Members Shoop Posted October 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2008 Why men only? I'm wondering about men and orgasms....I know this should be a question for men AND women, but I'm looking for the men angle right now.I know why I sometimes can't come (as a female)...Tired...distracted...tired....not in the right head-space...It is NEVER because I don't find my boyfriend attractive. He is super sexy to me....but occasionally it's just hard to do. I usually DO It but sometimes it's hard...Sometimes HE can't come though...usually when sex is MY idea, I've noticed. So maybe the same reasons I can't come are the ones that he can't come? As an insecure (working on that! LOL) female, I have tended to worry it was some thing about ME that didn't turn him on enough etc in the past but I'm trying to not think that way. FYI we've been together a bit over 2 years and I'm 35 and he's 25. This is not a huge issue at all, it is just every so often that it happens. I haven't asked HIM the reasons as I don't want to make a big deal of it and make an issue out of it, yk? Generally (like when this doesn't happen) our sex life is GREAT...so once again I dont' want to make a big deal of out of this...So, list your reasons men!!!! ps-oh my insecurities come from the fact that my perfectionish ex-husband didn't find me attractive after I had our kids and wanted me to get implants..He wanted me to be stick skinny with big fake tits. (can you say PORNO ANYONE?) I didn't get them....but in my defense I AM pretty cute. I mean, my boyfriend plays that song that goes "my girlfriend's a dick magnet" and jokes that I"M a dick magnet because there are always men hitting on me and he's SOOO used to it...(K, wrote that not to be full of myself AT ALL, BECAUSE I'M SOOOO NOT, just so you get an idea and don't think that maybe my boyfriend DOES think i'm icky or maybe my ex-h was right and I am not attractive) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted October 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2008 I've had troubles before where stress didn't allow me to climax. I've also had days when I was completely into it and still couldn't climax because I wore my partner out. Lastly, I'm apparently not the one night stand type of guy either because I couldn't climax the one time I tried that sort of ...erm.. "relationship".**WARNING, THIS WILL BE BLUNT*** I think your husband is a dumbass, just for the record. From your post script it seems to me that he's a fairly superficial person and his head may not be in the right place. This has nothing to do with you, this has everything to do with what seems like a shallow personality. I'm sure you'll defend him to the T but I would take a long hard look at your relationship and re-evaluate your husband and his bond to you.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted October 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2008 I've had troubles before where stress didn't allow me to climax. I've also had days when I was completely into it and still couldn't climax because I wore my partner out. Lastly, I'm apparently not the one night stand type of guy either because I couldn't climax the one time I tried that sort of ...erm.. "relationship".**WARNING, THIS WILL BE BLUNT*** I think your husband is a dumbass, just for the record. From your post script it seems to me that he's a fairly superficial person and his head may not be in the right place. This has nothing to do with you, this has everything to do with what seems like a shallow personality. I'm sure you'll defend him to the T but I would take a long hard look at your relationship and re-evaluate your husband and his bond to you.Randy.Randy,I think she was talking about her EX- husband and rightfully so.Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted October 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2008 Duly noted.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KentJ Posted January 7, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Why men only? I'm wondering about men and orgasms....I know this should be a question for men AND women, but I'm looking for the men angle right now.I know why I sometimes can't come (as a female)...Tired...distracted...tired....not in the right head-space...It is NEVER because I don't find my boyfriend attractive. He is super sexy to me....but occasionally it's just hard to do. I usually DO It but sometimes it's hard...Sometimes HE can't come though...usually when sex is MY idea, I've noticed. So maybe the same reasons I can't come are the ones that he can't come? As an insecure (working on that! LOL) female, I have tended to worry it was some thing about ME that didn't turn him on enough etc in the past but I'm trying to not think that way. FYI we've been together a bit over 2 years and I'm 35 and he's 25. This is not a huge issue at all, it is just every so often that it happens. I haven't asked HIM the reasons as I don't want to make a big deal of it and make an issue out of it, yk? Generally (like when this doesn't happen) our sex life is GREAT...so once again I dont' want to make a big deal of out of this...So, list your reasons men!!!! ps-oh my insecurities come from the fact that my perfectionish ex-husband didn't find me attractive after I had our kids and wanted me to get implants..He wanted me to be stick skinny with big fake tits. (can you say PORNO ANYONE?) I didn't get them....but in my defense I AM pretty cute. I mean, my boyfriend plays that song that goes "my girlfriend's a dick magnet" and jokes that I"M a dick magnet because there are always men hitting on me and he's SOOO used to it...