Members lost Posted June 20, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 Ok, it's not like I never had sex before but I guess I never cared before.Well, now I do! She goes to washroom right before we have sex. Everytime.She's not on Birth Control Pills.What does she do while in the washroom?If I have to guess ... it will be the "sponge".But I don't feel the "sponge" when we have sex?(I have felt "sponge" before with another girl - asked and confirmed) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 20, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 Many women like to freshen up before sex - clean themselves, wash up - sometimes pee to make sure their bladders are empty. Or, she might use a diaphram and she is putting it in.I would confirm the birth control she is on - you don't want any unexpected babies - other than that, why worry what she is doing in the bathroom - it is her business!Mikayla 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lost Posted June 20, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 why worry what she is doing in the bathroom - it is her business!I guess I am a curious George. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Lost,First off you said you know she is NOT on the pill.....it is important to know what sort of birth control she is on if any......especially if YOU dont wear a condom.......Not saying that you dont know any better but like Mikayla said you dont want any unexpected babies......especially since you are in the stages of working out previous problems.Nothing wrong with being curious about what she does in the bathroom......especially since she does it EVERY time before you have sex.....Why not just ask? Maybe not before you do it but after when you snuggle and talk......Never hurts to ask right? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Lost,First off you said you know she is NOT on the pill.....it is important to know what sort of birth control she is on if any......especially if YOU dont wear a condom.......Not saying that you dont know any better but like Mikayla said you dont want any unexpected babies......especially since you are in the stages of working out previous problems.Nothing wrong with being curious about what she does in the bathroom......especially since she does it EVERY time before you have sex.....Why not just ask? Maybe not before you do it but after when you snuggle and talk......Never hurts to ask right? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Lost,First off you said you know she is NOT on the pill.....it is important to know what sort of birth control she is on if any......especially if YOU dont wear a condom.......Not saying that you dont know any better but like Mikayla said you dont want any unexpected babies......especially since you are in the stages of working out previous problems.Nothing wrong with being curious about what she does in the bathroom......especially since she does it EVERY time before you have sex.....Why not just ask? Maybe not before you do it but after when you snuggle and talk......Never hurts to ask right?I'm assuming this is the same "inconsiderate girlfriend"? Just ask her. I once dated a woman briefly who did something similar but not all the time while in the bathroom before sex. She later told me after we quit going out she was doing cocaine in the bathroom. I've had bad problems with drugs with my 19 yr old daughter and she knew how anti-drug I was, but still did it. Now that I look back on it, I could see why sometimes I couldn't keep up with her while she was on coke. I've learned more about woman sexually in the two yrs I've been divorced than in 23 yrs marriage. We all have our quirky stuff, but the drugs really turned me off!Telecom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 AMEN! If you are not using a condom, and this is the girl who "doesn't feel like" telling you what she does all week while you are calling her - and apparently, she "doesn't feel like" being responsible for her own pregnancy issues (unless she is using a diaphram or the sponge) then I would say, "listen hon, I don't want a baby or an STD - what are we doing about BC, cause if you aren't I am."If she says, "I don't feel like talking about it" and bats those eyes and pouts - I would walk out - but I know you won't - the "love issue" so I would wrap that penis before it goes within 10 feet of her!Protect yourself dude!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lost Posted June 21, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 holly batman! people ... relax little bit.it almost sounds like most of you have had a bad relationship or two! where you got screwed over by SOs. >_>life is a whole lot better when and if we trust others and apply innocent until proven guilty.bottom line, if you are constantly worrying about what your SO is doing behind your back ... it's better to be single.back to the regular programming.yes, I wear condom. ALL the time.even though we have not talked about, it is mutually understood that having a kid is not an option to both of us.we are both young (I am late 20s, she's early 20s), we just want to enjoy life. Have fun. and LOVE in between.no, she's not on birth control pill at the moment.my guess is that she uses diaframe or something.now, what do female do "before" sex? