How Many Of You....

[Shoop]

...after a few years are STILL SOOOO attracted to your partner? How long have you been together?

I've been with my boyfriend for not quite 3 years and I am still so insanely attracted to him. I know this tends to go away ("they say") however I'm hoping it won't, and am looking for ways to keep it alive.

So far the things I DO for him is shave, lots of bj's and generally treat him very nicely. (there are many more things but I think those are important to him so I'm just listing the select few).

For me, he occasionally shaves (which I like, only since him, never had anyone else do it), cooks me lots of yummy, healthy meals and gives me "boob orgasms" whenever I'd like (something we came up with, I never had them with anyone else).

What do you do?

[sun_flower969]

We have been together for 17 years! married almost 14. I still am so attracted to him! I wear lingerie, buy new from time to time and we mix it up with toys and new positions when the mood strkes. We stay sexually active and keep things spicy. We always make time for each other even w/ 3 kids...

[jj53]

Di and I have been married for 33 years and have been together for 35 and she still turns me on everytime I see her or hear her voice. The sex is hotter than ever and gets better everyday. How does it last this long? Well we talk to one another and have the greatest respect for one another, and have great sex to keep things spiced up. Life is a lot more fun when you have someone special to enjoy it with and Di is my someone special and I work hard to be her's.

[Shoop]

Di and I have been married for 33 years and have been together for 35 and she still turns me on everytime I see her or hear her voice. The sex is hotter than ever and gets better everyday. How does it last this long? Well we talk to one another and have the greatest respect for one another, and have great sex to keep things spiced up. Life is a lot more fun when you have someone special to enjoy it with and Di is my someone special and I work hard to be her's.

awh, aren't you cute! I love that!!!!

[garry]

Together for 30 years, married for 28 . I'm still as hot for her now as when I first met her . She was 16 and I was 18 when we met. She is the love of my life and I can't think of being with someone else.

[Shoop]

Together for 30 years, married for 28 . I'm still as hot for her now as when I first met her . She was 16 and I was 18 when we met. She is the love of my life and I can't think of being with someone else.

K, silly question for the LONG MARRIED folks...and let me preface this with I DO NOT SEE THIS BEING AN ISSUE on my end, but those of you who know my shallow ex, this is why I ask this question...how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER in a world of ever-present young hot men/women (I guess I'm mainly talking to the men here) that you see everywhere...how do you remain attracted to your partner?

I KNOW that probably sounds silly, however once again, I'm thinking about my ex and how he obviously would not be ok with me aging if he wanted to change my body through surgery at age 32. My current boyfriend (who is 10 years younger than I am) does not seem so shallow so I hope I don't run into these issues, however my ex situation sort of "sets me up to worry" if that makes sense.

I know I for one will definitely always think he's hot. I know that because I know my personality....

[ladylove]

K, silly question for the LONG MARRIED folks...and let me preface this with I DO NOT SEE THIS BEING AN ISSUE on my end, but those of you who know my shallow ex, this is why I ask this question...how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER in a world of ever-present young hot men/women (I guess I'm mainly talking to the men here) that you see everywhere...how do you remain attracted to your partner?

I KNOW that probably sounds silly, however once again, I'm thinking about my ex and how he obviously would not be ok with me aging if he wanted to change my body through surgery at age 32. My current boyfriend (who is 10 years younger than I am) does not seem so shallow so I hope I don't run into these issues, however my ex situation sort of "sets me up to worry" if that makes sense.

I know I for one will definitely always think he's hot. I know that because I know my personality....

Shoop, I think this is for everyone. Time can change things for the better or worse and I'v seen and have too many friends that are apart of the "first wives club" so to speak. That's were their adoring husband have turned them in for a newer model. Good or bad this is an issue for everyone. Keeping things fresh, and keeping myself feeling and looking attractive is part of what's important to me. Also keeping things fresh in the bedroom can be a challenge if you don't work at it. Having your partner find you attractive and sexy and desirable..... if he loves you, you love him and you love yourself no worry.

*People found Marilyn Monroe sexy as a size 4 and a 14. It's all in the attitude baby!

[Amylynn920]

4 years now and the sex is hotter than ever. We do all kinds of things to keep it hot, new toys, positions and places. it just keeps getting better and better.

[thunderchild]

Together 16 years and married for 7, sex is better than ever as I sorrta came out of my shell about 2 years ago. Which sounds like we missed a lot but we didn't we now have something "new" and we are like kids again. I was 16 and he 21 when we got together. Still find him as sexy now as back then.

