Toys And Teens

[Kinky Twinkie]

I can't believe this, my neise who is 14 went to her dad and mom and requested a vibrator. Her dad obviously didn't want to discuss it but her mom thought it was a great idea so I come to find out they ordered her one. Now for two people so conservative, I have to wonder if my sister in law even knows what a vibrator is for. My brother does and we know it not just for relaxing sore muscles.

Maybe I the prude her but a 14 year old who is still a virgin( as far as I know) and a vibrator is not the best combo at this time in life. I would hate for her to lose her virginity to a vib

What do ya'll think

Glenn

[Tyger]

There are several debates all over this board, regarding sex toys and virgins.

IMHO, a 14 yr old girl should NOT have a vibrator. That's just too soon! There's a reason for people having to be 18 when you go into a store. I'm sure her mother is well aware of what they're for, and chooses to not really think about it. Or, she may think that if her daughter uses a vibrator, she won't go out and have sex.

Where I will conceed that children masturbate, I find it inappropriate for a CHILD to have a sex toy. That's just me though.

[Mike_d]

I am with Tyger, that is just too young. I am curious as to if they are breaking any laws by purchasing one for her. You have to be 18 to enter a store to purchase one like cigarettes right? I doubt they are as highly regualted as tobacco, but the same principle is in effect right?

[nosleepnmesa]

I am mixed on this subject. As most ppl that know me on this board, I have a very "OPEN DOOR" Policy in my house. We talk about sex, in fact my teenager has Playboy mags that I have bought the subdcribtion to. My daughter is going to be 11yrs old in August and yes we have had the sex talk. No just the basic "sex talk" but a full blown one. One thing that I think alot of ppl need to reliaze is that kids are having sex younger and younger it seems like every year. I mean I know it was just on the news here again about a 9yr old being pregnant. I think to myself WOW 9, did the parents not teach her anything???

As far as toys are concearned though I honestly believe that it all depends one on the situtation or circumstances on why she wants the vibrator. Second off it also depends on the type of talks she has had with her parents regarding sex. If she is still a vigin then in my eyes I honestly don't think that a toy that penatrates would be good for her at all. I guess as a parent myself if my daughter came to me at that age and asked for a vibe. I would sit her down and we would have a good heart to heart. I would also know though if she was a virgin or not at that point. Like I said, I have an open door policy in my house. All of my children are aware of it and are not shy to express their opinions or feelings on sex. For exsample my teen came to me a couple yrs ago and said he was going to have sex with his girlfriend. Well we talked and of course as a parent I knew that if this is something he was going to do he would do it with or without my permission. So after our long heart to heart I went to the store and we bought condoms for him.

I can't with this topic agree or disagree with it! Since I don't know the background and the relationship she has with her parents and how much they have honestly talked about sex. Whether she is a virgin or not etc... I don't believe that if she truely is a virgin that a vib is okay for her., maybe a bullet instead. I have mixed feelings on this issue, I would need to know alot more information to honestly form an opion. Now to be perfectly honest if my daughter came to me one day and said,"Mom I am interested in a toy." we would have a long heart to heart there wouldn't be to many questions since I have the faith and trust in my children to come to me, there would be a few and we would discuss them. I also know alot about my daughter and her life. I know that she will come to me and tell me when she feels like having sex etc....Would I buy my daughter a vibrator I honestly can't answer that question it would all depend on the circumstances and our talk that we would have.

[Mikayla1]

I am with Tyger, that is just too young. I am curious as to if they are breaking any laws by purchasing one for her. You have to be 18 to enter a store to purchase one like cigarettes right? I doubt they are as highly regualted as tobacco, but the same principle is in effect right?

I think it is about the same concept as getting parental consent for a tatoo - you can do that at practically any age if the parents say OK. For buying the vibe - no one will know it is for her - so they would not get "caught" - and, I am very sure there are people buying more inappopriate things online for their kids.

I do NOT think this girl is old enough for a vibrator - but then again, if she has already had sex........I wouldn't as a parent buy my daughter a vibe at that age - maybe 16...

I just finished an article on sex, virginity, toys and morals - it should be posted soon. I think it will be very enlightening.....

[jesso]

Wow people coming from alot of directions here.

Katprr's comments are just about spot on with what I think. It's a very mixed reaction.

