Newbie xxrevenge666xx Posted July 18, 2009 Newbie Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 Alright, so I've been reading through a lot of the threads on this page and tips on how to enjoy giving your boyfriend/husband a blowjob. They're all very, very good points but I just can't bring myself to do it.It's not because I don't want to, because I really enjoy pleasing guys and making them feel good. But even thinking about going down on them makes me feel sick to my stomach and it scares me, honestly. It feels like I'm going to have a panic attack or something. I have no idea why, because I've never had any bad experiences with it in the past (mostly due to me never having given head before). There's just like this block that keeps me from doing it.Does anyone else struggle with this fear? I feel really bad, like I'm a failure sexually. :[ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crossroads123 Posted July 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 You are NOT a sexual failure!!!!!!!!!!!! Speaking as a man, who has never given a bj, but received many the only advise I can give is just take the plunge. There is no such thing as a bad blow job!!!!!!! Your boyfriend will be able to help you by telling how and what to do. I thing as long as you want to please your man you will find a way, it's those woman who just absolutely refuse to do it that never give a blow job. In the words of a famous American "just put your lips together and blow." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members junior88 Posted July 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 As a man I have never given one to specifically comment, but like chuck have received many. My suggestion and thought is that it seems like you may be assuming that if you give him a bj, he is going to cum in your mouth. If you trust your boyfriend and that is where your concern lies, you really have nothing to worry about (unless your bf goes off really easily). Many times a bj for me is just one step in a sexual encounter and certainly is not the end. I would suggest trying it once for a little bit, see what he likes, and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 Alright, so I've been reading through a lot of the threads on this page and tips on how to enjoy giving your boyfriend/husband a blowjob. They're all very, very good points but I just can't bring myself to do it.It's not because I don't want to, because I really enjoy pleasing guys and making them feel good. But even thinking about going down on them makes me feel sick to my stomach and it scares me, honestly. It feels like I'm going to have a panic attack or something. I have no idea why, because I've never had any bad experiences with it in the past (mostly due to me never having given head before). There's just like this block that keeps me from doing it.Does anyone else struggle with this fear? I feel really bad, like I'm a failure sexually. :[What your going through may be from what you were taught as a kid. I had a hard time, not to your extent but hard enough I needed to figure out how to get over it. Baby steps. Do you like to touch your SO's penis? If not this is where to start. Work up your courage from there. If you don't have a problem touching him, and it's only the mouth on his penis part, start small. Kiss him, when you feel good with that, then move on. It may take you a long time, don't get discouraged, you'll get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie xxrevenge666xx Posted July 18, 2009 Author Newbie Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 What your going through may be from what you were taught as a kid. I had a hard time, not to your extent but hard enough I needed to figure out how to get over it. Baby steps. Do you like to touch your SO's penis? If not this is where to start. Work up your courage from there. If you don't have a problem touching him, and it's only the mouth on his penis part, start small. Kiss him, when you feel good with that, then move on. It may take you a long time, don't get discouraged, you'll get there.I don't have any problems with touching his penis at all, thankfully, or I'd be even worse off. But I'm just really turned off to the idea of putting a penis in my mouth, and I don't know why. :[ Just something about it bothers me. He notices it too and he's tried all sorts of different things to make the experience a little easier for me to handle (i.e. showering before sex, shaving his pubic hair, or flavored gels to help with the taste factor) but nothing is really working. I guess I'm just really scared of doing something wrong, like hurting him or even worse, throwing up thanks to my extremely weak gag reflex :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stockingsandheels Posted July 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 theirs no such thing as a "bad blow job" trust me its all good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 theirs no such thing as a "bad blow job" trust me its all good.First, I would disagree, there are BAD blowjobs....OK, let me ask, how old are you? You sound (through writing) to be fairly young. This is not an uncommon feeling for women to have when they are first starting oral sex. Some women jump right in, no problem; others overanalyze, worry, become afraid they will gag, think it is gross. I think, to me, it sounds like you are afraid to do it because of what it is: putting a man's penis in your mouth.Let me ask you, do you enjoy receiving oral sex? If so, then think of it this way, for a man to go down on you, there are many more 'bodily fluids' and scents down there then there is on a penis. If you have your man take a nice shower or wash up before hand, it should be all good.There is an art to giving head - and it is important to give and receive oral sex in a relationship. I think the fact that you are here, asking about it, is a good sign that you want to learn more about it.First, it is not gross. It is a very intimate way to pleasure a man. It is something that men LOVE. You are in control of a man when you have his cock in your mouth. It is a great power to have. Second, if the man is patient, he will wait for you to work up to it. I suggest try just licking around a bit. Get acquainted to it. Lick it, use your hands more than your mouth. Then, work up to sucking on it.Third, don't be afraid. There is probably only one major no-no when it comes to sucking cock: DON"T BITE! Relax and enjoy it. It can be a very, very exciting and erotic experience for a woman.Fourth, don't overthink it. Just go for it. As already mentioned, just take the plunge. It won't be as bad as you think.Good luck!