We have both got older and chubbier but we still find each other sexy, I guess once you are happy you do see past the weight the wrinkles and grey hair!!!!

[Sunday]

...after a few years are STILL SOOOO attracted to your partner? How long have you been together?

I tend to fall so far in love I go blind to everyone else.

I was with my first partner for 20 years and for 20 years I thought she was the most beautiful, sexy woman on earth. I never looked at porn or bought girly magazines because I had no desire to look at anyone but her. We never married. That relationship crashed and burned after 20 years and I saw her a couple of years after - short, kind of dumpy, never smiling - and thought to myself "WHAT was I thinking??"

Then came my first wife - I was never really THAT attracted to her physically. The attraction was she was very intelligent, funny, and witty but my appreciation for that went away pretty fast.

My second wife truly WAS the most beautiful, sexy, wonderful woman on earth. She was everything. I lost her after only 7 years.

[thunderchild]

My second wife truly WAS the most beautiful, sexy, wonderful woman on earth. She was everything. I lost her after only 7 years.

God I soooooooo want to give you a hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[whitess]

Married for 20 months, together almost 5 years. I lover her more everyday, specially since we can talk about anything and everything. I'm slowly getting her to come out of her shell and even though our bedroom fun doesn't happen as often (we had our first baby 8 months ago) it gets better everytime! I never thought she would do some of the things she's done (to me ) but I'm loving it!

Even after our baby I'm still very attracted to her and I still find her sexy! Specially when I get lucky enough and see her in lingerie

[jj53]

K, silly question for the LONG MARRIED folks...and let me preface this with I DO NOT SEE THIS BEING AN ISSUE on my end, but those of you who know my shallow ex, this is why I ask this question...how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER in a world of ever-present young hot men/women (I guess I'm mainly talking to the men here) that you see everywhere...how do you remain attracted to your partner?

I KNOW that probably sounds silly, however once again, I'm thinking about my ex and how he obviously would not be ok with me aging if he wanted to change my body through surgery at age 32. My current boyfriend (who is 10 years younger than I am) does not seem so shallow so I hope I don't run into these issues, however my ex situation sort of "sets me up to worry" if that makes sense.

I know I for one will definitely always think he's hot. I know that because I know my personality....

Well Shoop It's like this with Di and I. She knows I look at other women and from time to time will point out a nice hot lady to me. She say's if I ever stop looking she'll be checking me for a pulse. I'm totally dedicated to Di and will love her and be with her forever, but as long as there is nice scenery out there I'm going to take it in and if I happen to really get turned on by another woman Di knows she's going to reap the benefits from it. As for aging we're having so much fun we don't have time to notice that we're getting older, we're just getting better. JJ & Di

[kjellis]

Married for 5, together for 8 years.

And yes, she still makes my jeans tight if you catch my drift. Even in something that isn't the slightest bit sexy (like sweats and a baggy shirt).

And the sex is better now than ever.

[square]

. . . how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER in a world of ever-present young hot men/women . . .

how do you remain attracted to your partner?

(Married 11 years, together 15.)

I married a girl 10 years younger than me . Also, as I get older, I am finding that the chicks I check out are also getting older. I still look at the young ones and think they are pretty, but don't really have fantasies about them. (If I were to become unmarried for whatever reason, I would not go for a gal much younger than me; we would have nothing in common.)

However, I guess I am one of the shallow shitheads, since after popping out 3 kids, my wife went up by about 150 pounds, and I cannot honestly say I found her attractive like that. But more than physical appearances, what has made me less than lovey dovey with her at various times was and is a lot of stress from raising the kids and trying to make ends meet on one paycheck, plus dealing with a live-in in-law, a feeling that I'm busting my tail to provide for my family while my wife doesn't do her share (I'm sure she has her perspective on that, but I think I have some valid justification for that feeling), and a feeling at times that I am playing second fiddle. I expect to be behind the kids in priority, but when I feel like she is married to the telephone instead of to me, it's tough to be overly affectionate.

Over time, as the kids have gotten older, some of the stress level has gone down. She ended up getting bypass surgery, lost a lot of weight, started taking better care of herself, eating better and exercising, had a tummy tuck, looks a lot better, doesn't yak on the phone quite as much, sex has evolved and gotten a lot better. And I have tried very hard not to let a lot of things get to me that used to. And we goof on each other and make each other laugh. (And for the record, the surgeries were her idea; I never said anything about her weight, and even tried to talk her out of the bypass surgery.)

But I also feel like our interests have diverged. How do I stay attracted to her? It's not always that easy.

[mystofpric]

(Married 11 years, together 15.)

