elise

No problem! Have fun, and afterward do come back and let us know how you and your boyfriend enjoyed it.

The other ladies have covered this pretty well, so I won't repeat unnecessarily. But I would like to offer my personal assurance that with care, your anus will be able to take even a VERY large penis. My HB is 9 inches long and 8-1/2 inches around (almost 3 inches wide), and I can take every bit of him in my ass. Just take your time, use lots of foreplay and lube, and you'll get it in there. BTW, a big cock feels just as great in your ass as it does in your pussy, once you get the hang of it.

Yes, anal plugs can be used outside of the bedroom, but as others have pointed out, they have a tendency to fall out. You have to pick the right shape, and wear the right clothing. The best kind for wearing have a relatively thin anal shaft and a larger rectal part. A small plug will NOT stay in unless you put on a pair of tight jeans to hold it up there, so if you're into tight jeans, give it a try. I prefer a larger plug, though. I have one that stays in really well, so I can wear it around the house under a skirt and it rarely falls out. If I wear a buttplug outside the house, I wear a tight leather thong for insurance, and I don't do much walking around, LOL! It's hard to wear one for more than an hour or two, I find it gets a bit uncomfortable. That can be fun, too, though, if we're doing a DOM/sub role-play... like spanking or tight bondage, it's a way for my HB to push me past my limits, which always leads to mind-blowing sex. We use buttplugs as a form of foreplay, sometimes. It turns my HB on when I ask him to put a plug in my ass to get me ready for later, and it definitely turns me on to feel it in me. If we go out for a drink in the evening, we might use a small plug and tight jeans (safest), and the whole time we're out in public, chatting with friends, etc, we're both acutely aware of it being inside me, and that by the time we get back home I'm really going to be ready for the real thing. Sometimes it's hard to wait to get all our clothes off, LOL! Or like last weekend my HB and I made plans to have a sex party in the afternoon. He went out to attend to some errands, and while I prepared snacks and dressed up the bedroom, I dressed up for sex in my lingerie, lubed my buttplug and put it up there, threw on a dress, and by the time my HB got home a couple of hours later, I was as hot and bothered as I could be. Needless to say, our sex party was a rousing success!

Yes, hard thrusting in the ass can be VERY good for a woman, depending. Congratulations on having tried and enjoyed anal sex, BTW!!! As I've posted before, it can take some time for a woman to really get into anal sex. One of the things that really worked to get me into it was that my HB was very careful and gentle, and I trusted him not to hurt me. But the other thing was that he made a point of making sure that I had an orgasm every time we put his cock in my ass. We started by using a vibrator on my clit while he moved his cock slowly in my ass. (The slow moving was good for me, because there was no way I could take hard thrusting at first... and also, it helped him control his excitement, so he didn't come before I did). Anyway, the first time it took about 15 minutes for me to get there, but I finally had a huge orgasm. When I came, he started pumping faster, and he quickly came too. That was our pattern for anal sex for a long time. But over time I came to enjoy the feeling of anal penetration a lot more, and after a while I would put the vibe down and come from just the feeling of his cock moving inside me, a lot like a vaginal orgasm, but different. Pure anal orgasms are incredibly good. I really enjoy hard thrusting in my ass now sometimes, but to be honest, he usually starts with slow deep thrusts until I reach my first orgasm, and then he picks up the pace. Keep trying. Don't be surprised if in a few months you are as addicted to deep, hard anal fucking as we are!

Your man probably said "I dunno" because he hasn't had time to process it. You need to plant some seeds in his mind, get him thinking about it. For example, you might show him a photo from lingerie or costume catalog... say, a really sexy french maid outfit, and then ask him would he like to be the rich man with this hot little number there to serve him? This is where costumes can help you take the lead. Men are visual. Give him a strong visual image to spin his fantasies around, and you'll probably be surprised at how quickly he gets into it.

