you agree

HAHA I just laugh because my first attempt at anal was well before I knew this site exsisted. I was with the college beau who is a rather big boy (about the same specs as the big cherry) and he finally talked me into it and he lubed up, i assumed the postition and he went for it! Pretty much as soon as he made contact my poor little button hole said HELLLL NO!! Screamed it's pain and i ran away! He looked liek he was gonna cry, he thought he'd hurt me. Now i know that I have to work up to that, you can't just start at the finish line on this one! About a minute later I was all over it and we decided to just go about things the usual way.

[mailahn97]

I will say from my own experiences. I need to be very aroused for one in order for him to be able to penetrate me. I have the slim vibe which works very well for when you are alone. When you are together he can use his fingers or the vibe. I also have the anal starter kit which works very well also. Anal Starter Kit

The biggest keys are relaxing and lube. If you over think it or at least for me then it doesn't work. I need to relax and remember to breath. You can never have enough lube when dealing with anal. Also remember it may not work every time. I have some times where it is cake work, others we need to work at it a little and then other times where it just won't work. He also has to be patient and go at your pace. That is also key. I have found that if I work on breathing and also as he is entering me I push out some that helps as well.

Another way that helps me is having DP. The toy in my pussy is very good as a distraction in a sense so that my brain can't over work it. Even for alone time I like to use the slim vibe anally and a toy in my pussy to help me work on it as well.

I remember I used to be the girl saying no way I am NEVER doing that. Now we laugh as I LOVE it. Go figure.

[ladylove]

HAHA I just laugh because my first attempt at anal was well before I knew this site exsisted. I was with the college beau who is a rather big boy (about the same specs as the big cherry) and he finally talked me into it and he lubed up, i assumed the postition and he went for it! Pretty much as soon as he made contact my poor little button hole said HELLLL NO!! Screamed it's pain and i ran away! He looked liek he was gonna cry, he thought he'd hurt me. Now i know that I have to work up to that, you can't just start at the finish line on this one! About a minute later I was all over it and we decided to just go about things the usual way.

Well, I'm still working up to it; not there yet , but make no mistake I will be posting when I do. I'm sure my experience will be different form yours. I've read a lot on this site, asked questions, and everything...... I tend to do a lot of research on everything before hand. A gift and a burden

[laurilynt]

thanks for the help guys...just so its clear i am totally okay with it and am just worried about his size. Im actually kind of excited about it...i feel a tad bit weird being excited, but excited none the less. He is really excited as well. Hes a little odd, but i bought anal beads...is that an okay starting point? ( i bought them before i asked the question but havent used them yet...) thanks again for the help!

[Mikayla1]

You ladies have covered most of the bases, that is for sure! We have such smart posters here!

All I can suggest is being mentally and physically prepared - that means a conversation with your SO and the proper anal 'tools' - mainly, LUBE! Read my article on anal sex, as I feel it is pretty thorough, and look through anal avenue for more hints and pointers! Good luck, and remember to enjoy!

[mystofpric]

thanks for the help guys...just so its clear i am totally okay with it and am just worried about his size. Im actually kind of excited about it...i feel a tad bit weird being excited, but excited none the less. He is really excited as well. Hes a little odd, but i bought anal beads...is that an okay starting point? ( i bought them before i asked the question but havent used them yet...) thanks again for the help!

I thnk it's a great starting point! Just remember not to rush your comfort zones and go for it!

Lady, it wasn't a bad first experience just HIGHLY uninformed. COntrary to my usual behavior I did reseach post-anal attempt (DOH!!) He and i never tried it again, but some day the right penis (er, man) will come along and we'll get it right!

[Beavis]

LALA90 the 4 ladies that have replied on this have covered it all I would say. Now personally I would recommend this kit; http://shop.tootimid.com/ProductImages/sex...5400-04main.jpg It has helped me so greatly. It starts out small for newbies and you can work up to the large plug and hopefully the vibe. The #1 thing to remember is lube, lube and more lube. You can never have enough especially during anal. Once you have inserted you finger or plug pull it out and re-lube it. I know that might sound extreme but trust me I have experienced only one time lubing and not a good idea. I recommend lubing inserting and re-lubing about 3 times before you start to get to work. Read all of the anal articles and then slowly try it if you want to. Please just remember LUBE.

[elise]

thanks for the help guys...just so its clear i am totally okay with it and am just worried about his size. Im actually kind of excited about it...i feel a tad bit weird being excited, but excited none the less. He is really excited as well. Hes a little odd, but i bought anal beads...is that an okay starting point? ( i bought them before i asked the question but havent used them yet...) thanks again for the help!

The other ladies have covered this pretty well, so I won't repeat unnecessarily. But I would like to offer my personal assurance that with care, your anus will be able to take even a VERY large penis. My HB is 9 inches long and 8-1/2 inches around (almost 3 inches wide), and I can take every bit of him in my ass. Just take your time, use lots of foreplay and lube, and you'll get it in there. BTW, a big cock feels just as great in your ass as it does in your pussy, once you get the hang of it.

