thurisas

I think your wife doesn't fully understand the power of the blow job. As it is right now she seems to think that oral for you isn't as important as oral for her. She needs to remember that sex is supposed to be fun for both of you and as such there should be much give and take. It's supposed to be fun for you to pleasure each other. When your cock is in her mouth, she has more control over the pleasure you receive than her pussy will ever be able to deliver. Somehow, you need to make her understand that. On those occasions when you do get oral whether it be 69 or whatnot, what are you doing to show her all of that control she has? Do you talk to her and let her know when something feels great? Have you ever asked her "Oh My!! What did you just do?!" as your total body shivered uncontrollably? Chances are when you give her oral, she's squirming and moaning, or giving you a thousand signals that you are doing things right, what are you doing to show her she is doing right as well? Thurisas.

Welcome. I have to say I envy your strength. Make sure to contribute often and always feel free to ask your questions. Thurisas.

Welcome and make sure to contribute often, ask questions, and answer when you can. Thurisas.

Welcome to the fold. Make sure to ask lots of questions, read the sex education articles(click on the sex education tab under the Too Timid banner at the top of this page), and make sure to use the search feature on the forums as many of the questions you might think up have been answered many times already. I'm sure we all look forward to your contributions as well, remember that something that works well for you could be the idea or solution someone else has been missing all their sexual lives. We all teach, we all learn. Thurisas.

It is normal to have fantasies. Very normal. The question is how close do you want to get to fulfilling it? Where you've both said that this will just be a fantasy, you can move on to other avenues. DP with your husband and a toy while using a little imagination can be one way to fulfill the fantasy if that is what you want. I don't know how to stop the fantasy, but if its thinking about his brother that is bugging you, you said you don't care for him all that much anyway...focusing on the things you dislike about him would be one way to take care of that. Keep in mind, also, that in the end the fulfilling of a fantasy very rarely stands up well to the expectations you have made. Thurisas.

The first thing you really should try to do, in my opinion, is start chatting with him in the line. I have a bit of anxiety when it comes to talking to people I don't know, but within the first couple of scentences it usually melts away(Once I've figured out that person isn't going to laugh at me for talking). Start probing him for things you suspect you might have in common and make sure you smile. You can listen as you're getting up to his line what he talks about with others to do this. If you find something that you have common ground on (even food) then you can make a casual comment such as 'Oh, you like Pizza too? I know this pizzaria called Al's Pizza that has the best pizza with some of the most original toppings I've ever had.' If he responds to that then you can try to bolster up your courage to asking him out for a lunch date or some such thing. Or you can be playful 'I'll tell you where it is, but you'll have to take me.' or 'I'll tell you where it is but you'll owe me a slice.' You can also spell out "will you go out with me" with your groceries on the conveyor. Cheezy, I know. Ultimately though, you have to talk to him, and you have to become comfortable talking to him. I'm sure others will come along and give more advice soon. Thurisas.

I agree with what Howard has said, but a couple of things popped out at me in your original post. The big one is you say he thought you cheated on him. That seems to be a trust issue in a very big way. If he doesn't trust you, the relationship is going nowhere as it is until you get that problem rectified. The other thing is his casual sex comment. Did you ever clarify what casual sex meant to him? Is it a one night stand? Is it sex outside of marriage? Is it sex that doesn't involve creating a baby? Religion has mucked up a fairly natural and lovely act to being evil and dirty in many people's minds. Where does he stand on this? Thurisas.

While I have no experience in threesomes, I think at this point all of my alarms would be going off in my head. The real question is why is he talking about your sex life at all with his ex? What does he miss about her that he wants to bring to your bedroom? Based off your information so far, this seems pretty disrespectful and I can't believe he would even consider asking about this let alone her emailing you. I do have to say, though, that some people are into this sort of thing. If you decide to do it, and it is your decision, make sure you take the advice of others who have posted here. There must be ground rules for what will happen during and AFTER your play. Where he already has a history with this person, you're not going to be likely to have her out of your life afterward and you have to decide if you can live with that. You also have to decide if you can reign in your imagination after the fact and reign in the wondering you will do as well. I wish I could help with this, but ultimately it is your decision. Personally, I'd be having a long heart to heart with him about his current relationship with his ex. Thurisas.

My suggestion is this. When your boyfriend tells you he thinks you're pretty, sexy, beautiful, hot, whatever...try to tell yourself 'Yeah I am' even if you don't believe it yourself at that moment. With a little luck and perseverence, you'll start believing yourself and chances are there's a good reason to. The more you start envisioning yourself through the eyes of your boyfriend, the more confident you will become. Do yourself a favor and wear your 'feel good' outfits that you think you look good in. Figure out what makes you feel good in those outfits, and see what you can do about getting more that will do the same. This is a way of empowering yourself to feel better about yourself. The more you do these things, the better you'll feel. I wish I could offer a quick fix, but when its your mind that gets in the way, the reprogramming takes time. I'm sure others will chime in shortly. Thurisas.

Its always great to hear that this site is helping people. Congratulations on your revived sex life, and bravo for working through your troubles. Welcome, contribute often, and have fun. Thurisas.

If you have a marketable asset, and you market it carefully, intelligently, and with the public health in mind, then yes I think prostitution should be legal. I also think it should be highly regulated (can you imagine the House and Senate Committees on Legalized Prostitution? Every politician would give his left nut to be on that one, I'm sure. And imagine the lobbyists and their bribes...I mean gifts...anyway, I digress.) Anyway, I think legalization would be a good thing but I must say that with legalization, those people who don't visit prostitutes only because it is illegal will start doing so, the increase in business will bring an increase in risk for transmitting STDs, and the rules would have to be extremely stringent. Thurisas.