I'm curious if anyone else uses role-play games in their sexual repertoire. I minored in Drama in college, and did a lot of improv. My hb and I learned early on we can make our sex life a lot hotter by playing different roles... it's almost like having sex with someone else without actually cheating, and really spices up the variety of our fucking. I love dressing up for sex, and sometimes costume really inspires the role-play. For example, I have a really sweet white lace corset that my hb says makes me look 'virginal'. So when I wear it to bed, we play a game where I'm a young virgin bride on her wedding night, and he's an older and very experienced man who answers all my innocent questions about sex, then gently (but not TOO gently ) takes my virginity. In another game we've played a few times, I get dressed up in period lingerie and stockings and shoes while my hb puts on a strappy leather harness; I play the role of a noblewoman who uses her peasant man to satisfy her sexual needs. He is bound to a chair, and I tease him and ride him as I please, but delay his gratification until he's almost crazy to come. Of course, role play is a natural for bondage scenes... the whole master-slave thing, or force fantasies. No woman in her right mind wants to really be raped, but there's no question that pretending to be ravished is hothothot. The variations are endless. One game we've played again and again is one where I'm a rich single woman who desires a child, and he's a professional inseminator I've hired to get me pregnant (won't happen, of course, as I've been 'fixed'). Lots of fun with this one, as it's a multi-day game that 'forces' us to have sex two or more times a day for as long as we can keep it up (four days in a row is our record... I could hardly walk for a week after that one!). One of the fun things about a more elaborate role-play game like this one is we can stay in character outside of the bedroom, even going out to dinner while playing the roles. It can be fascinating, creating a persona on the fly over two or more days while having hot sex with a virtual 'stranger'. Sooo... anybody else got some role-play sex game experience or ideas?

Our bread-and-butter position is The Deck Chair... I'm on my back with my legs spread and lifted, and he kneels between my legs. Advantages: very deep penetration, and allows very powerful thrusting. Lots of visual stimulation for both of us, and his hands have access to my breasts, hips, waist. Variations on this one: 1) he holds my ankles and lifts them high and wide (OMG deep!), 2) he holds my waist with both hands and forces my thighs apart with his elbows, then 'jackhammers' me (full-length in-and-out thrusting, very fast and very hard... I have screaming orgasms with this one!), 3) I put my feet on his shoulders and he penetrates me anally (our favorite anal position). Second-favorite: Liberator wedge on the bed or floor, I lie face down with it under my hips, spread my legs very wide and hb takes me from behind. Advantages: very deep penetration (which you probably have guessed I love) very easy on my back, even with prolonged thrusting. Variations: 1) butt plug in my ass for a really hot DP experience; 2) bondage variant, wrists bound behind my back or locked in the Liberator cuffs and a gag in my mouth (very hot... I can scream as loud as I like and not worry about waking the neighbors). Third-favorite: Straight- Bendover Doggie. Two ways: me standing facing the bed (we have a high four-poster that's the perfect height) and stretched out across it, hb takes me from behind; alternately, I stand behind and bend over the back of the armchair of his study, bracing my hands on the chair's arms. In either position I have to wear minimum 4" heels to get my hips up high enough for him (he's tall), and stand with my legs straight and pressed together. Advantages: a great quickie position (don't need to undress, just lift my skirt, unzip his fly, and fuck. Variations: 1) wonderful bondage position (tied at the ankles, knees, wrists and elbows); 2) hb pulls my hair to arch my neck and back (huge turn-on for me).

Quite right. We've covered this many times. But I'd like to address the size issue you mentioned. I am blessed to have man with a large penis--not just long but really thick--and I love taking every last millimeter of him up my ass. I had had anal sex with a previous boyfriend who was quite small, and it was no big deal for me. Not much discomfort, but no real pleasure, either. The first time I had sex with my now-hb, the thought that occurred to me was that there was no way that big piece of man-meat would ever fit in my ass. We tried early on, it hurt like hell, and we didn't even attempt it until years later. The key thing is to train your anus gradually. A finger in your ass while your bf licks you to orgasm is a great way to start. Work up to two fingers, then maybe a butt plug or a vibrator. In our experience, we knew I was ready for his cock when I had an orgasm from cunnilingus with three of his fingers in my ass. Size isn't everything, but it does matter, and if like me you've learned to love your man's big cock during vaginal sex, when you get to the point of having anal sex you'll love his size there, too.