While not knowing the extent of the situation, it's hard to interpret what is appropriate for this particular girl. But, kids and yes I do say kids, are having sex at a much earlier age. What was common for ages 14-16 five years ago is common for ages 10-13 now. You can thank Brittany and Paris for that lovely endeavor. However, I do think that whether you expose them to it or their friends or their parent friends, it's going to happen. And I would hope to have some control over the situation then be in the dark all together. While a penetrating vibrator may not be appropriate, maybe a clit stimulator is. Masturbation is inevitable in teens.

Something else to think about: What is everyone's views on the heated debate of sex education and handing out condoms in school? What happens when we restrict sex education in schools?

[Tyger]

Where I have always been a supporter of sex ed, and talking to your kids about sex, I still STRONGLY agree that any child under the age of 16 is waaaaaaaaaaaay too young to fully appreciate the responsibilities of having sex, including using a sex toy.

Is it ok to allow a child to go buy beer too? How about smoking/buying cigarettes. Yes, years and years ago, both were ok to do, laws weren't put into place to protect the children. NOW there are laws to protect children. We have learned things about the dangers of smoking, alcohol, driving, and, yes, even voting!! And, it's even if-y if 18 year olds are responsible enough to handle the things that come their way, let alone a 14 yr old girl.

Howard, again, in NO way am I insulting your personal choice of not having children, so please don't think I am disrespecting you when I say this, but you truly DO have to be a parent to understand how this is. Yes, you can learn from people/friends that have kids. But, there is a HUGE difference. I know I use to get highly insulted when a few of my motherly friends said this to me, but NOW that I have a child (and a step-daughter), I truly UNDERSTAND what/why they were saying.

Children are creatures of The NOW. What feels good (masturabation....hmmmm), what entertains them, what's fun RIGHT NOW. Most kids, and some young adults that I have met, have a hard time or no clue how to think ahead to the consequences for their actions! As far as The Computer Generation goes. What's cool to look up on the internet isn't usually educational for young people. People learn to do such things gradually. It's fun to LOOK at nakid pics of people, not really COOL to LEARN about sex!!

YES, be open and honest with kids if they have questions (age appropriate answers of course).

YES have the SEX TALK when your kids seem old enough to be able to understand what you are saying. Some kids mature faster than others, emotionally & mentally. It's up to the parents to decide to have the detailed conversation with their kids. I believe sex ed should teach kids the mechanics, as well as the reprocussions of having sex (pregnancies, STDs, overall health issues).

YES, encourage safe sex practices. This comes a hard line though. Teaching them about safe sex, without coming across that you are giving them PERMISSION to have sex.

YES, don't turn a blind eye to possible sexual activity when it comes to your kids. Be aware of what your children are doing, and whom they are doing it with.

ALWAYS remember, that YOU are their parent, NOT their friend. That comes later in life. SOOO many parents I've seen try to be more "friends" than parental, authoritative with their kids. Those kids don't respect their parents, and they may think their parents are "cool", but they tend to take advantage of their parents (and who wouldn't), and get into more trouble.

Once a child reaching their majority, and you know you have done the best you can with them, being a parent can then be mixed with moments of friendship. A child will always need to feel like they can count on their parents to help and guide them.

Teaching morality, responsibility, and understanding is a hard job. Doing so with your kids is one of the most challenging things a parent will ever have to do.

Understanding that teaching your kids how to be responsible, and, teaching them age-appropriate lessons is very important. Being a role model, teacher, guardian, and authority figure as a parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding things one will ever choose to do.

[Mike_d]

I think the point was missed here, it's not about intelligence and education, but about responsibility. We do not let kids that are 14 drive a car, drink alcohol, or smoke, or BUY SEX TOYS! Regardless of how intelligent someone is does not mean they are ready for the obligations that come along with taking part in certain things. can a 14 y/o handle alcohol? Would you let them mix alcohol with the guns you hand them? No, of course not. And sex does require maturity, it's the power of creation. Making life, something that has every right to live and breathe. I don't know a 14 year old alive that can deal with that and be just peachy. I was 14 much more recently than you Howard and I remember it quite well. I wanted gratification, and responsibility meant little to me or my friends. If doing it solo was good, doing it with a partner was a million times better. I believe in education and being upfront, but in no way giving them a green light in to test the plumbing as it were.

