Minor Fault = A Kick To The Curb

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My wife and I went on a rare "date" recently; found a kid sitter for the little ones and went out to a new restaurant in town. We had to stop at a store first, and when getting back in the car, I unlocked my wife's door and held it open for her. Then she just sat there, and didn't reach over to unlock my door.

(Most of my cars have always been the manual locks, crank-windows variety.)

After I got in, I said, "It's a good thing we're married, 'cause if we were just dating, I'd kick you to the curb for that."

We laughed, but back in the dating days, it would irk me if a date just sat there like a princess and didn't even give a thought to unlocking my side of the car. It only happend with a couple of girls, but it became a pet peeve anyway.

Anyway, I thought it might be amusing to see what others here had in the way of small-potatoes things that if their date did or didn't do, it would earn the date a quick "Hasta la vista, Baby" and a boot in the butt.

[synirr]

Paying for my meal/movie/whatever without offering first. Offering is polite and appreciated if we haven't already had the "I hate people paying for me" talk, but I will always turn it down, because well... I hate people paying for me! Making the offer is polite, doing it without asking is presumptuous.

[mailahn97]

I have had the who is paying battle. My other half is very old fashioned in that respect and feels that the man should pay for everything. Well before we went out on our first date we had chatted a little about this. I told him I would let him pay for dinner but I would pay for the movie...he finally relinquished or so I thought. Then when we got to the movies he handed me tickets he bought them ahead of time to avoid the argument. So I got one up on him. The next time we went out to dinner I excused myself to go to the ladies room and I found the waiter and asked him when he brought the check out to hand it directly to me and not to let him get it. He did exactly that. So when it happened my significant other asked me what that was about. I said that was for what he did at the movies.

From then on her realized I am very independent and like to treat as well. He was telling me how he was dating one woman who totally took advantage of him paying for things. I am not like that. I just feel it is only fair. The relationship is 50/50 so should the expenses be the same way. He has his moments about this but he has gotten a lot better about it.

[Mikayla1]

I have a few pet-peeves that would have caused the guy to loose my attention instantly:

(1) Lighting up a cigarette without asking me if it is OK. I had a few guys whom I dated who smoked (I do not) and if they lit up in the car without asking me first, that told me that they didn't care about MY preference. IF they had asked, I would always say yes.

(2) Coming to get me drunk or drinking before the date. (Yes, loosers like that do exist!)

(3) Being 'chauvenistic' - you know, 'it is nice you are in college, but if we ever got married things would change' - bye, bye asshole!

(4) Gropers. Sitting in the car, chatting, and they begin to grope you before the first kiss. (yes, had those guys too). I left a guy at a theater in the middle of a movie for that!

[synirr]

(1) Lighting up a cigarette without asking me if it is OK. I had a few guys whom I dated who smoked (I do not) and if they lit up in the car without asking me first, that told me that they didn't care about MY preference. IF they had asked, I would always say yes.

Oh I HATE that. Luckily it has never happened to me with dates, but a couple of friends have done it before. I consider myself lucky not to have any experience with the other things you listed!

[pappyld04]

I must say that my major pisser is a date that only wants to talk about their X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tyger]

OMG!! Pappy! That's another one I forgot!!

[pappyld04]

I had one date where she asked me to take her by a house that she thought he may be at. My easygoing ass took directions from her until we got close and then I knew exactly where she was leading me. MY X-GF'S BROTHERS HOUSE!!!!

[shawnalee]

It seems like so long ago that I actually dated a guy, but I remember having a big crush on this guy in high school who had beautiful blonde curly hair. He was in theatre with me and I found his confidence and personality to be attractive. So he came over to my house for a first "date" and I'm pretty sure the only two things he said the whole time was hi and bye. He just stared at me the whole time and would just give me wierd looks when I'd ask him a question. I think he even drooled a little bit. Turned out to be a wierdo. I was told a few years out of school that he had spent a couple years in a mental hospital.