I married a girl 10 years younger than me . Also, as I get older, I am finding that the chicks I check out are also getting older. I still look at the young ones and think they are pretty, but don't really have fantasies about them. (If I were to become unmarried for whatever reason, I would not go for a gal much younger than me; we would have nothing in common.)

However, I guess I am one of the shallow shitheads, since after popping out 3 kids, my wife went up by about 150 pounds, and I cannot honestly say I found her attractive like that. But more than physical appearances, what has made me less than lovey dovey with her at various times was and is a lot of stress from raising the kids and trying to make ends meet on one paycheck, plus dealing with a live-in in-law, a feeling that I'm busting my tail to provide for my family while my wife doesn't do her share (I'm sure she has her perspective on that, but I think I have some valid justification for that feeling), and a feeling at times that I am playing second fiddle. I expect to be behind the kids in priority, but when I feel like she is married to the telephone instead of to me, it's tough to be overly affectionate.

Over time, as the kids have gotten older, some of the stress level has gone down. She ended up getting bypass surgery, lost a lot of weight, started taking better care of herself, eating better and exercising, had a tummy tuck, looks a lot better, doesn't yak on the phone quite as much, sex has evolved and gotten a lot better. And I have tried very hard not to let a lot of things get to me that used to. And we goof on each other and make each other laugh. (And for the record, the surgeries were her idea; I never said anything about her weight, and even tried to talk her out of the bypass surgery.)

But I also feel like our interests have diverged. How do I stay attracted to her? It's not always that easy.

Wow that's brutely honest, and yet it stills gives those of us not together that long hope.

[ladylove]

(Married 11 years, together 15.)

I married a girl 10 years younger than me . Also, as I get older, I am finding that the chicks I check out are also getting older. I still look at the young ones and think they are pretty, but don't really have fantasies about them. (If I were to become unmarried for whatever reason, I would not go for a gal much younger than me; we would have nothing in common.)

However, I guess I am one of the shallow shitheads, since after popping out 3 kids, my wife went up by about 150 pounds, and I cannot honestly say I found her attractive like that. But more than physical appearances, what has made me less than lovey dovey with her at various times was and is a lot of stress from raising the kids and trying to make ends meet on one paycheck, plus dealing with a live-in in-law, a feeling that I'm busting my tail to provide for my family while my wife doesn't do her share (I'm sure she has her perspective on that, but I think I have some valid justification for that feeling), and a feeling at times that I am playing second fiddle. I expect to be behind the kids in priority, but when I feel like she is married to the telephone instead of to me, it's tough to be overly affectionate.

Over time, as the kids have gotten older, some of the stress level has gone down. She ended up getting bypass surgery, lost a lot of weight, started taking better care of herself, eating better and exercising, had a tummy tuck, looks a lot better, doesn't yak on the phone quite as much, sex has evolved and gotten a lot better. And I have tried very hard not to let a lot of things get to me that used to. And we goof on each other and make each other laugh. (And for the record, the surgeries were her idea; I never said anything about her weight, and even tried to talk her out of the bypass surgery.)

But I also feel like our interests have diverged. How do I stay attracted to her? It's not always that easy.

There are many different kinds of bypass surgeries; I'm assuming you mean gastric bypass.

I think you need to date. You don't have to spend a lot of $$ doing it. Once a week go out together just the two or you, take turns planning the date.

[attyathome]

There are many different kinds of bypass surgeries; I'm assuming you mean gastric bypass.

I think you need to date. You don't have to spend a lot of $$ doing it. Once a week go out together just the two or you, take turns planning the date.

I agree with you 100%, LL. While perhaps not a cure-all, I think dating is absolutely a necessary component to keeping things vibrant between us. We have been very neglectful of our dating relationship in the past; it's so easy to just forget to call babysitters and get lazy. Then we end up spending every evening in our own zones. So, inspired by posts and messages here on TT, I have resolved to get back to frequent and regular dates. We have sitters booked for every weekend for the next 6 weeks, and I am committed to keeping that up so we can go out once per week unless there's a legit. conflict. (like this weekend when dh's parents are in town. They don't babysit. ) It gives us time to be away from all the administrative details of our lives and simply enjoy each other's company. I also like anticipating going out--planning something nice/fun (doesn't have to be expensive), putting on some sexy underthings, nice clothes, etc. It's refreshing for us.