(K, wrote that not to be full of myself AT ALL, BECAUSE I'M SOOOO NOT, just so you get an idea and don't think that maybe my boyfriend DOES think i'm icky or maybe my ex-h was right and I am not attractive)Shoop, Sorry for the late response, but I have only in the past couple of days rediscovered the site. As far as the not climaxing is concerned my reasons have been: ~"Beer Dick" where the alcohol has allowed me to get erect, but not climax ~ My desire to "give to my wife" for that encounter, where I want to reinforce to her that I love to please her and that I will come some other time, because this moment is about her ~ There are times where I have worn her out, and she is not able to continue, nor wants to ~ Sometimes she gets "disconnected" and says "I'm done, get it over with" and I lose interest But never is my lack of coming due to my wife initiating sex. I find it a turn-on when she initiated sex! Everyone want to feel desired. And just because one is in a committed relationship, one should not have to lose that feeling. I would go further to say that it is even more important to have that desire reinforced when one is in a committed relationship. Finally, I too must weigh-in on your ExH, and voice my opinion that he appears to have been a very shallow SOB! The most exciting thing about an SO is all of the things, physical, scent, personality that attracted us to them. And while we should evolve through the years, we should always remember that the relationship and not exclusivly the body parts are what made us come together in the first place! Njoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted January 7, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 The most exciting thing about an SO is all of the things, physical, scent, personality that attracted us to them. And while we should evolve through the years, we should always remember that the relationship and not exclusively the body parts are what made us come together in the first place!I love that you wrote, "we should evolve over the years". I say that all the time and I have not yet heard anyone else say such a thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted January 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 1) Recharge time. I'm not one of these guys who can pork 6 times a day. While I've done a couple of back-to-backs, mostly I need a good 12-24 hours to recharge, and sometimes 2 or 3 days to get properly horney again. So if the wife is horny and I'm not quite ready, it's not always the best sex.2) Tiredness. Sometimes I'm horney as hell in the morning and through the day, but by the time I'm done with work and supper and the kids are fed and homeworked and read-to and off to bed and blah blah whatever else, I'm just tired and not much in the mood and just plain sleep looks awfully attractive.3) Anxiety. Mainly with a newish girl. After 15 years together with the Mrs., not a problem any more.4) Booze. Again, not a current problem, but it has ever happened.5) ADD. While I don't think I have real ADD, my mind does bounce around a bunch and sometimes I lose focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted January 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 "5) ADD. While I don't think I have real ADD, my mind does bounce around a bunch and sometimes I lose focus"I'm so glad I'm not the only one with that problem. I feel bad cause like at the bar the other night. I was dancing and all of a sudden realized my mind was somewhere out in la la land...lol. Makes for a poor first impression...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted January 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 Thinking a little more about this . . .There are times when I haven't doinked or whacked-off in a while, and then when I do, I pop pretty quickly. But then other times under similar circumstances, it will take quite a while.No idea why, it's just the way it is, and it doesn't seem to have anything to do with tiredness or recharge time or any of the other things in my other post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DADT Posted January 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Shoop, do you spend much time warming your up BF with foreplay? Men do generally get aroused more quickly than women. But men aren't light bulbs that turn on the minute they see a boob, especially once they've been in a relationship for a while. Women don't always appreciate that men need to be seduced too.Don't get me wrong. This does not mean that your man no longer finds you attractive. It just means that once the novelty of a new relationships wears off, then both partners have to get more creative and put in a bit more effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted April 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2009 Why men only? I'm wondering about men and orgasms....Tired...distracted...tired....not in the right head-space...It is NEVER because I don't find my boyfriend attractive. He is super sexy to me....but occasionally it's just hard to do. I usually DO It but sometimes it's hard...Sometimes HE can't come though...usually when sex is MY idea, I've noticed. So maybe the same reasons I can't come are the ones that he can't come? As an insecure (working on that! LOL) female, I have tended to worry it was some thing about ME that didn't turn him on enough etc in the past but I'm trying to not think that way. FYI we've been together a bit over 2 years and I'm 35 and he's 25. This is not a huge issue at all, it is just every so often that it happens. I haven't asked HIM the reasons as I don't want to make a big deal of it and make an issue out of it, yk? Generally (like when this doesn't happen) our sex life is GREAT...so once again I dont' want to make a big deal of out of this...So, list your reasons men!!!! It's never because I don't find my partner attractive. It hasn't happened that often, but for me it's always been because I've had an orgasm within