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I think the head shrinker types would say forgiving is not to benefit the other person, but for your own benefit. Your anger or bitterness will tear you apart more than the other person. But I am no head shrinker, and my own experience there is limited. I will add, though, that we just got done planting an elderly in-law who was a pretty good grudge holder. And she freely let those know who she felt had wronged her, and stirred up a whole lot of trouble within the family over some pretty stupid petty stuff. Many eyes at the funeral that should have been among the wettest were instead the driest. Then again, some people seem to thrive on bitterness and grudges; probably why she lived so long.

So my wife has a friend who went to the groinacologist and had to have some test done (something not part of a routine exam) that involved insertion of some device, which was then rotated to check for whatever it was checking for. Between the handsome young man running the test and the rotating motion, the wife's friend had an orgasm. She was mortified at the time, but nonetheless couldn't wait to tell my wife about it, all giggly. Anyhow, inspired by this, while my wife was going for post-doink extra orgasm with her buzzer, I put a finger in with the "come hither" bend to it, but face down, toward the anal area, rotated it slowly up to the G-spot spot, pulled out, and repeated. She responded with a, "What are you DOING, that feels so GOOD." (Good for the ol' ego.) So this is now a regular part of our activities. Just wanted to share.

After 10 years of marriage, my wife revealed that she wanted to do a threesome (had hinted at it over the years but I was too dumb to pick up on it) and is bicurious. Googling "threesome" brought me here. Stuck around due to all the other info available about sex and people's preferences, idiosyncrasies, hopes, dreams, desires. I don't get on here all that often and don't get to read everything, so there is always something new to find. Reading the forum is also a way to veg and unwind a bit.

I did not consider these things. My wife-to-be was 10 years younger, not long out of High School, min wage job, living with her brother and mother in an appartment. I had a steady job, made what I thought was OK dough, always had money for what I wanted (though I didn't go squandering it away like a knucklehead). When we were nearing getting married and wifey's boss was being a jerk, I told her to just quit; felt like my paycheck was more than enough. A few years later, married, 3 kids, mortgage, live-in mother-in-law, wife not always as thrifty as she coulda been, I felt a bit like a pauper. Wouldn't necessarily do things much differently if I had to do it over again, other than maybe try to plan ahead better and try to do better at getting on the same page with wife as far as priorities. But if I were to become single again now for whatever reason, I would be reluctant to get re-married, in part cuz I don't want to get sucked into some other person's financial black hole. But I would not do any credit rating checks on a girl friend. (In reality, I don't think divorce is too likely, so the wife would have to croak for me to become single again, and if that happened, I'd be too busy and broke raising the kids to have any time or money left for dating.)

I was never much interested in one-night-stands, and wanted a steady-honey. If I were dating a girl, especially past several dates, and if she were still seeing someone else, I would no longer be interested in her. I have no interest in sharing. Yeah, well, no one ever explained any of this to me while growing up. So rightly or wrongly, wisely or stupidly, if I had been dating a girl a couple of months and continuing, sleeping over, seeing her most weekends, things seem to be going well, and all that good stuff, I would and did presume [at least I'm pretty smart with that: never assume anything; I PRESUME instead ] that there were no other guys, I was it (at least for the present), etc. Just two cents from one dopey, naive, introverted, socially awkward, dorky guy. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!

That's what I'm thinking. I think a lot of people do this sort of thing, go into defensive mode, even convince themselves they didn't do anything wrong.

Any one have any idea as to what percentage of men and what percentage of women would be OK with and turned on by watching their SOs with another? Is this very rare, or not so uncommon?

How loud? Thanks.

Doggie style plus sticking a finger in my wife's ass. (I'm not very creative on my own, so you might think, "you had to watch porn to think of that?") Doggie on wife while she does oral on another girl; doggie on the other girl while she does oral on my wife.

