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Cheating.....if You're Gonna Do It.......


Tyger

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OK, please don't take this post as me advocating cheating, because I am NOT. However, all this drama that goes on is really crappy.

Here's what I mean:

This one couple I know cheats on each other back and forth. The guy does it more. Never has promised his long time GF (whom he's had kids with), that he'd ever be faithful. In fact, he's pretty much said that he's a dog, and won't ever change. Gotta give him kuddos for being honest. The girl stays. Has been with him for about 4 yrs now. Hey, you forgive once, I can see that, but if you stay and your SO keeps doing it, well, you kinda ask for the heartache.

I've heard rumors that she's cheated too. Though I have no clue how true it is.

Here is my suggestion! If you're going to cheat, don't be a dumbass!!! Go OUTSIDE your circle of friends, cuz people DO & WILL talk, and things will get back around! Wear condoms. Keep your mouth shut, cuz the drama that insues is just INSANE! If you do feel the need to cheat on your SO for a length of time, or repeatedly, break it off with them. The sooner, the better. It may be hard, but really, how hard is it to deal with the aftermath? Much worse, trust me. Everyone gets miserable, rumors are spread, and usually wrong rumors.

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...parts snipped...

Here is my suggestion! If you're going to cheat, don't be a dumbass!!! Go OUTSIDE your circle of friends, cuz people DO & WILL talk, and things will get back around! Wear condoms. Keep your mouth shut, cuz the drama that insues is just INSANE! If you do feel the need to cheat on your SO for a length of time, or repeatedly, break it off with them. The sooner, the better. It may be hard, but really, how hard is it to deal with the aftermath? Much worse, trust me. Everyone gets miserable, rumors are spread, and usually wrong rumors.

Here's my suggestion! If you're going to cheat, then you're a dumbass!!! Cheaters deserve the aftermath, the misery, the rumors, and everything else. If you don't care about your family and friends, and how it may affect them, then go ahead and cheat, dumbass.

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Here's my suggestion! If you're going to cheat, then you're a dumbass!!! Cheaters deserve the aftermath, the misery, the rumors, and everything else. If you don't care about your family and friends, and how it may affect them, then go ahead and cheat, dumbass.

That's the thing, people don't think before hand. They get all caught up and then suffer the consequences.

If ONLY people would have moments of clarity BEFORE they cheat...

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So, they are not married? Well, there's her sign!

He obviously has no intentions of being faithful to her - and probably not ever gonna marry her either. I am not sure if the real issue is the cheating or the fact that he obviously doesn't want to be with just her....

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I knew there was alot of cheating going on in this country.I had no idea there was as much going on as there is.It seems to be the national passtime now.

Before I met my SO I had been single for awhile.So I joined several online dating sites.Boy!What an eye opener!I couldn't believe all the married women(don't know about the guys as I had no reason to check them out)that were on there,looking for a little side action.Maybe it's just me but I really don't understand all this.What is the big kick out of cheating.You have to deal with all the guilt.Worry if your going to get caught.Worry if you might get her pregnant.Worry if you might loose your house,kids.and friends.To me the rewards(what ever they might be)just doesnt' add up to all the things you have to be concerned about.Not sure I understand all this,but don't really care either.I'm happy!I have a wonderfull woman who satisfies me in every way.AND I DON'T AND NEVER WILL CHEAT ON HER!!!!Just not my thing or way.

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I knew there was alot of cheating going on in this country.I had no idea there was as much going on as there is.It seems to be the national passtime now.

Before I met my SO I had been single for awhile.So I joined several online dating sites.Boy!What an eye opener!I couldn't believe all the married women(don't know about the guys as I had no reason to check them out)that were on there,looking for a little side action....

Trust me, as you would suspect, there are plenty of men doing the same thing. A lot of them tell it straight out - they are married and just looking for action on the side. I am sure the "reasons" are as numerous as the possible side effects but cheating is still cheating.

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It really is crazy. It's all about drama, and it's sad that 2 children were born to trap a guy, but, that's the truth. Since he has a child in another state that he never sees, she knows that it kills him not to be a part of his first child's life, so, she used her ability to get pregnant to keep him at her side for so long, and it's worked.

I keep telling him to USE CONDOMS, every single time, especially with her, and if she asks, tell her that he doesn't want anymore kids. Too bad, so sad. Think with the head on your shoulders, and not the one with the balls under 'em. Too bad if she can't take the truth, but, he's preparing to leave again (so he says, I've told him I'll believe it when I see it), and I have a feeling she'll try and get pregnant again. And, of course, NOT getting it hasn't crossed his mind. If she's willing, so is he. <_<

Again, I'm not advocating cheating, cuz, if you do it, especially on a regular basis, re-evalutating your relationship is really in order!

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That fuckin' bitch. Bringing innocent children into the world just to use as tools for manipulation of others. How can someone like that have normal loving relationships with the children while knowing all along why they were conceived in the first place? What if "Baby Suzie" doesn't do her "job" and daddy leaves anyway? Will she be resented (even subtly) for the rest of her life? You know, we've all heard of this kind of situation before, and it never ceases to amaze me how low and base a person must be to even dream up such a scheme, much less carry it out. It's sad. And to think that alot of these people go to church. It's surprising that they aren't struck by lightning before making it through the front door. We humans sure have a long way to go. Maybe a few more thousand years of evolution is what we need. Then our supposed intelligence will be more removed from the significant chunk of Neanderthal mentality that we obviously have yet to shed. Sigh. For these reasons, and more, I remain.........

SadPuppy

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So, they are not married? Well, there's her sign!

He obviously has no intentions of being faithful to her - and probably not ever gonna marry her either. I am not sure if the real issue is the cheating or the fact that he obviously doesn't want to be with just her....

Agree.....

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I used to think people could change,

but when it comes to cheating,

I think they find the thrill addictive.

IMHO

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Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I used to think people could change,

but when it comes to cheating,

I think they find the thrill addictive.

IMHO

I certainly understand your statement, but I do believe that SOME people can change. Of course I do think that folks who are serial cheaters and constantly do it, have a harder road ahead of them because it becomes a routine of daily life. But I myself I'm an example of someone who cheated on his wife and instead of making me into a serial cheater it has completely changed my attitude towards my wife and ever since I have been faithful. I love her now more than I ever have. It's very strange to say, but in many ways it has reinforced the love that I have for her and it's made me appreciate her so much more than I used to. Believe me I don't take anything for granted anymore. But I do understand that my circumstances might be very different from those experienced by the other folks on the forum. However, it's not an easy thing at all to try and repair your marriage after it's happened and you've come clean to your spouse about everything...that's when the hard work begins. It took many months of discussions and being embarrassingly honest with my wife before she started to feel any better at all. I believe that's why a lot of marriages don't last after cheating has occurred. Because not many people are willing to put in the hard work and perseverance to make it work. And in many cases the trust can never be rebuilt.

For those of you who are married and have been contemplating sex outside of your marriage, my advice is don't do it. Even an online relationship with someone outside your marriage can be very damaging. The pain and suffering that comes after is not worth the little amount of pleasure you get out of it. If the issue is that you are not happy in your marriage, then the best thing to do would be to sit down and discuss it with your SO. Maybe go to therapy together or whatever it is that you feel would help improve your relationship. But trust me that the one and only real regret that I have in my life is ever stepping outside of my marriage.

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Thanks for sharing, it sounds like a difficult time for both of you.

I applaud you for doing the work and making your marriage stronger.

Good advice, D-J.

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