the last hour or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members raunchy_ricky Posted April 22, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 Distraction is the big one! If i have things on my mind i cant really get in the mood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted April 22, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 sometimes I'm more interested in just totally satisfing my SO.so I don't think about me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members madlilly Posted April 30, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Sometimes she gets "disconnected" and says "I'm done, get it over with" and I lose interestCan I just say "OUCH"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members garry Posted May 1, 2009 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 sometimes I'm more interested in just totally satisfing my SO.so I don't think about me.Yeah, that happens sometimes to me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crossroads123 Posted May 1, 2009 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 I don't know why either but sometimes it just won't happen. But then again if it's not happening try to force it to and that stress makes it worse. Tiredness, stress, worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kjellis Posted May 1, 2009 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2009 My wife enjoys having a max of 3 orgasims. After the 3rd she doesn't like it anymore. So if I haven't timed it right, and she is done and I am not, it is kind of a let down where even a handjob or blowjob won't get me off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members D.dudge Posted October 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 This isnt even a question for me. If the guys an asshole I cant respect him. If I dont respect him, he cant turn me on. My dignity and self respect is worth far more to me than multiple orgasms. Id rather be single than let someone treat me like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Still learning Posted October 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted October 24, 2010 Fake breasts may feel good but are not natural .... not so pleasurable in reality. Take it from a breast lover.Fake is not as good even harder, and look funny when not done right.One simple gauge: if your man is hard and wanting you, that's ALL you need t know, he wants you.This woman I want gets me to wet my underwear before things happen even at my age! (An obsessed perv? Oh well)Barbies have that look but don't stir those real deep emotions, some figure their looks are all it takes.Some of those are even unsure about themselves, obsessed about it.This crush / love of mine is still getting used to me loving her like she never had it before,she had kids so her body is not perfect but I can't help finding her so sexy and wanting her a lot and wanting to show it even in non sexual ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted January 6, 2012 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2012 Ive only just read this...And as I have stated on a few other threads/posts within "Too Timid" I have never been in a habit of sharing such personal information...However, I can only share what I know of my own personal experience of the Topic at hand...Of course I have had sex with a woman without having an orgasm myself. Sometimes it isnt about me, but satisfying the woman I am with. I receive a lot of satisfaction of seeing the woman I am with achieve orgasm, and sometimes multiple orgams. Ive never been not sexually turned on by the woman I am with, why would I be there.As others have stated here, it has happened where alcohol has taken the best of me coupled with work exhaustion and I have sexually collapsed, though it hasnt happened but a couple of times.Stress plays a lot in performance of men, so Ive been told, and it did when I was going through my divorce. I had no interest in Sex whatsoever, too much going on within my mind. Work or job related issues can add stress which could also add to a lack of performance in the bedroom.And Lastly, Long Distance Relationships most certainly add to the lack of performance in Men, especially Me!!!!But when I am with my GF, and we're intimately involved, we Fuck like Horny Jackrabbits, and we cant have enough of each other, or at least for me, and she says the same...But we all know how women have a tendency to feign sexual orgasms...Oh, but that isnt this topic...Anyhow, Sorry to re-hash this thread...I thought it interesting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Barrone Posted May 1, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I don't know why either but sometimes it just won't happen. But then again if it's not happening try to force it to and that stress makes it worse. Tiredness, stress, worry.Yep same here! It's usually when I try to please her when I'm really not into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted May 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 I have had many time when I do not reach orgasm. This usually happens when I have had a long session of love making with my partner. There is a point where I can feel an,orgasm coming and then it stops. I don't loose an erection and can keep going for an extended amount of time. Sometime I just want to give my partner the gift of her release without my orgasm intefering with the pleasure she is getting. Sometimes I decide to delay my,own orgasm because I like the sexual play we are engaged in. Often orgasms are not my goal when having sex. They are great, and I enjoy them, and want them. But I like all the play time and want to extend that as long as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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