So, what do you do when Valentine's day is coming, and you have a girl you've only dated a couple of times? (Not my problem now, but with V-day a week away, got me wondering what people do.) Some years ago, V-day was coming, and there was a girl I had only dated a couple of times. I asked a friend, "wuddo I do? Is it to early to do anything? Do a get her some small something? Do I - " "Send her a dozen roses," he says confidently. "Yeah?" I say uncertainly. "Yes! Do you know where she works? Send them to her work, to embarrass her in front of all her co-worker friends." "Are your sure about this?" "Absolutely. Gotta do it." So I did it, had them delivered to her work, and then skipped town for the weekend to go skiing, so she had to wait till the next week to thank me. It seemed to shock and surprise and please her quite well. We continued to date, I fell totally in love over the next several months, then she dumped me. I tried it again with another girl. This time we had started dating in December, so V-day wasn't so early on. Again it seemed to go over pretty well, except the roses died in something like a day and a half. But we kept dating and I ended up marrying that one, and here we still are many moons later.

My thoughts too. While the answer to "is it normal for a non-abusive and nice guy to pressure you?" may be NO, maybe it is YES for "is it normal for a guy who SEEMS non-abusive and nice to pressure you?"

Another topic got me wondering about what people's various thoughts were on whether and when it's OK to date more than one person. From what I recall in that other topic (which was getting kinda lively, and I haven't been on in a couple of weeks and can't find it anymore, so I'm guessing it got deleted; and hopefully I'm not stirring up trouble by posting this; I'm not trying to be a wise guy), opinions seemed to vary from "it's OK to date more than one guy/gal, as long as they knew you were dating others," to "it's OK, even if they don't know, as long as you practice safe sex," to "no, it's not OK." In my wild and crazy swinging bachelor days (eh-hem), I would mostly aim for one girl at a time, even if I hadn't had a date with her yet, and put any other prospects on hold until things with the target girl properly fizzled (the usual outcome ). But that's just what I was comfortable with, not necessarily what everyone else should do. I had a roommate who had been dating a girl for a couple/few months. I don't think he was doinking her, just a lot of various dates out and a lot of slobbery smoochy good night kisses. At some point he learned she had a boyfriend down in Florida, and was pretty livid and bitter about the whole thing. Another friend of mine would date more than one girl at a time (sex included), and the one time I know of that he got busted, he was embarrassed by it, but didn't seem to feel any guilt over it. Of course the girls weren't too happy about it.

I'm leaning toward no. 1) While I might prefer my wife to be more like me in some ways, have more of the same iterests, or have more of the same priorities, it is probably a good thing to have some differences, and part of this is to balance out each other's negatives. 2) I probably have faults I don't even realize because I'm not able to observe me from the outside. 3) I don't date people with beards (facial) and mustaches. ======================== "I am never wrong; once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken." - unknown

I would not pleased to watch my wife with another guy. She, on the other hand, is bi-curious, would like to try girl-girl encounters (has had a couple of touchy-feely ones so far), would like to do a threesome, and says she thinks it would be hot to watch me doink another girl. Can't say that I understand it all, but from what she tells me and what I read here, I see that some people are OK with watching their SOs with someone else. The thought of her with another girl, though, I find quite erotic (even if it's just them; that is, not a threesome with me involved). I guess I don't see another girl being a threat to the marriage, but another guy is a different story.

I can't pick out any one time that I would call "The Best . . . it was AWESOME, Dude!" sex, but generally speaking, the best has been with the Mrs. It was fine and swell in the beginning, then we got into a lull for a while, then things picked up a couple of years ago and I would call it the best ever since, plus slowly getting better and better over that time, trying a new thing or two here, a little variety there, and that sort of thing.

I don't see Depends on the list For me, dull, boring, white briefs. Since my old man wore boxers, I figured it would just be something I switched over to at some point in life, but so far never have. The only couple of times I tried boxers, I hated them. They had a seem that ran up my butt crack, and I don't like things in my butt crack. Maybe a different brand would be better, but I'm happy enough with my dull boring briefs.

Pardon my naïveté, but what is this Lolita dress and Lolita population you speak of? Thanks.