I have that one, too, and it's great. I wouldn't recommend it to a beginner, necessarily. An anal newbie can get a lot of fun out of the Julie Ashton's Anal Beginner Kit: http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...amp;ProdID=3195 I like the large plug from this set for DP when my hb fucks me from behind. It feels like I'm getting pounded by two cocks.

I LOVE that too!!! I used to wear my hair in a french braid quite a lot, and my hb would dig his fingers into the braid at the back of my head and pull... my entire scalp would start to tingle and I'd have an explosive orgasm that literally went from my scalp to my toes. Now I wear my hair shorter and can't braid it, but the pulling things definitely works for me. I'm not into having his hands around my throat, but love wearing a choker or even a leather collar when we fuck. It feels very sensual, and yes, I do think it plays into the force fantasy thing. When we have role-play sex, the force fantasy is one we often do. Very hot!

I don't think you need to obsess about this. My husband and I have been having regular anal sex for years, and sometimes I still have difficulty with it. I can't say exactly why, but sometimes it's just not comfortable. So we do something else in that session, and when we come back to anal in a week or two, it's great. When he reallyreallyreally wants to fuck me in my ass and I'm not as hot for it, we make insertion easier by using a vibrator on my clit while he's penetrating me and he inserts very, very slowly. The combination of cock in my ass and vibe on my clit is simply overwhelming. That seems to get me past the discomfort and I always really enjoy it. One other thing: you may want to try a different type of lube. Really thin/runny lubes will work sometimes, but a thicker lube like vaseline or Doc Johnson's anal lube seems to work better for me. You can't use vaseline with latex, and some people claim there are health issues with it, but it worked fine for us for years. Doc Johnson's is our mainstay now, though.

Well, from another RN... I'd have to say I respectfully disagree. I know from working in the colonoscopy room that the transverse colon is 60 to 70 centimeters from the anus, or more than 24 inches. In other words, there's not a toy on this site or a (human) penis that will reach that far. My husband is 9 inches, and I've had a 12" toy all the way up, without pain... and I've seen a video of a girl taking an 18" jelly dildo all the way, too. I think the key is for the initial penetration to be slow and steady, allowing the internal organs to accommodate the intrusion. Actually, the most difficult part for me is about 4 or 5 inches in, which I believe is where the rectum bends into the sigmoid colon. This will straighten out if we give it a few minutes, and then (in my experience, anyway) there seems to be no limit on how deeply I can be penetrated. And VERY deep penetration feels simply wonderful. If I'm having trouble getting past the bend, we switch to spooning on our left sides.. this helps straighten the bend out. Once I've got the full length of him in me we can switch back to whatever position we want .

You'll probably be pleasantly surprised at his reaction if you whisper breathily in his year, "I want your finger up my ass..." , or say it out loud in your sexiest, huskiest voice while he's licking your pussy. You'll get your wish!

I think we covered this elsewhere, but I don't mind repeating myself. The first sexy thing about wearing corsets is that since we almost always have sex when I wear one, the simple act of putting it on, fastening the garters to my stockings, etc, becomes early foreplay in my mind. And if it's a lace-up corset, then my hb has to help me, which heightens the sexual tension! The second sexy thing is that I love being held by my waist, and having a corset cinch my waist duplicates this sensation. But the sensation of tightness around my torso is really hot in itself. It evokes the same sort of pleasure that being tied up creates, except I'm free to move around. I love going out with a corset under my dress and feeling the constant pressure of it on my body because it's a constant reminder that at the end of the evening we will fuck each other's brains out. And yes, the fact that a corset covers much of your body makes the edges all that more sensitive to the touch... especially the tops of the breasts, the lower belly, the inner thighs. Also, if you're into it, a really rigid corset (the kind with a steel busk sewn inside the front and heavier material, the sort used for waist-reduction or tight-lacing) virtually immobilizes your torso. This means that when you have sex, you really can't move your hips at all, which means you're at the mercy of your man's thrusting for your pleasure. Combining this with ropes and a gag produces the ultimate submissive experience for me, and explosive orgasms.

