Sex Sans Condoms

[Mikayla1]

Recently, in a post about a DVD where the actors used NO CONDOMS during sex - vaginal or anal - I responded that I am so surprised by this. Before I was married, 11 years ago, I would have NEVER had sex with a new partner without a condom! This was the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, and I still just didn't want to get an STD. When I met my hubby, we had the tests and all that to be sure!

Nowadays, when young people pirate porn off the internet and see this - I am grately worried that these young men and women are thinking "if PORN stars do not use condoms, why should I?" Let's face it, men have historically had problems using the "love glove" - and AIDS was a deterrent. Why isn't it anymore?

I am curious, for you singles out there, would YOU have sex without a condom - new partner, no testing or anything?

Thanks!

[Tyger]

Well, I am NOT single, but when I was, I did use condoms. The ONE time that it slipped off, I, someone that hasn't had that many sexual partners, practice safe sex, and am thought of as a responsible adult, got an incurable (but not fatal) STD called genital herpes.

If I were to become single again, I would use condoms, for my partner's health, as well as my own. Having an STD, I am now more suseptable to more diseases and issues. Plus, in most states, I am LEGALLY obligated to disclose BEFORE having intercourse, of my status.

I am glad that newer porn includes condom usage, and even some companies, such as Vivid, has it's own line of condoms, that they have Jenna Jameson "plug" (no pun intended) for them at the end of each film.

Some kids get into their parents porn collection, and others take porn as a source of sex ed, so if they see porn stars using them, maybe that will instill something good in them as well.

[luvhim93]

you know i had to sit back and think.."what did i do?"

i did not have many partners...but the ones i did have, i want to say it was 50-50...now mind you...i have been with my Dh since i was 18 (32 now)....i got PG right away....as we did not use a condom......

i am actually disappointed in myself...that i can't say for 100% i had always use a condom.....

it would be a need now if i was to become single.......

[learningeveryday]

Condoms would be an absolute MUST if/when I have a sexual relationship. Recently my doctor thought I had genital herpes. Having been celibate for over a year, that was quite frightening. Definitely made me think!

[Mike_d]

I have a good friend who had a herpes scare, but only after someone else filled him in! The girl was on a break with her SO and fooled around with my pal, I knew she had Genital Herpes (she confessed it to me out of the blue for some reason), but he didn't. After he told me about the romp, I ask if he was covered and he said no, and ask if he should have been! I know there are no dumb questions, but that answer should have been obvious! They had messed around a few times and he came away clean, but he is much more alert and always keeps protection at home and in the car. It stinks that he had to go through something like that before he woke up to the reality of STD's and partners who don't tell you about them.

[learningeveryday]

Too true. I actually would have been infected by my second husband, if that had turned out to be the case. What we do in our youth CAN come back to haunt you!!!

[*Mikayla's~Man*]

Back in the day before I met Mikayla, sex for me ALWAYS included a condom! I came from a podunk little town, where the girls barely gave it out, but when you were lucky enough to score, you had to wrap it, gel it, withdraw and she was probably on the pill too! This was before AIDS (or just at the beginning) but it was more for the fear of her Daddy taking a shotgun to your balls!

~MM

[nosleepnmesa]

Well I am not single, but when I sit back to and think about when I was younger, you know we used a condom. You know though when I saw that review I kinda started going threw the porns that I own and none of them used a condom, although I will admit some of them are a little old. I would say yes it worries me to some degree since this day in age there is SOOOO many diseases out there.

One of my step-sisters, she was we will say not so careful a few years ago, and she got genital herpes, now she didn't tell her newest partner and guess what now he has them. This is a very sad situtation, then just to make him marry her she decided to stop taking her birth control and got pregnant even though he was using a condom after the whole herpes thing. Anyway this is a long story with an ending that is just sooo disturbing the things that she did intentionally it makes me grrr to think about it.

I think though that if the parents do their job as parents and talk to their young teens etc.. about sex and the safety of it, along with all the diseases that even though porn movies arent using condoms that the younger people will still be smart enough to know that safety and protection need to come first. Now to play the other side though, I feel that alot of our younger people if they didn't grow up in a house where they could talk openly with their parents and their parents didn't talk openly with them, there may be a problem since now they are left to porn, friends ect....

Okay I am just rambling now. LOL but if I were single again you couldn't pay me enough money to not use protection!!