[Kinky Twinkie]

There some good points here, I remember as a kid going to the mall where we have a shop called Spencers Gifts. It still around last time I was there, not sure if it in relation to the catalog that sales odds and ends that you would use around the house hold by the same name. This was where we used to buy black lights, posters, have t-shirts with custom made logos and iron ons, and of course gag gifts, adult games and novelties. I not sure if there was a age restriction on vibs but I think anyone could buy the darn things. I thought one of the most interesting things I ever saw there was a sperm bank, it was a piggy bank that looked like a sperm.

Now days it might be different but personal massagers are available at walgreens and no signs say you have to be of certain age. I think she wanted one because it the in thing with her friends. As I look at her myspace page I have to think she more then growing up fast. I concerned about alot of what I see on the myspace so I can't say asking for this is that much of a shock.

Brittany and Paris might be the leaders of today in terms of role models there kids are following, I not sure what they do is worse then Maddona but we didn't rush out and all start buying bondage gear and stuff like that or at least I didn't.

Although my son be 3 months this coming week, I guess I should start thinking about what I will have to deal with and how to handle it so I prepared when the big day comes

Glenn

[Tyger]

OMG!! Glenn!! I LOVE Spencers!! And I had the blue spermy keychain!! LMAO!! In fact, I got my REAL Lava Lamp there a few weeks ago!

I think so long as the packaging doesn't have the words "vagina, anal, or sexual aide" there is no age limit. Hence the popular term "personal massager".

[Mike_d]

It was not a personal attack howard, but if you see it that way, fine. I am saying that by giving adolecents vibrators and advocating they masturbate and self gratify, you are pretty much setting them up for intercourse. It's like letting them sit in a car in the driveway and rev the engine, teasing them with what it would be like to take it on the road and low and behold, you go away for the weekend and they wreck the car.

If I had wanted to attack you Howard, believe me, I would have.

[Mikayla1]

Oh man, this is gonna get ugly again, I can tell!

Here is the long and short of it:

What this particular girl's parents do - is their business. No one knows THEIR child better than THE PARENTS. Granted, we may not know everytihng about what our children do - especially the older they get - but most parents have a basic understanding of our child's morals, limits and such. If these parents bought their daughter a vibrator - then they must know she is having sex or wanting to and think this might be a way to keep her from screwing the debate team! For her to even ASK them seems to indicate an open door, honest relationship between them. So, whether we all see it as right or wrong is irrelevant, her parents saw it as fitting for her, and so thusly, they bought the vibe. Do I agree with this? HELL NO, but she is NOT my child.

Now, on a more generalized note, I do believe that much of what has been said here is right on. Children of today TOTALLY LIVE IN THE NOW! More now than 50 years ago (no disrespect meant Howard) children get instant gratification from all angles. With the advances in technology, computers, music, debit cards, etc. My son thinks things just come to him, he never has to wait, his little 5 year old friends have so many things that I would have never DREAMED of having at 5 or 6 years old. When it comes to sex, sex is ALL OVER THE FRICKIN' PLACE! On TV, on the radio, splattered all over everywhere. Children don't have to sneak their Dad's Playboys anymore, they can pick up a music mag or a dirt bike magazine and see the latest sexy star half naked and talking about his or her "boyfriends, tattoos, piercings or what not."

Sex might have been something that didn't need to be discussed back in 1985 when I first starting thinking seriously about sex, boys and the like. I waited until 1989 to have sex - I was 19 - and that would be a MIRACLE for most kids now. In an age where oral sex is the norm at 12, 13 or 14 - how far is the jump from sucking to fucking?

Today we have AIDS, we have serious STD's that are ALL OVER, we have boys thinking women are "sex toys" and girls thinking that they do not have to wait to have sex cause all their friends are already! With major retailers selling shirts that barely cover a girl's body, that say things like "Tease" "Flirt" or "Hooker", the advertising of sex is alllll over!

I think ANY PERSON who has ANY CHILDREN should learn to talk about sex in an open, appropriate and accepting way. I also think that where this conversation used to happen at high school graduation, right before they went happily off to college with their Dad's condoms in their pockets, that it should happen BEFORE they become teenagers!

Does this mean getting girls on the pill at 10 just to be sure? Or giving young boys condoms at 9? NO! However, if a child knows that his or her parents are open about sexual discussions and questions, and that the parents have talked openly and appropriately about sex in a realistic manner -then they will be much more able and willing to approach them when the time is right!