For me, this only works when my wife says it and it absolutely has everything to do with the way its said. Oddly enough its the Barbara Streisand line "Hello Gorgeous". When my wife says that line with that accent, I'm fairly quick to get hard. Sorry Barbara, you've got nothing on my wife. Thurisas.

Let me start this out by saying that I have never climaxed from oral sex. It feels very good, I'm almost always on the cusp of release, but it never happens whether it be 15 minutes, an hour, three hours or whatnot. Let me tell you, it has absolutely nothing to do with what my wife is or isn't doing down there and I'd be mortified to know that it was taking a toll on her self esteem. So much so, in fact, that I think it would put more pressure on the act and thus making it less likely to happen, period. So I guess my question is, how much are you showing your husband your frustration? You could be putting the pressure on him and making him less likely to release. One thing I would like to add is that porn is not necessarily a good teaching device. Those people are actors and there is nothing of what you see happening off camera...like the male actors beating off in between takes. Also, there are a lot of bad practices shown in porn and you really need to be careful. The biggest thing you need to do is just have fun trying to make it happen. Practice, practice, practice, and just have fun with the whole thing. When/if it finally happens, you'll both have something to smile about and I'd be willing to bet dollars to dingos that it will be easier the time after. Thurisas.

Its just an expression I've been using for...well...forever. "The whole shebang." Tyger, I would think you must have heard me use it at least a few times back in High School. Thurisas.

Is your husband in a religion that views sex as bad? Was he brought up in a very religious family where sex was thought of as a bad thing? I can't imagine not wanting to explore my own wife's body fully and completely. This is a hump that your husband has to get over. You might want to direct him to this site so that he can see that many many people know sex, foreplay, and the human body is a great thing to explore. On the other hand, what have you done for foreplay? Do you play ALL day long, dropping little hints and inuendos? Are you working him up to the event? Also, how are you showing him where your hot spots are? If you have to, masturbate for him and give a little exposition. I don't know about your husband, but if my wife were showing me exactly what to do to make her squirm and scream in pleasure I would be paying attention, taking notes, and doing my best to try it out. Ultimately, though, communication is your key. You have to let him know how you feel. The whole shebang. How you feel about sex, how you want to feel during sex, and how you want him to feel. As has been suggested in the past by other posters, this should be done on neutral ground and you should be setting up rules for the conversation that will enable you to get it all out in the open. I'm sure if you look back through the posts you can find the ground rules which I think have been posted a dozen times or so by Howard. Good luck to you and your husband, I am sure others from the forum will be along to give their own opinions and advice. Thurisas.

Welcome, have fun, enjoy the site. Thurisas.

If you look back through the forums, you will see that you are not alone and you will find oodles of advice and information. One thing you might want to do is to click on the 'sex education' tab at the top of this page just uner the TooTimid banner. Mikayla has done articles on mismatched sex drives and I am sure you can find some helpful information there. Thurisas.

You're probably not crazy, its natural to be curious, and smart to be educated. Welcome to the site and remember we're all teachers as well as students. Thurisas.

Welcome and don't forget to visit, read, and contribute often. Thurisas.

I use my dry hand. I have very smooth, dry hands that tend to glide over my member nicely without the use of lube. As far as visual assistants or toys go? A magazine, a website, but mostly its just my imagination which is very very vivid. Thurisas.

We're into very light bondage. My answer of being dom doesn't quite feel right having said that, but I do like to be the one in control of giving the pleasure (not so much into pain though my wife does like to be spanked). The thing is, I could honestly go for...well...forever just pleasing her as that is one of the best ways for me to get off. Thurisas.

I love my wife completely shaved. In fact, she's the one who got me shaving as well. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm one of those lucky people who can just shave with a razor and no cream so I'm able to do it standing in the shower. With a fresh razor head (I use a mach 3) everything down there gets very smooth. With a razor head that's been used a few times, it takes a few swipes to get the same thing. As far as the hair around the anus goes, I shaved myself down there for the first time not too long ago. If you aren't very coordinated when you can't see your hands, I wouldn't recommend shaving. I personally had no trouble by squatting, spreading with one hand, shaving with the other, and going very slow and thinking carefully about the directing the razor was facing in relation to how I was moving it. It wasn't a problem at all. Thurisas.

Welcome to the site. Happy Up and coming anniversary. My wife and I will celebrate our own on the 16th this month, this will be our 8th. Like krazikris said, make sure you put your input down here too!! We all have much to teach and we all have much to learn. Thurisas.

Hmm... Out in the woods behind an old girlfriend's house, in the lake out in front of my old house, by a river in Quincy near Boston(Officer knocked on the window two minutes after we finished on that one), by a sem-secluded pond in a tent, and the side porch. Thurisas.

This is my own personal belief. Personally, I'm somewhat baffled by the thought of intellectual property. I understand that people want to make money off of the things they have thought up but the idea that no other person who comes to the same conclusions on their own couldn't wrap it up and market it better than some guy half a world away just doesn't seem right. I don't believe anything should have a copyright until you have a very tangible product before you. In this case it is the software that was already packaged and being sold that was in copyright, which is fine in my eyes. It reminds me, however, of the stupidity of the two inmates who decided to copyright their names and tried to sue the warden for using them in documents. The whole thing has really gotten out of hand. Now that its really going into the virtual worlds it is just more foolishness. Of course, in this case, real money is involved so people are more likely to pitch a fit when something doesn't go their way. Thurisas.