How Do You Make Time For Your So?

[Tyger]

It's hard for us to have any "us" time, since we have very very few reliable babysitters here, and not a lot of money to do much. But, we do try, though I do know we need to do more!!! Usually, our alone time is after our daughter goes to bed. I will say, that when my hubby is on his week of work, we do have some great phone conversations though.

I do try and be a bit more understanding when he wants to do most everything as a family. He has a 10 yr old daughter from a previous marriage, that lives very very very far from us, so we don't get to see her at all. In the 5 yrs we've been together, we've seen her 3 times! So, I know he wants to spend as much time with our daughter as he can. Which, is, a good thing any way you look at it.

What are some of your ways to make each other feel special by making time for them?

[whiskeywoman]

Tyger,

I have read this several times and mulled it over.

The last response was very well thought out and must've been very appealing, because the wonderful thing we know called cyberspace ate the damn thing LOL

Anyways, I am pretty close to being in the same boat.

My partner and I have 7 kids between us, and they live with us full time.

We have pretty much quit trying to make "alone time"

When you have kids, it is damn near impossible.

HOWEVER.... we make the most of the time we do have together.

We take the kids to the park,and spend time catching up, continuing to get to know each other and in general enjoy some much needed down time.

We stay in touch with phone calls, emails and cards.

there are other things we do, take for example my favorite.

I recieved a package in the mail, I opened it and found a black G string and a small card that said 3 words "wear this tonight"

Well, I found a whole new dimension of foreplay when that little G string was taken off using just a tongue.

Neither one of us is "normal" in any sense,

I have recieved a pizza with the pepperoni in the shape of a heart,

I have recieved a singing telegram, wich I had to send away because it was very busy and the lyrics were, well, lets just say they were VERY explicit.

I have recieved a boquet of panty flowers, you know, panties rolled up to look like roses.

Mainly things to let me know I am being thought of during the time we are apart.

Sometimes we send the kids to sleepovers, or, we have a sleepover at my house.

The girls are so busy gabbing and gossiping that they don't even notice we are gone.

Occasionally one of the girls will go to her Aunties house for the night, they get to play with their cousin and horse around on the trampoline.

I usually do something special for the other 2, like make popcorn and watch a favorite movie with them.

They are so engrossed with the movie, they won't pay attention to what is going on behind them on the couch.

We usually cuddle up together under a big thick blanket.

There is nothing more exciting than a bit of light foreplay.

keep the mind excited, you will find ways to make the most of what time you do have together, after all, isn't that one of the most important things?

[WifeMomSlave]

I hear ya Tyger...we have 3 kids, and no money it is hard to make time to spend with each other. Usually we spend time togeather after he gets off work at 11...but then I pay for it the next day because I have to get up early to get the kids off to school. other times I wake him up before our youngest gets back from half day pre school, as you can see we have small windows of opertunity...and next week he goes to 1st shift and the windows will shrink again. we do have a sitter...but can only aford to go out once a month if we are lucky. We write notes back and forth a lot...and phone sex during his breaks at work is nice. and when time is really short I give him a quick blow job....its fun for me because sometimes I like to see how quick I can make him come! we just pretty much sneak in a little something when we can, even if its just a few words or a touch or two untill we have time to really be alone.

Whiskey, I absolutly love how your hubby sends you stuff in the mail! I have been tryig to think of a creative way to introduce toys that hubby isnt compleatly on board with...I think this could work...cant hurt!

[vtnympho]

I wish I lived near you. I'm always looking for babysitting jobs

I can't give you much advice as a youngin with no kids and probably more time to spend with my boyfriend than I'll ever have after this year. I did, however, just want to comment to say that it's nice to see parents who are committed to spending time with their children even if it means making sacrifices. I can't tell you how many parents I have recently babysat for, worked for, etc. who spend far too little time with their children to make time for each other. I'm not saying it isn't nice for couples to have alone time every now and then, but it's nice to have family time too. Definitely find time for each other whenever you can, even if it means taking your daughter to the park as someone else mentioned. Playdates for your child might be another way to have alone time without reliable babysitters or neglecting your child. Maybe try to find other parents in your situation who would be willing to watch your daughter for a couple hours, and you can return the favor later. That way you don't have to fork over any cash, you know the person has experience with children, and your child won't feel like they are being left behind!

[Tyger]

Whisky is a LUCKY woman!!

My husband and I talk on the phone almost everyday that he's gone. If not a long conversation, but still to touch base with me. And he calls right after he walks out the door from his shift. It makes me feel good knowing I'm his first thought as he walks out the door. We always say I Love You and Miss You to each other too.

When I had to put my horse down, he took the time, the next day, to call and make sure I was OK, and comforted me as best he could via phonelines. My hubby isn't the most sensitive guy on the planet, but I thought that was a great thing for him to do. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised by the gesture.

vtnympho, I would LOVE to have a Mommy Swap Day, but where I live, it's an old retirement community, slowly getting younger people in here, there aren't that many mothers around. And the ones that ARE, well, let's just say, I would't trust my DOG to them. I think this week though, I am going to try and get a couple of hours for myself, while hubby is home. Almost a month straight with NO break from the kiddo is getting on my nerves!!