Kids can google "Virignity"; "sex"; "Stds" or any other term they want to know about and get thousands of answers on everything. None of this information means anything if they are not ready to process it intellectually. There is a mental maturity that should happen before kids have sex - but most times it doesn't. Underage parents are rampant in this society - is it because these kids are so dumb they do not know what a condom is - or is it that they simply do not care? I would submit that it is the later!

No longer is it adequate or even appropriate to simply say "premarital sex is bad" or "refrain cause you will get a disease." Why? Simply, for most children and teens, there authority is NOT their parents, but their peer groups. They do not give a rats ass about what the parents say if their friends disagree. So, how do you combat this? You be proactive, honest, open and UNDERSTANDING that this world is different than the one you grew up in. You talk to your kids about sex BEFORE they ask, you tell them there are dangers, concerns, risks etc. You tell them how to protect themselves, and then you PRAY that they remember at least some of what you said when it comes time. That is all we can really do as parents!

Now, back to the original question. I do not think that encouraging or allowing kids to masturbate means they will have sex. The correlation there is unwarranted. Just because a young person likes to self-gratify does NOT mean that they are going to take it to the next level. Nor do I think that having a sex toy guarantees a quicker road to sex - cause there have been "homemade" sex toys for years, from pool jets, to water faucets, and hairbrush handles. It is all the same thing. I think if a child wants to get their hands on a vibrator - personal massager - then they will. Walgreens carries quite a few, and the Sharper Image too!

I think that it is more the issue of where a parent draws a line in assisting this.

When I was young, I dated a guy whose parents bought alcohol and allowed him and all our friends to drink in the basement. We ranged from 14-20 - all underage. Their reasoning was, at least they knew it was safe and we were not in danger. That boy grew up to be an alcoholic - seriously, dangerously and alcoholic! He had been drinking for so long that he needed more and more and more to get the high. He got in a car accident when he was 22, coming home trashed, went through his windshield, lost a leg and almost killed the other driver he hit. So, while the drinking in the basement was safe for that night, it was not safe 6 years later when he nearly killed himself and someone else!

Could this have happened even if he never got to drink in his basement? Probably, but I think their behavior accelerated the action. So, does a parent buying a 14 year old a vibrator mean she will get obsessed with sex and masturbation? I can not answer that, but I think that as parents we have to make tough choices on what WE are going to set as the acceptable standards. For me, 14 is too young for a vibrator, or a clitoral stimulator, that is supplied by the parents. Insertable, non-insertable, personal massager, vibrator - call it what you will - if the parents buy it, it is sending a message.

There are so many other ways to teach her about her body, self pleasure and masturbation that do NOT involve an ADULT toy.

[krisleightate]

I have been waiting to see what everyone else thoughts were b4 I added my own. I do not think that it is right or responsible to allow a 14 yr old to have a sex toy or porn. I think we need to Allow our children to be children as long as possible. Maybe when she turns 16-17 she could have one, but 14 is way to young. And if she is still a virgin and she loses her virginity to a toy then she will be missing out on a lifetime memory. But on the flip side at 14 she should still be a virgin and I am not getting into that conversation about if she isn't

[me4now]

I think the point was missed here, it's not about intelligence and education, but about responsibility. We do not let kids that are 14 drive a car, drink alcohol, or smoke, or BUY SEX TOYS! Regardless of how intelligent someone is does not mean they are ready for the obligations that come along with taking part in certain things. can a 14 y/o handle alcohol? Would you let them mix alcohol with the guns you hand them? No, of course not. And sex does require maturity, it's the power of creation. Making life, something that has every right to live and breathe. I don't know a 14 year old alive that can deal with that and be just peachy. I was 14 much more recently than you Howard and I remember it quite well. I wanted gratification, and responsibility meant little to me or my friends. If doing it solo was good, doing it with a partner was a million times better. I believe in education and being upfront, but in no way giving them a green light in to test the plumbing as it were.