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Ok, first...dude, I am a law student...if anyone is going to tell you that the innocent until proven guilty thing is CRAP, it is me! Here is the deal, we do not know YOU, we do not know HER, all we know is what you have told us on this post and the other. On the other post you have told us that this girl dissappears, doesn't call you, doesn't communicate with you, and when you ask her why, she says, 'Cause I didn't want to' which by your own admission is "childlike."Now, if we take the facts of what is presented to us - we here on the forum (who are not blinded by love for this girl) are going ...WHOA MAN....are you totally MISSING SOMETHING!Then you tell us she goes into the bathroom before sex and you wonder why? Ok, so you are suspicious even of that? Then you say SHE IS NOT ON BC! DUDE, are you out of your blippin' mind? So, we being concerned members of this forum, suggest to you that you should discuss BC with your girl, find out if she is on something, and BY GOD, wear a CONDOM, and you respond that it is US who may have issues with SO?Well, this might be true. Perhaps we are trying to give you the benefit of past experiences like Telecom has. Listen to us...this girl has ISSUES! Whether you stay or go is your business. As far as I am concerned - I just want to make sure you are having safe sex - that is my concern - my only concern really.As for what she is doing in there. I told you, many women like to wash their pussy before sex - makes them feel clean. PErhaps she is doing her hair, putting on lingerie - or doing COKE - I don't know....here is a novel idea...ASK HER...oh, I know...she will say, 'I don't want to tell you"Listen Lost, we like you, we are as concerned about you as people on a sex forum can be - just ask the girl and don't tell us to calm down cause we really are just trying to help out, OK???MikaylaPostscript: You are in your 20's, many of us are in our 30's, 40's and even 50's - do you think we may know some things you DON'T? I think that is why you came here, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Seriously, it sounds like you guys have some pretty big trust issues. If my fiancee was going to the bathroom right before we had sex, everytime we had sex, I would say, hey baby, whatcha doin' in there? If he didn't want to tell me, I'd either respect that, or I'd bug him till he told me, depending on how badly I wanted to know. I will occassionally go the bathroom before I know we're going to have sex to pee so I don't feel any discomfort during sex or feel like I'm gonna pee on him if I come too hard, but it's not an every time thing. Anyway, the definitive answer to this question is that if you want to know so bad, ask her! If you have the kind of open, honest relationship you should have, she won't hesitate to tell you: 'I have to pee. Do you mind?' Or 'I like to freshen up before we're intimate.' Seriously though, just ask. It's the quickest way to get your answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Lost you maybe right on people having bad past relationships etc......but try to learn from others mistakes......Mikayla said it the best......we are not blinded by love for this girl so take into consideration the advice or answers you get good or bad......you may not like all you hear but we can only go by what we know from your posts.As for what she does in the bathroom.....Well again you just have to ask her to know for sure.....If I go into the bathroom before sex I pee and freshen up.......there arent to many things she could really be doing in there....but you dont want to find out like Telecom did that its drugs.Happy SAFE SEX to you both!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 If we don't have all the facts, we make assumptions, which of course, are not always correct. Perhaps, she is using a diaphragm or there is a birth control "film" that is inserted before sex that is a spermacide. I'm not sure how effective it is, but hey, its gotta be better than no protection. I have no faith in condoms....sorry, thats just my opinion. I always was on the pill and used condoms, plus sometimes I'd use a spermacide. Overkill?? perhaps...but I was NOT ready to have kids until I was married. I think you both need to sit down and have some serious heart to heart discussions about everything in your relationship, including birth control. Its not a one-way street. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiskeywoman Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 CL, the VCF is 95 pct effective.I used it AND a condom, ya know what?it didnt work, the condom broke.The baby is 10 weeks old now.Seriously Lost, you and your GF NEED to sit down and have a long heart to heart talk about family planning.what happens if your condom breaks? you may not be ready for a kid, nor may she, but if it happens, reality will smack you in the face with a sledgehammer.trust me, my voice is that of experiance, i have had 5 kids while on various forms of birth control.all it takes is 1 time for a condom to slip, break, or have a pinhole in it.You admit you guys have problems, a baby is not going to make things easier.I know several folks can agree with me here when I say, even a planned pregnancy can put a serious strain on ANY relationship.Have that talk, and if she says, "i dont feel like it" , walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 WOW I came in on this conversation a little late! I have to agree with everyone and their comments. Lost, I have to say that if this is the same girl,then a HUGE talk needs to be put in place. What girls do in the bathroom before sex, well I can tell you first off I try to pee, clean up after a hard day and she also could be inserting some type of birthcontrol. I dont do that since I dont have to worry about it anymore.IF this is the same inconsiderate girl, that you have talked about before, then I have to say ask her and you will prolly get the response of NOTHING!! Hey Lost I dont want to sound like a prude or anything, but I fully agree with the other post here and we dont know you only what you type on the forum here and we have to go off what is written and make the best opions we can, about the situtation I can tell you that everyone here is very helpful and has wonderful advice , but we all can only be as helpful and give the advice as we see it and off the information posted. Okay I am done but hey if your wondering what she does ask, but I think everyone is right on when it comes to this. Take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted June 21, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 CL, the VCF is 95 pct effective.I used it AND a condom, ya know what?it didnt work, the condom broke.The baby is 10 weeks old now.Wow...I didn't know that it was so low. Your luck sounds like my friend's mom.....7 kids, 6 conceived on the pill...lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted June 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yeah, ok, THAT makes me feel good. My fiancee and I are only using birth control. Although he already has two kids, so I know he wouldn't be upset. He would like for us to have a baby because he thinks it would speed everything up, as far as us getting married sooner. He even told me one night that he wouldn't be mad if I quit taking my bc and tried to get pregnant. Course I would never do that. I only mention it because an unplanned pregnancy wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, except for what people would say. That's my only concern. I don't want anyone to think that that's why we got married. I also don't have to worry so much because it's suppossed to be hard for me to get pregnant. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom), so it won't be impossible, but hard. I'm not that worried about getting pregnant, but those odds are pretty amazing. I thought I was pretty secure with bc as my protection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiskeywoman Posted June 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Bondage junkie, I wouldnt be too worried about your method being reliable.I found out from my doctor That i have a slightly higher than normal fertility rate.I have joked with others before that Nappa valley keeps yelling at me cause I am more fertile than their vineyards.I am just lucky I havnt gotten pregnant with triplets so far.I love kids, they are great, the skinny ones are kinda chewy though LOLBut seriously, like I said before, kids are major life changers, and even a wonderfully stable relationship will be strained badly by a child.You also have to take into consideration the sibling rivalry that will happen should you have a baby.His kids may resent the new one, because it takes so much of dads time.You sound like you have a fabulous relationship with your fiancee, I would hate to see it get ruined because a baby caused you two to get married too fast.You are still young, enjoy your time with your fiancee.on a personal note, im being nosy again, are you two planning on a more traditional vanilla wedding? or are you going to have a formal collering ceramony? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted June 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Oh no, it will be traditional 'vanilla' all the way. We aren't really public about our lifestyle. We don't go to clubs or anything like that. Besides both of our families would seriously freak out if we had a bdsm wedding. I'm cracking up just thinking of the shocked expressions on everyone's faces. Hehe. His family inparticular. They are very traditional Christian. Plus, we live in the deep south, soooo the lifestyle isn't exactly celebrated here.As far as the pregnancy, we have talked alot about it. I definitely don't want there to be any issues between the stepkids and any kids we have together. I don't want them to think that we love the new child more than them or anything like that, so we've talked alot about it and how to kinda avoid that. We've talked alot about kids in general, but you're right, I don't want it to rush us into anything, so we are trying to be careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hrnychick Posted June 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yeah, ok, THAT makes me feel good. My fiancee and I are only using birth control. Although he already has two kids, so I know he wouldn't be upset. He would like for us to have a baby because he thinks it would speed everything up, as far as us getting married sooner. He even told me one night that he wouldn't be mad if I quit taking my bc and tried to get pregnant. Course I would never do that. I only mention it because an unplanned pregnancy wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, except for what people would say. That's my only concern. I don't want anyone to think that that's why we got married. I also don't have to worry so much because it's suppossed to be hard for me to get pregnant. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom), so it won't be impossible, but hard. I'm not that worried about getting pregnant, but those odds are pretty amazing. I thought I was pretty secure with bc as my protection.Bondagejunkie,I know you said you will not stop taking your b.c. and please dont just cause your fiance said it may speed up the wedding......You can speed up the wedding WITHOUT a bun in the oven. I would think it would be wise to wait to go off your b.c. AFTER you tie the knot. I just wanted to pass this on to you cause I know a few couples that thought a baby BEFORE marriage would make things great and they would get married sooner.....and guess what engagement broken no marriage......I say take time and enjoy eachother cause even in a married realtionship a new baby changes everything......you want a baby to be a blessing not a burden.hrnychick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ambrelyn Posted June 23, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Absolutely! I'm not 100% ready to be pregnant and have a baby right now. His kids are three and seven, so it's a little different. I'm alot more ready than I used to be, but I'm happy with the way things are now. I will definitely stick with the bc. I've been on it for four years now because of the pcos. Which was a long time before I met my fiancee. Before I was taking the bc I went 2 years with no period at all. So I will stick with it until we are certain we want a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Parpar Posted June 24, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2006 Ahh, 6 kids conceived on the pill? How is that possible? I thought bc pills were like 99.1% effective. I mean I know if you skip a day or take it at different times of the day it can decrease how effective the birth control pills are... but now I'm getting worried! I am currently on bc AND we use condoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiskeywoman Posted June 24, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2006 Most pills are 99 pct effective, there is always a 1 pct chance of pregnancy.Most people dont have to worry about that 1 pct chance, because the pill prevents you from releasing eggs.most women only produce 1 or 2 eggs at most, when the egg is fertilized it travels doen the falopian tube where it attaches to the uterine wall, resulting in pregnancy.I on the other hand produce 2-3 eggs, PER OVARY, I have no idea why , but it just is.Some women are just more fertile than others.Just like some men are more fertile than others.My ex had a sperm count done when he was 45, it came back as 160 pct. compared to the normal 100 pct.Now, couple up a man with a high sperm count, and a woman with a high fertility rate, a faulty condom, and a second method that has a low effective rate, and you have a child waiting to be born.It is a rare occurance that women get pregnant while useing the pill and even rarer still when 2 methods are in place.Just remember to use qood quality laytex condoms with a water based lubricant, like Astroglide or KY. avoid silicone based lubes, because they can break down the condoms effectivness.I wouldnt worry about it too much, so long as your method is working for you, dont stress over it, have fun and enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sam7970 Posted June 25, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2006 I got on the pill because I was told that I have polycystic ovarian syndrom and other than causing havoc to my body it didn't do much for me. I got pregnant twice. Don't put all of your trust on one form of birth control or any combination of birth control for that matter. Remember, nothing is ever 100% effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiskeywoman Posted June 25, 2006 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2006 Your right Sam, NOTHING is 100 pct effective aside from abstinence.I have chosen a more permanent form of birth control, sterilization.Depending on the newest batch of tests will tell me if I will be getting a tubal or a hysterectomy.I know a couple who have BOTH been sterilized, and they have had no children nor any false alarms since the procedures have been done.I told the doctor to take out 6 inches of tube, he told me I don't have that much, I looked at him and said "stretch it to make 6 inches" LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 16, 2023 Report Share Posted January 16, 2023 This is a great topic/read as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.