LOL Mikayla's Man that sounds just like my father and reminds me of a time when I brought a boyfriend home to meet my dad I was older but still and he was cleaning his gun, and said to him let me blow your balls off and if my daughter still loves you then you can keep her. He was kidding I think since well my boyfriend left in one piece and with balls intact. LOL

[Tyger]

What's even more scary, is that you may not find out you have an STD until much later on, after exposure!! Herpes has been known, in rare cases, to lay dormant for up to 25 yrs before showing symptoms. Usually, the wait time is anywhere from immediate to 8 yrs! Imagine, 5 yrs from now, and you find the perfect partner, then BAM! You have this, and have to explain it! Not to mention the health issues that can arise from STDs. I had mine show up in about 5 months after exposure, and it came out due to a huge stressful event. And the first OB is NOT fun! Very much pain!!

HIV/AIDS can take almost 10 years to show up sometimes. Genital warts can also take some time.

So, no, I don't think it's worth a small romp to go without a condom!! Even then, condoms aren't 100%, but something is better than nothing!!

[AllisonWonderland]

Let's not forget that HPV (a curable STD with a vaccine available) can cause cervical CANCER! I'll admit, I have had unprotected sex before on a few occasions. I know that once is all it takes, but I was lucky *knock on wood*.

I really hope that if I have children, they don't ever try to go without a condom. I would hate for them to suffer the consequences! I think condoms being used in films is a great idea. It's true... many teens get their sex ed from adult videos, so showing them the smart way and reinforcing what their parents and teachers are saying will hopefully make it sink in.

[Valntyn]

Prior to being married, and even a few years into our pre-married relationship, I always, always used both birth control pills and condoms. With so many things that can happen, it just wasn't worth the risk to act otherwise!

And Howard: Nope!! When we used to use them, my husband loooved to have me put them on him. I was never very good at it, though, admittedly. *laugh* Fortunately, we stopped using them, so I didn't have to improve!

[Tyger]

Well, as far as putting condoms on, I'm good at it, but hubby confessed to me once that a previous lover of his accidently snapped the rim of the condom on his penis while putting it on (guess she didn't know about ROLLING it on!) so he's a bit (OK, A LOT) nervous when I try to put a condom on him, so he just does it. Better that way, then his grimace of fear on his face!!

[theshyone]

I am curious, for you singles out there, would YOU have sex without a condom - new partner, no testing or anything?

Thanks!

I am not single but I learned the hardway that you don't have unprotected sex. I did when I was young and stupid and wound up with an std. This was untreated for a long time and eventually rendered me sterile. I was lucky enough to be able to adopt my son two and half years ago. But the abilty to have children is forever gone and I have spent many sleepless and tear stained nights over the foolishness of my youth.

It's not worth no matter what your partner may say or how he complains that a condom ruins the experience. To have sex without a condom could very well ruin your life.

The Shy one

[whiskeywoman]

When I had my daughter, I had to go to job seeking classes.

One day the health department came by, to discuss safe sex and to find out how much we knew about statistics and such.

I was shocked to find out that not only is the county I live in one of the Poorest counties in Michigan, but we also have the highest number of AIDS cases, the highest ammount of single moms and the highest number of teenage mothers and one of the highest numbers of unemployment, Evidently since no one works, they kill time by having sex.

What is even scarier were the attitudes of the people there.

"No I won't get it, I can't, I am too particular about whom I sleep with"

"I can't get it, I am immune to it"

"I can't get it, all my partners are healthy and STD free, I can tell just by looking at them"

One lady actually said "If I ever get it, I don't want to know"

I think a lot of it stems from sheer ignorance, todays young people just are not aware of exactly ow much they are really at risk.

Back in the day when AIDS was first introduced to the world, there were enough PSA's and information out there that could choke an elephant.

Nowdays the PSA's are gone, and people just dont know, they think they know everything.

In this day and age of the new "Super AIDS" virus, I can't afford to take chances, neither can anyone else, but, it is a choice we all must make for ourselves, And I agree, the porn industry is a huge part in it.

Not too long ago there was yet another AIDS epidemic amongst porn stars that threatened to put them out of buisness, all because they did not wear condoms.

I am a single person, and I would NEVER DREAM of having unprotected sex.

Hell, I knew my last partner for 6 years, and I insisted on using dental dams throughout the entire tryst.

I will admit, it kinda took away from the fun, but, better safe than sorry huh?

[krisleightate]

Condoms are a must. Always. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!!!!