[laurilynt]

The other ladies have covered this pretty well, so I won't repeat unnecessarily. But I would like to offer my personal assurance that with care, your anus will be able to take even a VERY large penis. My HB is 9 inches long and 8-1/2 inches around (almost 3 inches wide), and I can take every bit of him in my ass. Just take your time, use lots of foreplay and lube, and you'll get it in there. BTW, a big cock feels just as great in your ass as it does in your pussy, once you get the hang of it.

Thanks That makes me feel a whole lot better...

Im so glad i found this site...!!!

[elise]

No problem!

Have fun, and afterward do come back and let us know how you and your boyfriend enjoyed it.

[laurilynt]

So we attempted it today and it didnt work...we couldnt fit his penis in me...I tried relaxing and everything, but we just couldnt do it...were going to try again soon...i hope it works next time.

[mystofpric]

So we attempted it today and it didnt work...we couldnt fit his penis in me...I tried relaxing and everything, but we just couldnt do it...were going to try again soon...i hope it works next time.

have you been working on this on your own, or even with him with toys and such? It really is something that you have to build to, remember those muscles are used to only working one way, and really that's what they are designed for: pushing things out. So you have to recondition them to allow things to come in.

[Tyger]

Hi!!

I'm sorry to read that it didn't go so well. But this is something that you really DO need to work your way up too, and 14 days isn't a lot of time at all, especially if your man is wide. You first posted 14 days ago and, though you're trying, you need more time, IMHO.

You may THINK you're relaxed, but your body is probably tensing up anyway. Use lots of lube, and use a toy at first. There are a few anal kits here, with progressively larger toys, so your body can adjust to the sensation. After all, the anus is use to pushing things OUT, not allowing things UP. It takes a lot of time, lube, and patience, but if you like the sensations, and really want to try, then keep at it. Slow but surely!

Good luck!

[bazil323]

I know 2 weeks sounds like plenty of time, and you may feel pretty comfortable with "stuff up there", but time and patience and practice really is the key. I had (still am really) a hard time getting into it. Although, I also had some trouble with it just feeling...wrong. But anyway, sometimes I'm not very patient, and we tried it without my doing anything to prepare. We watched an anal porn, and were really horny. We started vaginally and then switched to anal. That actually worked really well. I can't remember for sure, but I think I also had a toy in my pussy to distract me a bit.

Then about a week later, we tried it again without the porn or toys. We did take it slow, and we were able to completely finish anally, but I was a bit more sore afterwards.

Since then, we've tried a few more times, but I just get too tense. I really need to get some of the smaller plugs. I got one that said beginner, but it's really more of an intermediate size. I have to really relax to get it in.

I kinda relate it to running a marathon. If you are only used to walking, running a full marathon really can't be accomplished without a lot of effort and pain. But, if you slowly work at it for months or years with lots of training and stretching, you can then easily (or at least, with less effort) be able to go all the way.

[elise]

I agree with the other ladies. Some people just need a lot of practice before they can take a really large object anally. In my case, it took several years. I think we could've gone faster, now that I know what to do, but there was almost no information out there on how to perform anal sex when we started.

Several things will help get your anus in shape for your man's cock. First, try to include anal play every time you and your man have sex... combine his finger in your ass with clitoral and/or vaginal stimulation. Second, get some anal toys and use them when you masturbate. There are lots of good suggestions in here, but I recommend a slim insertable vibrator to start with because nothing relaxes your sphincter as quickly and as pleasurably as a vibe, in my experience. The main objective here is for your body to get used to having orgasms with something in your ass. The more orgasms you have with anal stimulation, the more you'll look forward to it.

Once you form that subconscious association, you're 90% of the way to being able to have anal intercourse. The last 10% is getting physically ready to take his wide cock. You'll want to stretch your anus so he can fit in you with no pain, and for that there is no substitute for a set of anal plugs ranging in size from small to large. Start with the small, then work your way up to large. Again, the more turned-on you are, the easier it'll be to put something really big in there. Once you get the plug in, leave it in for a while. If my HB and I haven't had anal sex for a while and I've got the urge, I'll wear a plug around the house for a few hours to make sure I'll be stretched and ready for him that night. And wearing a plug for a while can be a really good way to heat up a solo session, too.

[12GAUGE]

I think only you can decide if you feel comfortable with it. If you need to wait for what ever reason, wait. Don't let someone talk you into anything your completely, ok with.

Start slow. But (no pun intended) read Mikaylas' writings on this subject with your lover and go from there. Mikayla is a smart cookie and well versed in this regard.

[EMO]

I have to ask, is it okay to take it from ass to pussy? Just wondering, haven't really tried the anal thing yet, but would like to. I have stuck his head in, and that is as far as I went, but even that felt great. What I am really asking is if I try it in the ass and don't get very far, is it okay for me to finish vaginal?