Thinking a little more about this . . . There are times when I haven't doinked or whacked-off in a while, and then when I do, I pop pretty quickly. But then other times under similar circumstances, it will take quite a while. No idea why, it's just the way it is, and it doesn't seem to have anything to do with tiredness or recharge time or any of the other things in my other post.

My wife usually shaves, but shaved, landing strip, or fuzzy is all OK. It's been many years since licking a busy, but I think I'd be fine with it. On me, I shaved once for a vasectomy operation, and hated the feel of it. Since then I leave it alone and the wife hasn't really complained about it.

As a single dope, there wasn't much required. Pretty to some degree, a mutual spark, and enjoying each other's company for whatever reason. Now, if I were to become single due to divorce, I'd probably be bitter and anti-marriage and anti-woman that I'm not sure I'd even want to bother dating any time soon. (of course I'm a dopey guy, so if some pretty girl smiled at me I might forget about all the bitterness.) If I were to become single cuz the wife kicked-off, I'd probably be too busy raising the kids to have time for much dating. If I was able to swing it, I might add some requirements like 1) Not too young, cuz that would limit how much we have in common 2) Has a kid or more of her own, cuz I ain't makin' any new ones, and someone already a mom would better tolerate my brats. (don't know if that's true, but that's the way I'm thinking for now) 3) Likes the great outdoors and doesn't mind hot weather. 4) Isn't desperate for a hubby, to make ends meet or otherwise. 5) No boozaholics or druggies or smokers. 6) Changes toilet paper rolls when they run out.

I agree with SunFlower. Keep looking. Number 1 guy is a lost cause; get over him (yeah, easier said than done, but get over him). The knife cuts both ways. It is not fair to number 2 guy to settle for him when you don't love him. Cut him free. You'd be doing him a favor, as well as yourself. Otherwise I don't believe you would ever be happy, and I think if (or maybe WHEN) some temptation comes along down the road, it would be too easy to slip up, and that would not at all be fair to poor bastard number 2.

Well, we're not the most exciting people on earth, but a couple of things come to mind. The BJ in broad daylight, parked on a side street with houses around, but ducked out of sight below the windows and dash board. Doinking in a tent in New Hampshire with the remnants of Hurricane Opel blowing through, half expecting a tree to fall and squish us at any moment. Doinking in the water at the beach of a local lake, until a couple of other swimmers decided to be more sociable and wandered over. On the screened-in upstairs porch of a rental house at Cape May after dark, wondering of the folks across the street could hear or see anything (I don't think so). In wife's jeep with the top off in a dark office building parking lot late at night, hoping to finish quick and get out of there before any other cars or cops drove up. In a vinyl office-type chair at the house, with my wife slouched down; it kinda hurt her back though ============== I'd like to do it outside my house late at night, but there are just to many lights and potential eyes around. Hmmm, maybe this summer if that house next door isn't sold yet . . . Also (mainly fantasy land here), would like to do it at work on my desk or a conference room table, but if I got busted I could loose my job for that, and it's not worth that.

1) Recharge time. I'm not one of these guys who can pork 6 times a day. While I've done a couple of back-to-backs, mostly I need a good 12-24 hours to recharge, and sometimes 2 or 3 days to get properly horney again. So if the wife is horny and I'm not quite ready, it's not always the best sex. 2) Tiredness. Sometimes I'm horney as hell in the morning and through the day, but by the time I'm done with work and supper and the kids are fed and homeworked and read-to and off to bed and blah blah whatever else, I'm just tired and not much in the mood and just plain sleep looks awfully attractive. 3) Anxiety. Mainly with a newish girl. After 15 years together with the Mrs., not a problem any more. 4) Booze. Again, not a current problem, but it has ever happened. 5) ADD. While I don't think I have real ADD, my mind does bounce around a bunch and sometimes I lose focus.

Clits, and what to do with them. Leave space at the tip of the condom to collect the semen, or else it will run down your pecker, leak out the base, and get where you don't want it to get. Learn to be happy without needing a wife, girlfriend, etc., first. Don't put a girl (or anyone else) on a pedestal; they will surely disappoint. Be a better listener.

What was her response when you asked her to let you go?