I am in agreement with Tyger & Mike D and maybe i'm old fashion/old school but i would not buy my child a Vibrator,but yes i would discuss sex with them but No vibrator but it's up to the parent discretion on how to handle their own child inthis situation

[Kinky Twinkie]

I am in agreement with Tyger & Mike D and maybe i'm old fashion/old school but i would not buy my child a Vibrator,but yes i would discuss sex with them but No vibrator but it's up to the parent discretion on how to handle their own child inthis situation

Gosh they still selling Lava Lamps??????

We'll I think giving a teen a vib takes away the memories of self discovery, like the thrill of discovering the joy of leaning against a running dryer and going OMG when you rub it the right way and the panic you go through when someone walks in and you wonder if they saw you.

I have to say this is maybe one of the most important discussions I seen on here

Glenn

[Valntyn]

I guess I'll throw in my two pennies...

Do I know this family or their situation? No.

Do I agree, based on what info is given here, with their decision to buy a child a vibrator? No, but it's THEIR decision/business, not mine. I don't agree, but I don't condemn, either.

Do I think it would have been better to buy her a non-inserting toy instead? No.

Would I buy my own child a vibrator (insertable or not)? No.

While I don't believe that giving a child a sex toy is going to make them a raving nymphomaniac OR do the opposite of keeping them a virgin until they're married, I PERSONALLY don't think it's appropriate. Toys are made for responsible adults who know more than just "the now."

I don't have children presently, but in the future, if my child were to come to me at the age of 14 to ask for a vibrator, you can bet your bippy we'd be having a very long heart-to-heart about the WHYs she was asking me for one... including how she knows about them, educating her appropriately about them, etc., etc. Hopefully she'd come out of the conversation feeling good about what she learned -- but she wouldn't be coming out of it with momma saying she'll buy her her first sex toy.

[clynn20]

I am in agreement that 14 is way too young. And by the way kids start finding out that rubbing there genitals is pleasurable way before their teenage years but they leave it at clit stimulation. I do think that parents have to talk to their kids about sex earlier. They hear so much more now. You can't watch the news with your children in the room. My daughter asked me if I have sex when she was three. She had no clue what is was but had heard someting on TV. My husband and Father were generally oblivious to what was on the TV when she was in the room. I warned her Dad so that he would be prepared for the question. I just asked her where she heard about sex. That was enought to satisfy her three year old curiosity. Around the age of four she started rubbing her privates, my husband at least knew this was normal and it did not truly shock him. He did ask me to talk to her about it. I still have to remind her that it is a private thing to do, not worng or dirty, but private. My husband will come to where I am and say "she's in the living room doing the wiggle thing again." He is afriad he will embarrase her so he askes me to handle it. Luckly my mother was always honest and talked to me about sex. However she made it clear to my sister and I that if we were adult enought to engage in sexual activity we were old enough to take care of the birth control deal with out her. No mom taking you to the Dr or buying condoms. She did not have a clue about sex and ended up pregnant with me at seventeen. The most her mother ever said about sex was something along the lines of don't get pregnant without the how to avoid it.

I completly advocate talking to your children about sex and having an open communication line. I do not believe that a 14 year old needs an insertable vibrator. Her parents need to find out what the status of her sex life is and talk to her about what is going on in her life. I am old fashion and hope that my children wait until marriage. I am old fashion in the thinking that I doubt more that my son will make it to his wedding night than my daughter. I will not however be suprised if neither of them wait. I do not regret waiting, but I do know some women who do.

I just do not think 14 is old enough even in today's world where kids know more much earlier.

[Tyger]

What I am reading here is, at best, half-a##ed attempts to communicate with kids at 14 about sex, but still protect the parent from being embarrassed if someone learns that their kid has an external vibrator. I was hoping that you would pick up on Mikayla's comments about kids making do with all kinds of items, or comments from others here about buying vibrators at Spensers, in most of the malls, where there is no age restriction.

If you are one of the folks here who have declared, before the issue is ever raise in your own family, that you would " NEVER" give your 14 year old daughter a vibrator, I think you need to rethink what the parenting process is all about. ~Howard (editted of course)

I read your entire long-winded answer, and I say ENOUGH!! If you choose to be insulting to parents because of our opinions on what we will be teaching our children, then you, sir, are out of line. Personally, I think you should rethink many of your opinions. You reallly should admit that there are SOME things you just DON'T know. There is nothing wrong with that.

Never once was I insulting to you, or any other people that have either been unable to have kids, or have chosen not to do so. The last paragraph that I have quoted, you have been insulting to parents that think differently than you.