[ladylove]

I agree with you 100%, LL. While perhaps not a cure-all, I think dating is absolutely a necessary component to keeping things vibrant between us. We have been very neglectful of our dating relationship in the past; it's so easy to just forget to call babysitters and get lazy. Then we end up spending every evening in our own zones. So, inspired by posts and messages here on TT, I have resolved to get back to frequent and regular dates. We have sitters booked for every weekend for the next 6 weeks, and I am committed to keeping that up so we can go out once per week unless there's a legit. conflict. (like this weekend when dh's parents are in town. They don't babysit. ) It gives us time to be away from all the administrative details of our lives and simply enjoy each other's company. I also like anticipating going out--planning something nice/fun (doesn't have to be expensive), putting on some sexy underthings, nice clothes, etc. It's refreshing for us.

Thanks Sultry, glad to know you agree

[square]

Oh, yeah -- it was the gastric variety of bypass.

We'll have to work on dating more. We do go out once in a while, just not very often. I agree we need to put in more effort there.

[square]

...how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER . . .

Back to this question; Some of the people at my work I have seen pretty regularly for 20 years plus or minus, and I don't really notice them aging. To me, they don't look that different from when we were all early and mid 20s.

Others, from the same original group and age range, but that I only see once in a while (sometimes at couple-of-year intervals or more), they look like they've aged a lot.

So with hubs and wives, you see them every day, so maybe you just don't notice them getting older.

I met a fellow at a party of a mutual friend almost 10 years ago; figured him to be about 10 years older than me. Turns out he grew up in the same town as me, went to the same schools, WOW he even graduated the same year as me. I went home and scared up the old year book and found him in it, and then remembered him. But Holy Crap, I thought, Do I look that old too?

[Sunday]

but those of you who know my shallow ex, this is why I ask this question...how do you deal with your partner getting OLDER in a world of ever-present young hot men/women (I guess I'm mainly talking to the men here) that you see everywhere...how do you remain attracted to your partner?

I don't. I don't have much desire for my SO any more even though she would be considered attractive and sexy by most people. She has little to no interest in sex with me, and it was her lack of interest in me, not her looks, that killed my desire for her.

I would be happier with someone who wasn't an ex-model but who was interested in fun, adventurous, loving sex.

[ladylove]

Back to this question; Some of the people at my work I have seen pretty regularly for 20 years plus or minus, and I don't really notice them aging. To me, they don't look that different from when we were all early and mid 20s.

Others, from the same original group and age range, but that I only see once in a while (sometimes at couple-of-year intervals or more), they look like they've aged a lot.

So with hubs and wives, you see them every day, so maybe you just don't notice them getting older.

I met a fellow at a party of a mutual friend almost 10 years ago; figured him to be about 10 years older than me. Turns out he grew up in the same town as me, went to the same schools, WOW he even graduated the same year as me. I went home and scared up the old year book and found him in it, and then remembered him. But Holy Crap, I thought, Do I look that old too?

I don't really see the aging process with those close to me that I see all the time. As you implied, it's hard to notice someone aging when you see them everyday. The Other day my husband did day I looked sexier and more beautiful each day..... could be because I just (surprised) bought him a man present.

I don't. I don't have much desire for my SO any more even though she would be considered attractive and sexy by most people. She has little to no interest in sex with me, and it was her lack of interest in me, not her looks, that killed my desire for her.

I would be happier with someone who wasn't an ex-model but who was interested in fun, adventurous, loving sex.

Happiness comes form within yourself. If you think there are outside source that contribute to that, take a looooooong hard look and evaluate it's worth. Life is to short!

[WifeMomSlave]

Hubby and I have been together for 13 years and married almost 11 years. We have fallen into ruts before, but we find a way to climb out (that is how I found this site). The main thing is like everyone else said...you have to keep your relationship a top priority. With work, and kids, and the house, and the 50 other things you have to do in a day you have to make time for the two of you.

Hubby still makes me wet with just a look or a word. Just when I think I could not possibly love him anymore, he will do something or say something and I fall even deeper for him. We talk to each other about everything, and come up with ways to keep things fresh. Over the years your relationship has changed as well as our sex life and for the better. There is something to be said for sex with someone that knows you better than you know yourself and whom you have complete trust in...it is amazing.

So there is my two cents.

[bisexualnewbie]

On 4/21/2009 at 11:07 PM, Amylynn920 said:

4 years now and the sex is hotter than ever. We do all kinds of things to keep it hot, new toys, positions and places. it just keeps getting better and better.

exactly how it's supposed to be, it's such a pleasure to hear about this subject because so many couples sex life starts getting stale, and they figure someone else will make everything better WRONG ,  because the two of you already have the experience of each other's pleasures,so why give up on that, just start being creative