[XXXTherapist]

Hi everyone. I've been a lurker until now but wanted to chime in and say that Herpes is not necessarily preventable by using a condom... the virus is contained in skin cells and when it is active it is the skin cells in the area that can transmit it depending on where the outbreak occurs (ex. inner thigh) not necessarily mucous membranes or fluid. You can also be contagious in the absence of open sores. Hope this info is helpful... The more informed you are the better!

[cdwaldorf]

I think most people tend to have this "it is never going to happen to me" complex. When I was younger (at one point) we all think that we are invisable. STD's, AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies are issues that happen to other people. I am suprised that I made it out of my teens without any of these issues.

For the porn issue I honestly believe that there is no self control (that seems like a ironic statement) and they are so wrapped up in the moment that they loose all ability to think rationally. That is just my opinion.

[roni]

I MYSELF JUST DID SOMETHING DUMB..... ME EX AND I WERE APART FOR OVER FOR 7 MONTHS AND WE WERE TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE TWO KIDS TOGHTHER AND WELL WE ENDED HAVING SEX.....WE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM, MY CHOICE CAUSE I HATE THE WAY THEY FEEL.. WELL I FOUND OUT HE HAD SEX TWICE WITH SOMEONE WHO LETS JUST SAY GETS AROUND..HE SWEARS HE USED ONE ON HER AND THAT HE DOUBLE WRAPPED....DOES THAT WORK?

I HAD A PAP AND PELVIS RIGHT AWAY AND TOLD MY DOC THAT I HAD UNPROCTED SEX SO HE WOULD DO ALL THE TESTS THAT WAS NEEDED. ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS NOW AND I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING BACK BUT I'M STILL WORRIED..AND A DUMB QUESTION. I GAVE HIM ORAL SEX. WHAT SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT WITH THAT??

[Tyger]

I don't think I've ever even seen a guy "double wrap" his dick with condoms. Guys usually joke about that "Oh, if I was with her, I'd definitely double-wrap my dick!!" kind of thing. If he felt the need to double wrap, then he should've re-thought the whole sleeping with that person thing out. I'm not saying he's lying, I would say that he's more likely to be exaggerating.

I have herpes (genital), and I got it with the use of condoms. Herpes can also be transmitted even where there are no sores present, but active herpes cells around the genitals, which is what happened to me. There is NO cure for herpes. There are treatment plans available, but, you're stuck with it the rest of your life. You can get genital herpes in your mouth, which would cause you to have severe cold sores and lessions in and around your mouth.

Herpes doesn't have a particular "Test" that can be done to find out if you have it, until the virus is active, and you've had your first outbreak, then a scraping (owie) of one of the sores is taken and tested, because somethings herpes is misdiagnoses as something else. They're working on it though. And, up to 62% of people that have herpes, don't even recognize their symptoms enough to recognize it!!!

Many STDs, including Herpes, is harder for a female to detect once they have something, because their genitals are inside. Men's are right out there, and they can usually see what's going on better. Also, some STDs take some time to develop into something that you can actually see/smell/feel. I do know that herpes can lay dormant in your system (it settles in your spinal fluid) for up to 10 years before becoming active! Some people are even just carriers, and don't have any idea that they actually have it, but do shed the herpes cells, and infect others (it's called Shedding).

*gotten from a website that I frequent* :

Herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1).

Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2).

They can occur separately or can infect the same individual. Although the general rule has been to assume that HSV-1 infections occur in the oral cavity and are not sexually transmitted, while HSV-2 attacks the genital area and is sexually transmitted, it is now widely accepted that either type can be found in either area and at other sites. In fact, in new cases of genital herpes the number of HSV-1 cases now matches and even exceeds that of HSV-2. For purposes of this report, HSV-2 refers to genital herpes and HSV-1 to oral herpes, unless the distinctions are specifically discussed.

I can give you the link in a PM if you want more info. There are also other STDs listed on that site. Scary, but better to know what's out there!

[roni]

thanks tyger, yes he should have thought twice but of corse he wasn't thinking. she was an easy lay and thats all he cared about at the time.. but i did call my docs office and they said they sent the results in the mail yesterday and they came back negative:).

but as i can see from all the posts that i'm not in the clear all the way:(

but i want to thank all who have helped me through this..YOU ARE ALL SO GGGGGGGRRRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love this site

[Natalie]

no, I most certainly wouldn't!