[Sailor Girl]

My first crush was a senior I was a freshman. He tried to hide me from is parents and things, so i knew that was headed nowhere. I'm not disabled, don't treat me like i'm different. If you do, treat me like I have a vagina, you have a cock, you know what i'm saying? sorry for any images that brings up, but I hate people pitying me. So my latest man and I went to a hotel. Our car or his anyway was outside and my door was frozen shut. He galantly opens it, shuts it, and goes to open his. His exact quote "Get out please, I need to kick my door open." Lol, what a gentleman. Maybe I did deserve to get a handful of butt! lol.

[Tyger]

My first crush was a senior I was a freshman. He tried to hide me from is parents and things, so i knew that was headed nowhere. I'm not disabled, don't treat me like i'm different. If you do, treat me like I have a vagina, you have a cock, you know what i'm saying? sorry for any images that brings up, but I hate people pitying me. So my latest man and I went to a hotel. Our car or his anyway was outside and my door was frozen shut. He galantly opens it, shuts it, and goes to open his. His exact quote "Get out please, I need to kick my door open." Lol, what a gentleman. Maybe I did deserve to get a handful of butt! lol.

Too funny!! I think men that are humorous in semi stressful situations are wonderful!! LMAO

[synirr]

I feel a little embarrassed when people pay for me... doesn't matter if I have a vagina or a penis, I can still pay for my own meals. Sometimes it's ok and I can tell he's just trying to be nice and treat me (which is fine, as long as he's not opposed to me treating him sometimes too... I like to do that as well!) but more often than not, in my experience, guys have just been trying to show off when they pay for things for me. I don't care if you have money or not, and I don't appreciate a show-off either.

[pappyld04]

I've always figured that the one who asked the person out was responsible for the bill.

[mailahn97]

My SO is getting better with this. He wants to pay for everything and I won't let him. I told him it isn't fair that he pays for everything all of the time. I work just like he and would like to pay and treat him as well it is only fair.

[pappyld04]

I truely don't understand that...For me it is being gentlemanly, it has absolutely nothing to do with showing off. Whatever blows yer skirt up I guess!

I can see poontang's point on this matter. And it is not about showing off. It took a long time for me to change that view. I was raised to think a man should pay also but with this women's lib we do have girls asking guys out on dates. That used to be a rare occurence!

[Radagast97]

I feel a little embarrassed when people pay for me... doesn't matter if I have a vagina or a penis, I can still pay for my own meals. Sometimes it's ok and I can tell he's just trying to be nice and treat me (which is fine, as long as he's not opposed to me treating him sometimes too... I like to do that as well!) but more often than not, in my experience, guys have just been trying to show off when they pay for things for me. I don't care if you have money or not, and I don't appreciate a show-off either.

I grew up being taught the guy always pays, so it's a hard thing to get past, though I understand how you wouldn't like it.

I've paid and had women pay, but it's still feels very uncomfortable not to pay. The last woman I dated and I would switch off, alternating who paid. OK, the last person I dated aside from my wife. I always pay when we're out on a date, lol.

Glenn

[triedntru]

If a guy talked shit on people walking down the street or whereever we are. Just shows how small he views himself!

I think whoever asked for the date should pay, I'm kinda old fashioned in the sense that the guy should ask out...hey, I married young and was brought up that way!!! But now, I see nothing wrong with the woman asking the man out, and she should at least have the money and be willing to pay

[Noahsmommy87]

I have to admit Hanging up on me, OMG that pisses me off beyond belief. I honestly did dump a guy or two b/c of that reason! And you know what till recently any arguement between my husband and I he'd just hang up (he didn't start this till we were engaged about to be married). For me all that does it put fuel to the fire. But thankfully I laid the law down and he doesn't do it anymore....

[pappyld04]

DLM, that is a major pisser in my book also. My gf's had called her boss one day because of a mechanical problem with our truck. He called her a liar. When she told me about this I went right to the phone and called him back. I asked him if he had a problem with her inability to get there immediately and he said NO and hung up on me. Now I was about to tell him that she was only going to be late because I would have the truck running again shortly but I sent him a message with her that if he EVER talked to her like that or hung up on me again I would yank him across the counter and drag him outside and roll his face in the gravel. Maybe not a recommended course of action for myself but I got his attention.