I haven't worn pantihose in years. My man turned me on to the sensuality of stockings early in our relationship. I wear basic black & beige mostly, white in summer. I absolutely looooove silk stockings, especially in bed... they're heavier and more durable than nylon, although stockingirl.com has some new retro-style fitted nylons that are simply gorgeous.

You need to have a colorectal surgeon take a look. There are a lot of people with chronic anal tears, and most of them haven't had anal sex, in case you wondered. There is a relatively simple surgical procedure to fix this called a Z-plasty. I don't know exactly what it is, but it fixes the problem. Ask your doctor for a referral on this one, honey.

Yes, well girth is exactly the problem... but it's also what leads to the payoff! My man is blessed with a lot of girth, and I wouldn't want it any other way! It's sensible to gradually work up to bigger objects over time. Try using anal toys on your own when you masturbate... it'll help you figure out how to respond without having the distraction of a partner, so when you and your man do get down & dirty, you'll be better prepared. Having a set of small-medium-to-large buttplugs helps, as you can gradually increase the girth of the toys--even in a single session, if you like--and they stay in place really well while your (or his) hands (or mouth, or cock) are busy in other pleasure areas. Also, there's a few techniques that can help you accommodate your man's cock more easily. First, lots of lube on the outside doesn't necessarily mean there's enough lube inside your anus and rectum. Try filling a contraceptive foam or similar applicator with Astroglide and applying that inside your ass, you'll be surprised by how much more easily his cock can slide all the way up inside you. Also, when you feel his cock starting to stretch your anus, take a deep breath and bear down, as if you're trying to have a bowel movement (you won't). This causes the anal sphincter and pelvic floor to relax, so being stretched by all that girth will be much easier.

Being monogamous for a long time, we've not used condoms for years.. but we did use them a fair bit in the past, and when we switched locations from front to back door, the condoms usually stayed in place. Lambskin condoms feel most natural, and work well with every lube we've tried, including petroleum jelly. Astroglide is our favorite anal lube, though, and works with any condom, latex or natural.

I haven't visited this site for months.. too busy with work and life, I guess.. but this is one that we've discussed in the past and perhaps needs to be covered again. Short answer: yes, you can learn to come from anal stimulation alone. Longer answer: Some people seem to have the knack right away, others seem to 'grow' into it. In my case, I had orgasms from combined anal/clitoral stimulation for a long time before I had my first 'pure' anal orgasm. I think perhaps discomfort (physical as well as psychological) plays into it, but on the other hand, even after having had lots and lots of anal sex for years and years, anal intercourse can still be quite uncomfortable for me at times... yet I still come my brains out every time! One key element for me, I think, was that I was/am very vaginally orgasmic. I think the other key for me in our early anal experiences was that my hb always made sure I came while his cock was still in my ass.. usually before he came, but sometimes after (I've always been extremely turned on by his orgasms, so that helped sometimes), using one vibrator or another. I became conditioned to the idea that every time we fucked in my ass I would come, usually several times. Eventually I found that the pleasure of anal penetration & thrusting was so good that I didn't need a vibe to get off any more. We still use vibrators with anal sex, and I sometimes come with them on, but I really prefer now to come just from the stimulation of my man moving in my ass. Pure anal orgasms are longer, slower, more well-rounded and satisfying than when clitoral stimulation is used. So my advice is don't worry about how you're coming during anal sex, just enjoy the orgasms for what they are and if you find someday down the road your responsiveness changes to allow purely anal orgasms

Oops! I didn't mean to spoil the fun! My hb says I must be punished...

The sheets got ruined one time when we tried some sensation play: I was bound and blindfolded, and my b/f rubbed various liquids on me like honey and olive oil and other condiments. The stains from blackberry jelly just wouldn't wash out. The sheets were old and ready for the dumpster in any case, which is why we used those sheets for that particular session. As for medical play, it's been pretty mild stuff. Enema & douche play, "playing doctor", and so on. We once had the key to a doctor friend's clinic (my hb was fixing his computer system over a weekend), so we got to play out one of my fantasies, which was having sex on an examination table with my feet up in the high stirrups. The reality didn't quite measure up to the fantasy, but it was fun anyway!