By your posts, you have seemingly refused to see that there is an opinion other than your own. Which, as a teacher myself, and coming from an entire family of teachers, you have done the title of Teacher a disservice. Being a teacher in any way, also means that you truly listen/read, and try to see things from different angles, besides your own.

I am thru with this thread.

[foryoureyesonly]

Wow, Tyger, I............well.......just WOW. (You know you are gonna get it from Howard over that one!)

BUT, I get your point and agree. To be an effective teacher you must be able to admit you don't know it all, not ever! You must still be able to LEARN.

Howard, as much as I respect your many opinions and agree with you on some, I have to say you cannot lump all children into one category. I have three kids and each of them are completely different in how they react to parenting decisions. My oldest will consider, then question, then do it his way anyway. Fortunately he has a sensible head on his shoulders and thinks things through reasonably. My middle child, a daughter, really listens and takes to heart EVERYTHING I say, which really keeps me on my toes. I have to always be on my game with her because she forgets nothing and takes everything very literally. My youngest, well, he is a challenge. Questions everything, which in and of itself is not bad, but can also come across as quite disrespectful. He requires a much firmer hand than the other two. But he is also exceptionally intelligent and can see through any BS. How would I handle the vibrator/dildo issue? I truly do not know. I do feel 14 is too young, but that then sets up the question what is old enough? That answer changes with each child and with each parent. There is no "pat" right or wrong answer. As has previously been said, only the parent knows what is right for their child. Unfortunately, there are alot of parents out there that have no clue what is going on with their child. We, as parents, will make mistakes, we will give wrong advice, we will regret not being proactive over something, and at other times making too big an issue out of something. You can only do what you think is right at that moment in that time and hope for the best. This sounds very cavalier, but that is what parenting boils down to. What was right for my generation is not necessarily right for todays kids or will be right for their kids. It's all a big guessing game and you do the best you can with the info you have at hand.

Well, that was probably a whole lot of nothing (and certainly didn't answer the original question) but it was what came to mind.

[clynn20]

What I am reading here is, at best, half-a##ed attempts to communicate with kids at 14 about sex, but still protect the parent from being embarrassed if someone learns that their kid has an external vibrator. I was hoping that you would pick up on Mikayla's comments about kids making do with all kinds of items, or comments from others here about buying vibrators at Spensers, in most of the malls, where there is no age restriction.

If you are one of the folks here who have declared, before the issue is ever raise in your own family, that you would " NEVER" give your 14 year old daughter a vibrator, I think you need to rethink what the parenting process is all about. ~Howard (editted of course)

I read your entire long-winded answer, and I say ENOUGH!! If you choose to be insulting to parents because of our opinions on what we will be teaching our children, then you, sir, are out of line. Personally, I think you should rethink many of your opinions. You reallly should admit that there are SOME things you just DON'T know. There is nothing wrong with that.

Never once was I insulting to you, or any other people that have either been unable to have kids, or have chosen not to do so. The last paragraph that I have quoted, you have been insulting to parents that think differently than you.

By your posts, you have seemingly refused to see that there is an opinion other than your own. Which, as a teacher myself, and coming from an entire family of teachers, you have done the title of Teacher a disservice. Being a teacher in any way, also means that you truly listen/read, and try to see things from different angles, besides your own.

I am thru with this thread.

This is a very heated topic and seems to be getting more heated. Howard I do hope that you are not trying to insult parents who would choose to not buy the vibrator for them. Educating your children and handing over something you do not believe they are ready for do not go hand in hand. I have been to Spensers, however I am not sure it is still there. I have been in Spensers as a teen with my own Mother and I was able to pick up anything in the store and show it to her. We could talk about what ever the item was but that did not mean she was going to but it for me if she felt it was inappropriate. You are correct that kids will make do with what they can get or have. As a parent you do not have to give them free reign to educate them especially when it comes to sex. I did not read each and every post, but I did not feel like anyone was saying they would be embarrassed if someone else found out they had given their child a sex toy of any kind. I do not know about the other parents, but I am not embarresed by the choices I make in raising my children. I try to make educated responcible choices based on our families value systems as well as life experience. As I stated in my earlier post, I was taught that if I was old enough to make a choice about sex I was expected to be mature enough to handle it all own my own. No parents buying the condoms, taking you to the gyno, it was to be my step to take. Thus the responcibility was mine not my parents. She did this because she knew that if we were "adult enough" to make the purchase or Dr visit on our own, we felt we were ready to take that step in our lives. That is true parenting!! So no I would not purchase a vibrator for my 14 year old. If she feels that is something she is ready for she can come to me and discuss it, however she would have to find a way to make the purchase without me.

sexysouthermom

[Mike_d]

Ditto Tyger. Peace out.

