Members whitefang2002 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Well, me and SO broke up. And he wants me out ASAP. And he knows that I don't have anyone to turn to and no money. and he won't let me keep the car that he once said if something happened between us that i could keep it. I am so mad, upset, and heart broken...as I didn't see this coming. He said, not last ngiht but the night before, that he was done. He can't do it anymore...and he They also want an evicion notice from SO. My daughter calls him daddy and I still love him. This is going to take a long time to get over. I feel like i don't want anything else to do with men after this....as I have had so much bad luck with them. My only choice was my mom and step dad and i sucked it up and gave them a call. Nope i can't move in with them. My mom is taking the rest of the day and coming over and she is going to take me out to try to find an appartment. But once I move....I am sure I won't be on the net for a long long time. i thought I would be able to change his mind cuz the only reason he is doing this is cuz he is scared of commitment....But I couldn't change his mind........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm so sorry. I know exactly how this feels. Hugs cyber hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cowgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Im sorry too. Hope it gets better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted November 5, 2008 Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Best wishes to you darlin'. One tidbit of advice: don't encourage your DD to call any man Daddy, unless it's her real one, even if the guy's ok with it. That's waaaaay too much for a little one to handle.*big hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm sooo sorry to hear this. Chin up lil lady. You'll find your new path. Keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm so sorry your having such a tuff time now. Good luck with all you need to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members makasha1 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 All I can say is that I hope you can work through this and move your life in a positive direction. Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm very sorry to hear this, but take it from a old timer. Things will work out and you'll be fine and it's better to part ways now while you are young with your whole life in front of you than to spend you life with someone who doesn't appreciate you and love you for who you are.Keep the faith and don't give up.Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 You poor thing... I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Time does heal pain. I know that is no comfort because you want to feel better NOW. I feel so bad. If you lived here I would help you. So sorry you are going through this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Sorry to hear about this but I must say it is rather offensive to us men when you equate fools with the rest of us! Dislike this man all you want, but don't allow this to set your mind in any one direction. It's really beginning to look like a bunch of man-haters around here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Sorry to hear about this but I must say it is rather offensive to us men when you equate fools with the rest of us! Dislike this man all you want, but don't allow this to set your mind in any one direction. It's really beginning to look like a bunch of man-haters around here!Don't look at it that way Pappy! I think they are sincerely just afraid of being hurt again!How are you doing btw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted November 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Maybe I'm just looking at things in the wrong way. I have been a bit cynical since I recieved my next reject from the SSI thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 well as a certified man hater I'll add,dont stoop to trying to change his mind! (i promise you it never works, even if it looks like it is working temporarily) it is his loss and he will have to deal with the consequences! get away from him ASAP and never look back! all men use women, the only difference is HOW they go about doing it. there are the obvious ones, and the more dangerous ones who pretend to give a relationship until they get bored or something else comes along.you do not need any male to validate your existence. look at this as an opportunity to focus on YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. The others are right. Once the hard part is over, things will get better. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 all men use women, the only difference is HOW they go about doing it. there are the obvious ones, and the more dangerous ones who pretend to give a relationship until they get bored or something else comes along.That can go both ways Em. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise!!!There are a lot of good caring people in this world, just like there are a lot of self centered jerks of both sexes.Women use men as much as men use women, that's a fact.Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Women use men as much as men use women, that's a fact.in the sexual abuse department i can hardly agree that the extent of the damage is the same. men are not considered "damaged goods" by society if they are "used" for sex by women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Sorry to hear about this but I must say it is rather offensive to us men when you equate fools with the rest of us! Dislike this man all you want, but don't allow this to set your mind in any one direction. It's really beginning to look like a bunch of man-haters around here!Pappy, I understand how you can feel this way; but I truly think man hater are people who have been deeply hurt by a man and haven't or can't move on. It is my optimistic opinion that their heart will forgive and open again. Don't despair, we're not all man haters..... I love men, just not all at one time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 That can go both ways Em. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise!!!There are a lot of good caring people in this world, just like there are a lot of self centered jerks of both sexes.Women use men as much as men use women, that's a fact.ManBut women don't get a bad rap for it. Why? Because life is just not fair all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 in the sexual abuse department i can hardly agree that the extent of the damage is the same. men are not considered "damaged goods" by society if they are "used" for sex by women.Your right, but it doesn't make them feel any better emotionally, than a female..... Contrary to belief, men do have feelings. They've just ben taught not to show them. After all it wouldn't be manly to be sad about it, would it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted November 6, 2008 Review Team Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 I have said it plenty of times on here, I have been used as much as any woman and from a very early age. But, even with that, I have always gotten along well with men as friends and as scary as it is, I open myself up to more than freindship, too. I am glad I have and do because some great things have come from it. Although, there have been times when I was anti-man for awhile, but those were the same times I was anti-anyone.Yes, women use, too. Maybe not always to the degree sexually that SOME men will, BUT, saying you want to change him is a form of use, too. It is an emotional abuse, IMO, and I much rather be used physically.As for not seeing it coming, I hate to say it, but from your posts whitefang, I am not surprised at all.I wish you luck and it will be ok eventually, wounds take time to heal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Whoa....this post took an ugly tone.Listen, I think it is unfair to smush all 'men' or all 'women' into a group. People are individuals. There are really bad men out there and really bad women too. I can understand how being used or abused would make a woman 'hate' men - I have been there - but I never hated ALL men. Now I have a wonderful, caring, sensitive, loving man - and if I had grouped all men into the 'scumbag' box then I wouldn't have him.It is unfair to suggest that all men are users. We all use people for various reasons. Even good, decent people will admit that they have used someone at some point for something. Even if it is unintentional, it happens. We need to look at this for what it is: Whitefang got hurt. I am soooo sorry for that. He obviously is not mature enough to be in a good relationship. Poontang got hurt too - but a woman - so there are two sides to the coin here. I feel badly for both people - but I am not going to suggest that we are all a bunch of users or haters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted November 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 I am so sorry things have turned out this way for you, whitefang. I know how hard it is to start over.It can be very scary, too. keep us updated and let us know how things are going.I am not really all that far away. If there is anything I can do, email me, ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted November 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Whitefang I know your hurt honey, you will get over it though because you deserve better, your super hot and some day some man will stop and see just how amazing you are and do everything he can to make you happy. As far as apartment goes can you look into low-income housing? I know the sterotype sthat go with this but you just need to use it as a stepping stone so that you can get a good job, and get a better place. How are you feeling besides this? If you ever want to come to NY my door is open! Suzy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 you do not need any male to validate your existence. look at this as an opportunity to focus on YOU. There is so much wisdom in these 2 sentences. Thank you, Eminatic. K, I wish you the best. I can't imagine what you are going thru. Please keep us updated.Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whitefang2002 Posted November 7, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Thanks everyone for your kind words. Just to make it clear I wasn't saying that I was a man-hater by no means. Just need to take a break from them. Hey they say you find "the one" when you aren't looking right???Things aren't going to well with the apartments right now...or jobs. I am looking into income based rentals. I have 2 that I am going to look at right now but I am not sure the specs on them so I don't know yet if they fall into my realistic catagory. I will be stopping in now and then until I move out...and then I am not sure when I will be back. I am supposed to start up my college stuff this month but there is no chance in hell I will beable to....not will all the stuff going on and so I will just have to wait till fall. And I am ok with that cuz that means I should be settled down with me and my daughter and have some place to start. I wouldn't be able to pass the classes now anyways....and I am already physically ill from all the stress....now ex SO still wants to be friends after this and he still cares about me still...all that has happened and what not....I really think it is the commitment issue. He is still playing with my daughter ect. And I am trying to break her of calling her daddy. And no it wasn't my original idea for her to call him daddy in the first place. I never said it and I don't know where she learned it from....but she started calling him that herself. And I couldn't get her to stop. So I just let it be. Besides, her father isn't in the picture anyways...and I don't want him to be. And LL I know you said that by my other posts you said you could see it coming....well I do write every little thing on TT so I will explain....Since that last time we got into a fight...things have been gettting so much better! We hadn't had another fight or argument till this. And the posts that I made like 2 days before this one....he had already dumped me. Even his mom doesn't understand him and thinks he's not making good choices. They are a very close family and so that was kind of a surprise to me and I was and am kind of happy that she is along with me on this. But I am not going to make her talk to him or anything like that. That would probably only make him mad. Ok I think I am done for the day. Bye bye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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