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted July 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 First, I would disagree, there are BAD blowjobs....LOL I agree I have heard some scary stories!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted July 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 never had a bad bj.now I have had some better than other but never had a bad one.and I have had quite a few.everyone had his likes and dislikes as far as bj's go.and everyone is different as far as actually giving a bj.just as long as there is no serious biting....lay back relax and enjoy!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whitefang2002 Posted July 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 i am not sure if they work but i think they have something called "deep throat mints" thats suppossed to numb your gag reflex.When you start out...like others said...you dont' need to got right for deep throating...just do a little licking. run your tounge on the nerve on the underside of the penis....u can jsut start there and u don't have to go right for the urethra area if that what your worried of when you say "gross". just take it slow and ENJOY it. dont be nervous cuz he will love the fact that ur down there in the first place. he isn't going to be judging u..he just wants to kick back and feel ur tounge, hands, and mouth on his member.just some last words: ENJOY.RELAX.TAKE UR TIME. u dont' need to cram it down ur throat the first time u go down on him! and when u go down on him...think of his dick as yummy and not gross. and just think how much u want to please him. I hope u take the plunge and lick away! keep us posted. best of luck! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SensualWoman Posted July 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 One thing that helped me in the begining was doing it under the covers in the dark with no lights, then I didn't see "it" so it was easier to do it. You don't even really have to put it in your mouth all the way, just lick the sensitive part on the underside of the head, and you can get him off that way with a little hand action. Best of luck!!! You will get it in time! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberlin Posted May 29, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 i had a bad experience with a bj, and havnt brought myself to do it with my bf again. i want to please him and make him happy, but i dont want a repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hyokahey Posted May 29, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 Don't stop. (to quote the Rolling Stones)Really, keep on giving oral attention despite not being hard. Guys lose their erections sometimes, and it does not mean that we are not interested or turned off.These kinds of events are not failures, so don't get all embarrassed or anxious about it...that just makes things more difficult.The other issue can be that some folks have a difficult time in receiving, or 'being done'. A sudden drop in arousal is usually an indication of an emotional 'disconnect' during your activities. Just stop and take a few moment to emotionally reconnect...What a wonderful experience it would be to be soft and sucked to hardness, then to orgasm! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberlin Posted May 29, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 thanks! i never thought that he may not want to "be done". something i might try and work on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ginshreve Posted May 29, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 29, 2010 There is probably only one major no-no when it comes to sucking cock: DON"T BITE! Oddly enough, Mikayla, I am dating a man who loves, LOVES the feel of my teeth around his penis when I am going down on him. When I am taking him as deeply as I can (which is not all that deeply on him as he is huge) and I gently close my teeth around the middle of the shaft and open and close my teeth slowly as I pull up to the head, he quivers and groans and it seems to be a very positive reaction (not fear, LOL). I can actually feel him swell in my mouth when I do this.I don't know how I thought to try this; I am SURE I have spent years of giving bjs carefully avoiding any penis to teeth touches. Maybe it was because he is just so dern big and meaty that it made me want to test it with my teeth, I honestly don't know.... maybe it was because he responded so well to the little nibbles up and down the shaft (aka the corn-on-the-cob move).I agree with you that it is probably a no-no for most men, and should only be attempted with caution especially at first, but I'm really glad that it occurred to me to try this. I guess I knew he would like it the same way he intuited that I would like my neck bitten...Another suggestion which men seem to love: angle your mouth so that the head of the penis rubs against the roof of your mouth, where the ridges are... by the responses I get from this, it must feel mighty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members heygdjkm Posted May 30, 2010 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 I have been married 20 + years and up until this year oral didn't happen on my part. I agree that I think I was just scared or freaked out by it and yes the way you are brought up is part too. Close your eyes or in the dark works, try 69 at first that way you are both busy and your mind is on you being pleased as well as him, it seems to take the pressure off. As for the gag reflex, I'm pretty sure it has happned to everyone at first so you gag, it's to be expected! Go slow when you start to gag back off a bit. Honestly, after a few times you should be loving it, I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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