[Guest eminatic]

hmmm im not sure for myself, because i have never really been on a real date, and never even really talked to more than one guy

but i once slapped a guy in the face and he said that was the one action that would GUARANTEE he would never talk to that person again. (granted he put his hand up my skirt without warning and tried to pull off my thigh high socks)

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"Paying for my meal/movie/whatever without offering first. . . ."

(I dunno how to work the quote highlighting stuff)

Interesting. I have always been a "the-guy-pays" guy, though not as adamant about it as some of the other posters.

Only once did I have a date (on the second date, out to dinner), where the girl said "this time it's my turn to pay." I hesitated, debating in my head whether to insist I pay or let her pay, and in the end I said "OK." Then she said, "Right answer."

Anyway, I wonder how much of that is a generational thing, versus a personal preference thing. The other "the-guy-always-pays" posters are closer to my age (40's) and beyond.

[pappyld04]

hmmm im not sure for myself, because i have never really been on a real date, and never even really talked to more than one guy

but i once slapped a guy in the face and he said that was the one action that would GUARANTEE he would never talk to that person again. (granted he put his hand up my skirt without warning and tried to pull off my thigh high socks)

He was lucky to gotten away so cheap. They cut the hands off of thieves in some areas!

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So we've kicked around the topic of "the guy always pays" versus the girl paying her way.

What about things like the guy holding doors open for the girl, shutting the car door for her, helping to push in her stool . . . uh . . . der . . . um . . . I mean, helping scootch in the girl's chair at the restaurant table, helping her on and off with her coat, and standing up when a woman enters the room?

Are these things OK, or would some of you girls prefer to get your own doors and chairs and coats and things?

(Personally, I've always tried to do the door thing; never much the chair thing, only a little bit the coat thing; and if I stand up when someone comes into a room or I greet them, I tend to do it regardless of whether it is a guy or gal.)

[sun_flower969]

...and when getting back in the car, I unlocked my wife's door and held it open for her. Then she just sat there, and didn't reach over to unlock my door.

(Most of my cars have always been the manual locks, crank-windows variety.)

After I got in, I said, "It's a good thing we're married, 'cause if we were just dating, I'd kick you to the curb for that."

Anyway, I thought it might be amusing to see what others here had in the way of small-potatoes things that if their date did or didn't do, it would earn the date a quick "Hasta la vista, Baby" and a boot in the butt.

Wasn't that in a movie...

I think that, for me, being mean, to like a waitress or rudeness of any kind is a definite, deal breaker! See ya SUCKA!

Hmmm maybe I can think of more...

What about things like the guy holding doors open for the girl, shutting the car door for her, helping to push in her stool . . . uh . . . der . . . um . . . I mean, helping scootch in the girl's chair at the restaurant table, helping her on and off with her coat, and standing up when a woman enters the room?

Are these things OK, or would some of you girls prefer to get your own doors and chairs and coats and things?

I think that is so sweet! really lets a girl know you respect her and are glad to be out w/ her.

Pushing in her stool.... nice! hahahaha

[ladylove]

So we've kicked around the topic of "the guy always pays" versus the girl paying her way.

What about things like the guy holding doors open for the girl, shutting the car door for her, helping to push in her stool . . . uh . . . der . . . um . . . I mean, helping scootch in the girl's chair at the restaurant table, helping her on and off with her coat, and standing up when a woman enters the room?

Are these things OK, or would some of you girls prefer to get your own doors and chairs and coats and things?

(Personally, I've always tried to do the door thing; never much the chair thing, only a little bit the coat thing; and if I stand up when someone comes into a room or I greet them, I tend to do it regardless of whether it is a guy or gal.)

I hate chauvinism, but I love being treated like a women. Open any door for me, yes please, thank you. help me on with my coat, yes thank you. You want to pull out my chair, okay thank you, but usually only at a formal affair or fancy restaurant. Standing to greet me, not at home on an everyday basis. I can't remember if any one has stood when I left the table to go to the ladies room.