I absolutely LOVED this movie the first time I saw it, and still do! Maggie Gylenhall and James Spader are HOT as a DOM/sub couple who take a while to figure each other out. The penultimate scene, where Maggie sits in his office chair in her ex-fiance's mom's wedding dress peeing herself in order to obey her DOM is so hot I can hardly stand it! The (very short) scene after that where she is bound to a tree in order to consummate the marriage makes my knees weak. But the best scene by far is the final one... where she drops a dead cockroach on their bed as he leaves the house to go to work. The smile on her face makes it apparent that she knows that the sub is the one who is REALLY in control...

Quite right. There are some things that beginners can do, and others that require a lot of experience. I am very much the sexual sub in our relationship, although that doesn't necessarily translate into other areas of our life. Ahem. Most of our sex is not BDSM per se, but there is no question that my husband is in charge of what happens in our bed. Which is to say that whatever he says goes, until I tell him otherwise (the secret of being a good sub!) Our BDSM play has been pretty 'vanilla', I guess, when I look at your list. Most of the advanced stuff you've mentioned... well, we've tried it, but it hasn't stayed in the reportoire. I am almost always the tied one, when we play. We do not use a safeword or signal. Yes, that has resulted in my being forced to go way, way, WAY beyond what I felt I was ready to do in the beginning of an encounter, but I also implicitly trust my man to not do me any lasting harm, and as a result his DOM-ness has taken me to places of extreme pleasure I could never have gone otherwise. We do role-play/force-fantasy play more than anything else, really. I hate to say we've got into a rut, because we haven't, but dammit, some things just WORK! We've done some fairly extreme sensation play in the past (as in had to throw out the bedsheets), but most of our play in that area now uses more subtle things... feathers, Altoid mints, ice cubes, and the like. Insertion and medical play, likewise, have been a lot of fun in the past, but we don't get into that as much any more.

I'm sorry I didn't reply to you earlier. Summer was VERY busy at our house. I can't remember how corsets came into my life, exactly. I think my boyfriend-now-husband had some girlie magazines with women dressed in corsets, which we both thought were hot. In any event, we bought a corset (really just a merrywidow, no lacing), and immediately took it to bed with us and had HOT sex. I was fitted for my wedding dress in another corset, partly because it did such wonders for my figure, but also because I knew it wouldn't be coming off until we had consummated our marriage on our wedding night... which kept me hot and bothered all through my wedding day, which is the way a girl should feel on her wedding day, in my opinion! I love the feel of a tight corset any time, but I really appreciate the way corsets enhance my assets. Corsets seem to me to illustrate the ultimate in feminine couture. A corset cinches your waist, which makes your breasts and hips seem larger. Frankly, I like the hourglass-shape that corsets give me. I am not hugely busty (36B) but a well-cinched overbust corset and a low-cut blouse make me look like Mae West, or the St. Pauli beer girl, as my husband likes to say. I also like cupped corsets, because they do a better job of supporting and showing off my breasts than almost any underwire bra will do. I like the fact that lacing into a corset allows me to fit into a size 6 dress instead of a size 8. Having sex in a corset is a huge turn-on for both my husband and me. He is very visual, and corsets are lavishly visual garments. There are a lot of sensual benefits of wearing one, too. For example, it's always been a huge turn-on for me to have my partner hold my waist tightly while he's fucking me. When I wear a corset, I get that sensation the entire time and his hands can be elsewhere doing other things. Also, a very tight corset makes it harder to breathe deeply, which makes me breathe faster during sex, which enhances the whole experience and especially orgasms. Finally, in my tightest corsets, which come down quite low on my hips and have a steel busk down the front, it's virtually impossible for me to move my hips during sex, which means I'm completely dependent on my husband's thrusting for my pleasure, and this provides a deeper level of sexual submission which is highly erotic and deeply satisfying when the orgasms finally do hit home.

Another technique that might help her anal spasms resolve would be to bear down as if trying to have a bowel movement. This causes a reflexive relaxation of the anal sphincter. When I first started having purely anal orgasms from anal sex alone (i.e., no clitoral or vaginal stimulation, just my husband thrusting in my ass) I would get spasms after we were done. Bearing down would ease the spasm quickly.