Tonight, I tried talking with hubby a little bit. He went to bed early (9 pm), since his body is still on work time, and he works 12+hour shifts, he's beat. He'll recoup in a couple days. We even plan on going to the Texas Renassance Festival (I KNOW I spelled that wrong!!) this weekend after he gets paid.

I don't mind being alone that much. Not as much as I am, but I function and take care of our daughter just fine. I love spending time with her, teaching her, and playing with her, and also giving her the space she needs to learn to entertain herself. She has a great imagination, and can count up to 5 with the use of blocks, and 12 with a little help~since she likes to skip 4,5,6!

I get lonely, but that's why I have a phone, books, stamps (yes I write letters), and internet!!

I will agree though. I've seen a lot of parents that go out all the time, leaving their kids with a sitter after school, and then when they get home, time enough to pop in a microwave meal, and rush out again. I have to have some ME time, and would love some couple time. At night, I get some ME time. And when hubby is rested, we'll have some couple time.

[Tyger]

The whole CRS thing, I TOTALLY get!!! I had a GREAT memory before I became pregnant with our daughter. I think she took my memory.......

[trina2008]

There are many ways we try to make couple time and family time into one. Like tonight we went to a parade as a family and my hb told me we shoudl run behind a tree to have sex. He thoughts were nobody is looking they are looking at the parade, they will never know we are gone. Ha Ha!!

I of course told him he is crazy, but just the thought that no matter what time of day or night or what we are doing he is always wanting me and needing me. That is why I love him so much. Family time is just as important to both of us and it just makes me love him more when I see how he is with the kids. He is really is a good guy.

We don't really have the money for a sitter so we usually ask his sister to watch the kids for a few hours, but even lately that hasn't happened. We are so busy with sports for the kids and me working crazy hours we try to find even a little time for each other. Right now it has been Early Sunday mornings, we jump in the shower together before the kids get up. I treasure our Sundays, because it is just us and we have learned to set the alarm just for couple time and family time comes when they wake up.

[WifeMomSlave]

I had to laugh when I read your reply Howard. Yesterday My older 2 were in school and the 4 yo was watching TV so me and hubby went to our room for so I could send hubby to work with a smile .

Well when we came out of our room she wanted to know why we were in our room with the door locked ( yes she tried to come in) So I told her I had to help daddy with something. Thankfully she did not ask what!

[clewing]

I remember the days, and mentioned the locked bedroom door in another post earlier today. We often "took naps" with the bedroom door locked when the kids were little, and took many a shower together, too, especially on our return from Italy and we were sharing a guest house room with our kids for a month! But our time was often in the middle of the night. One of us would wake up and wake the other one up in "the best way." That way, your husband is not giving up any of the family time he desires (and that is wonderful that he wants to have that--mine was like that, too). Some nights it would be quickies, but others times we'd feel sleep deprived the next morning. But it was worth it! And many nights he'd wake me up when he came home from work (he was an MP) if he was working mid-shift.

Now we have to lock the bedroom door to keep the dogs out (one of them knows how to hit it just right to make it pop open if it is not locked). Never fails, just like with the kids, when things are heating up, it's usually when the dogs make their attempts to get us to open the door.

[torrentwaters]

I know this is an old post but it really spoke to me. First off I have to say that I'm rather envious, but more on that later. In our little family I work and my hubby's a stay at home dad. At my last job I would call home on lunch to just say hi, but at my current one I can't. Well I can when I have my cell phone but we can't really afford cards for it at the moment. We don't even have prospects for a babysitter other than relatives and they live so far away it only happens on rare occasions. As to alone time, we used to make time, by either waiting till the kid went to bed or getting up super early. That wasn't a big deal, because I get up to work on my writing in the mornings. I'm an aspiring writer. Lately though we haven't been doing either. Now as to why I'm envious, my hubby used to do little things for me, but not so much anymore. Actually the best I can hope for is a candy bar when he goes to the store. As to putting on a movie for the kid, no luck there she's three and I really don't feel comfortable leaving her alone since it's never just a few minutes. Although I'm actually hoping if I try to put more spice in our life we'll get back to making more time to be alone. So if any one has any suggestions as to how I can remedy this I'm all ears.

[torrentwaters]

Actually we've had this discussion more than once and he says he's fine with our situation. I honestly think, stress from taking care of our daughter, money problems, and just finding time is our problem. As for our daughter sitting in front of the TV for 30 mins or so it's completely out, she is extremely hyper and I can't even go to powder my nose without her. You're probably right about discipline but since I'm working it's hard to be the disciplinarian in the house if he lets her run wild when I'm at work. It's one of those things where you have to be a united front, and we're really not united. It more like wait till your mother gets home.

[torrentwaters]

Actually we've had this discussion more than once and he says he's fine with our situation. I honestly think, stress from taking care of our daughter, money problems, and just finding time is our problem. As for our daughter sitting in front of the TV for 30 mins or so it's completely out, she is extremely hyper and I can't even go to powder my nose without her. You're probably right about discipline but since I'm working it's hard to be the disciplinarian in the house if he lets her run wild when I'm at work. It's one of those things where you have to be a united front, and we're really not united. It more like wait till your mother gets home.

[torrentwaters]

I'll discuss it with him.