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Safe Words


thurisas

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LMAO I love the squirt bottle idea....like a bad puppy!! NO!! *squirt squirt*

As far as "being raped", well, when you're engaging in bondage play, this is with a lover you uber-TRUST. Hopefully, all your lovers you trust, since you're sharing your body with them. Bondage takes a deeper kind of trust. One that says that the DOM will absolutely STOP when the safe word is uttered. If not, the play doesn't happen again, cuz the SUB NEEEEEEDS to feel a high level of trust to allow this to happen.

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Reading all of these replies has made me curious, too. But I understand the need for trust and that can take a long time to build to a level where you are secure doing this. I think I'll hold off and just keep reading the replies..they are really kind of stimulating! ;)

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We decided on popsicle. We're not heavily into this area of play, just some tie up fun. And yes you have to have trust in your partner. It's foremost.

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Penguin. =)

The sad thing is I've yet to have teh secks, but I already know I'm into bondage and I chose my safeword about a year ago for when I need it. xDDDD

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  • 2 months later...
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My safe word has always been Daisy .... I know I have a flower thing. But normally I am in situations that call for hand signals.

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"No means no!!"

Actually, it doesn't, in bondage play.

Bondage, and sex in bondage, can only work if you absolutely trust your partner. It works both ways. The concept of a safeword or signal is introduced so the sub can play the role of resistance to the hilt. In bondage, "no" means YES!!! The thrill of playing out a force fantasy (I like that term better than 'rape' fantasy) is in no small part the DOM forcing his will on his partner, and the sub resisting, struggling against the DOM and her bonds, the protesting that she doesn't want it.

We have always used the same safeword: my HB's name. For whatever reason we've never used each other's names in our sex life, except when something is wrong. It gets each other's attention immediately, we stop, we correct the problem, and we move on.

In our bondage sex, I am almost always gagged (I absolutely love being gagged), so obviously a safeword doesn't work. We use the same safe-signal as Tyger... I extend my middle fingers (if he can see my hands, depends on what position we're using) or I hum "shave and a haircut... two bits".

The beauty of it is I haven't had to use our safeword or signal in years.

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"No means no!!"

Actually, it doesn't, in bondage play.

Bondage, and sex in bondage, can only work if you absolutely trust your partner. It works both ways. The concept of a safeword or signal is introduced so the sub can play the role of resistance to the hilt. In bondage, "no" means YES!!! The thrill of playing out a force fantasy (I like that term better than 'rape' fantasy) is in no small part the DOM forcing his will on his partner, and the sub resisting, struggling against the DOM and her bonds, the protesting that she doesn't want it.

I don't think I've ever said no during play.. I'm enjoying myself too much. lol

I'm pretty lucky with my boyfriend knowing my sounds. Like my "This hurts stop" ow and my "Oh shit keep going" ow. Overall there really isn't a time where he's stopped because of pain unless my period is being expected.

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My SO and I just decided on pumpernickel the other day so we are allll set for a night of light bondage when I get to see him next! xD

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Lol, I haven't actually tried bondage yet, though I do want to. I've mentioned it to hubby, but the time never really feels right. So, we haven't decided on anything yet.

I did have to add that this is one thing I didn't learn from TT. I learned it from the Kushiel series by Jacqueline Carey. Fantastic, btw.

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Lol, I haven't actually tried bondage yet, though I do want to. I've mentioned it to hubby, but the time never really feels right. So, we haven't decided on anything yet.

I did have to add that this is one thing I didn't learn from TT. I learned it from the Kushiel series by Jacqueline Carey. Fantastic, btw.

Oh a fellow fan!!! I love her books, she's writing again ya know!

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I have been involved in the D's lifestyle for over 8 years now.Not really interested in it full time,but I do like my play sessions.I will NOT inter into a play session without a safe word or jesture.That is for her protection!If and when that word is used all play stops immediately.Then we discuss why she felt she had to use her safe word.

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What do you do if they don't listen to the safe word?

That's really not that difficult: YOU DUMP THE GUY! NO does NOT MEAN NO in bondage, but the safe word does. ALWAYS AND EVERYTIME!

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Oh a fellow fan!!! I love her books, she's writing again ya know!

I absolutely love Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series. I hope she comes out with some more books soon. Addictive reading ;)

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