[pappyld04]

I've often wondered where my daughter would be had I even considered doing something like this. Maybe the parents are thinking that a toy may distract from the old boy chasing. If she's at home satisfying herself then maybe she won't be on the streets. My nephew at 9yo had a 12yo gf who told him that if you have sex standing up you can't get pregnant unless you kiss. The idea that most parents choose to ignore these things is absurd. Hey guys, any of your friends or kinfolk have blowup dolls? I remember a lot of movies that would show this for boys but not girls. They are going to do it regardless of what you say. I personally think it might be something unconventional but is still better than nothing. We could argue semantics all day long but it is not our decision in the end. I hope it does work for them. Beats a pregnant 15yo dropout EVERYDAY!!!!!

[Kinky Twinkie]

I've often wondered where my daughter would be had I even considered doing something like this. Maybe the parents are thinking that a toy may distract from the old boy chasing. If she's at home satisfying herself then maybe she won't be on the streets. My nephew at 9yo had a 12yo gf who told him that if you have sex standing up you can't get pregnant unless you kiss. The idea that most parents choose to ignore these things is absurd. Hey guys, any of your friends or kinfolk have blowup dolls? I remember a lot of movies that would show this for boys but not girls. They are going to do it regardless of what you say. I personally think it might be something unconventional but is still better than nothing. We could argue semantics all day long but it is not our decision in the end. I hope it does work for them. Beats a pregnant 15yo dropout EVERYDAY!!!!!

I just waiting for the neice to pop up on the next episode of HBO Cathouse after telling me she went out and found a job. I hoping I lose this bet but I have $5 on it she will show up.

Btw, I failed to mention she broke the vib while using it. She sent me a link where they bought it, it was cute kind of looking like lip stick case, but I never known anyone to break one while holding it. I can only assume she had a great time.

Maybe when she older I send her one for Christmas, like when she goes off to college. My sister in law likes her silver bullets. But I told my brother If he thinks she innocent he has another thing coming. I got to talking to her privatly and she told me she was active with her bo but in convincing the parents to get her one she let them know she would be less likely to do it if.... and they bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Glenn

[swoodzy]

OMG...Someone up there mentioned the rule about being 18 to even go into a "Toy Store". Call me old fashioned, but i totally agree. Wow.. a 14 yr old...I just think that is too young. I was 20 before I traded in my virginity. I know that is odd for this day and age, but I think kids are already growing up too fast. JMO.

[bazil323]

My gut instinct was to say no way! However, I got to thinking about it and what I and my cousin were doing at 10, 12, 14, and how we could have been educated better, I reassessed my opinion. As early as 10 and 11, I was rubbing myself, and around 13 or 14 started looking for something more, ie insertable! So I feel that kids should be educated about sex and responsibility as early as possible. Start with responsibility, and work from there. Once they realize that their actions have consequences, then you can introduce sex. A sex talk with have no affect if they don't realize that their choices will affect themselves and others.

With the 14-year-old, I'd say have a good, open talk with her, and then decide from there. Let her know you will think about it and give her an answer by the end of the day or the next day. Make it a short time frame, but long enough that you can give some real thought on it. My recommendation would be that she not get a toy, but rather an education book. I wouldn't get one with photographs, as this will only fuel her desire and probably won't help with the education (speaking from experience). I don't have any kids, but I have been a horny teenager very recently.

I'd recommend graduating to a toy only after some time. I don't think anyone under 16 should have a toy, but then again, it all comes down to the person. Are they responsible? Can they handle that kind of maturity? Then the first toy should be a bullet or something non-penetrating so that she is kind of forced to explore her body. I didn't have that kind of gradual education, so I'm still unsure of what I really like. The non-penetration will give her the kind of stimulation she wants while being less, umm, blatant, I guess. You know, let her test the water with a toe rather than letting her jump in head first.