Members Shariana Posted April 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 To make a very long story as short as possible.... I was at a dance competition over the weekend. The guy (who I thought was a friend) I was dancing with for some of the time essentially called me fat, gave me a hard time for refusing to sleep in the same bed as him, and pressed himself against me when I told him I wasn't comfortable doing some of the more intimate dances with him. (I have self esteem issues as it is, don't need to be called fat. I know I am a bit. Don't need you to tell me. >.<)Then he got to "correcting" my mistakes (he's danced for less time than I have.... and I KNOW my damn tango, thank you very much)....He would ram me into couples as we were dancing, purposefully block them from moving, and swear if we messed up (all in front of the judges).THEN he got to cursing at me if I didn't catch his lead into steps, shaking me by the shoulders, grabbing my arm forcefully, and crushing my hand as he led me on and off the dance floor.I broke down after a point and the situation is going to the university group in charge of club sports. He will probably be off the team.What on EARTH makes it seem even remotely ok for someone to do this?Guys: I will personally kick your ass if you do this to a woman.Ladies: DON'T TOLERATE IT, EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS! All I could think through this is that thank GOD I wasn't dating this jackass! If he ever gets a girlfriend she will be black and blue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members panab Posted April 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 My sister tells me about these types of guys all the time. What I don't get is why you just don't call them on it? Just stop dancing with him and tell him; "Hey you little insecure fucker, your mother might tolerate this bullshit from you but I sure as hell won't. Now start acting like a real person or get the hell out of my face!"You can sprinkle on more or remove some of the swearing to fit the situation, but it will definitely get the job done. Most of the time guys that are "assholes" just are super insecure and will retreat if you just call them on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DADT Posted April 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 To make a very long story as short as possible.... I was at a dance competition over the weekend. The guy (who I thought was a friend) I was dancing with for some of the time essentially called me fat, gave me a hard time for refusing to sleep in the same bed as him, and pressed himself against me when I told him I wasn't comfortable doing some of the more intimate dances with him. (I have self esteem issues as it is, don't need to be called fat. I know I am a bit. Don't need you to tell me. >.<)Then he got to "correcting" my mistakes (he's danced for less time than I have.... and I KNOW my damn tango, thank you very much)....He would ram me into couples as we were dancing, purposefully block them from moving, and swear if we messed up (all in front of the judges).THEN he got to cursing at me if I didn't catch his lead into steps, shaking me by the shoulders, grabbing my arm forcefully, and crushing my hand as he led me on and off the dance floor.I broke down after a point and the situation is going to the university group in charge of club sports. He will probably be off the team.What on EARTH makes it seem even remotely ok for someone to do this?Guys: I will personally kick your ass if you do this to a woman.Ladies: DON'T TOLERATE IT, EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS! All I could think through this is that thank GOD I wasn't dating this jackass! If he ever gets a girlfriend she will be black and blue!You can say everything you need to by just walking off the dance floor the minute such a comments is made. No drama. Just a calm "I can't dance with you. You make me uncomfortable. I'm leaving." You've kept your dignity, and you've stopped the abuse right when it started. Works for dating too. If you "flip out" you give the guy the excuse to say "That bitch is a psycho." Don't give him the satisfaction. Plus you with absorb the upset which will leave a psychic scar. If you keep your cool and quietly extract yourself from the situation, he will be the one wondering "What just happened?" And you walk away with your pride & self-esteem intact, and most likely a strong sense of self-satisfaction that you didn't let a creep get to you. Make sense?Why do some guys do this? Probably learned it from their Dads or older brothers. And because they tend to find girls who will let them. So girls stop these guys in their tracks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted April 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 You can say everything you need to by just walking off the dance floor the minute such a comments is made. No drama. Just a calm "I can't dance with you. You make me uncomfortable. I'm leaving." You've kept your dignity, and you've stopped the abuse right when it started. Works for dating too. If you "flip out" you give the guy the excuse to say "That bitch is a psycho." Don't give him the satisfaction. Plus you with absorb the upset which will leave a psychic scar. If you keep your cool and quietly extract yourself from the situation, he will be the one wondering "What just happened?" And you walk away with your pride & self-esteem intact, and most likely a strong sense of self-satisfaction that you didn't let a creep get to you. Make sense?Why do some guys do this? Probably learned it from their Dads or older brothers. And because they tend to find girls who will let them. So girls stop these guys in their tracks.I agree w/ DADT. Even better don't say a word, smile and walk away! ...and yeah What a DICK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 Right on DT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shariana Posted April 29, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2009 I ignored his jackass comments (this was before we were dancing) because I was used to them from my previous relationships. After an incident in swing when he stood in the MIDDLE OF ANOTHER COUPLE I decided to no longer dance with him.Finished the swing, hit him on the chest, cussed him out and he went and cancelled my registration.Luckily everyone on the team saw him being a jerk to others, so I was found to be in the right.I am an enabler. I make excuses for people even when I know I shouldn't. Maybe this will teach me for next time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members garry Posted April 30, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 That guy is a dick . I would never treat any woman that way!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted May 29, 2009 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 My sister tells me about these types of guys all the time. What I don't get is why you just don't call them on it? Just stop dancing with him and tell him; "Hey you little insecure fucker, your mother might tolerate this bullshit from you but I sure as hell won't. Now start acting like a real person or get the hell out of my face!"You can sprinkle on more or remove some of the swearing to fit the situation, but it will definitely get the job done. Most of the time guys that are "assholes" just are super insecure and will retreat if you just call them on it. WHAT HE SAID...I concur 110%. Or if you know 3 good sized guy friends who might owe you a favor to beat the living crap out of this puke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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