Sex Addiction

[Mikayla1]

Hello all. Recently David Ducovony (sp) has come out saying that he was going into sex addiction rehab. His addiction was not with 'real' women, no affairs, but with online pornography. This struck me as particularly interesting, especially since this topic has been brought up on forum lately. It had an effect on me when I realized that many people 'think' that they are addicted to sex (I, myself, have lightly remarked that I am a sex addict) when truly they are not. Liking sex is not addiction. Liking a drink after a long week is not an addiction.

Here is David who is married to the gorgeous Tea Leoni and HE is online looking at porn? This brings up two thoughts to my mind. (1) It REALLY doesn't matter who you are married to, if you are predisposed to look, you are gonna look (2) ANYONE can become addicted to it.

I have always defended an adult's right to look at adult featured literature in any form. I hold true to the fact that for most people, this never becomes problematic and it is simply entertainment. However, it is important to realize that not everyone has this nochalant view of it. Tea Leoni definitely doesn't and many people here on forum don't either.

Sex addiction IS a serious issue. True sex addiction can come in many forms - including surfing online porn. Just like a drug addiction, sex addiction can ruin your life.

So, in an effort to take this situation seriously, I wanted to just open a discussion about this in the manner of personal experience. Many of you have first hand experience with this, others have no idea this is real and still others may be thinking they have a problem.

Let's open up a discussion regarding this in an effort to bring it to light and to help those who may be crossing the line from entertainment to addiction.

[sun_flower969]

Here is something I took from a sex addiction website, Sex addiction is a real thing and it is also, unbeknownst to a lot of people, an epidemic!!!

"What is important is to acknowledge whether or not you are engaging in sexual and/or romantic behavior that is having, or could be having a negative impact on your life. If you are, then don't waste time wondering whether you should label yourself "an addict", or whether or not if you meet the criteria for "an addiction". If you are currently struggling with sexual and/or romantic behaviors, no matter how small these behaviors may seem, you have the opportunity and responsibility to do something about it. "How do I know if I have an addiction?" This can be tricky as there is no absolute set of rules to go by for every individual. Some people can have affairs, masturbate, view pornography, fall "instantly" in love, etc. and certainly not be addicted to those behaviors. There are, however, a clear set of questions you should ask yourself that will help you to determine whether or not a problem exists.If you are unsure of whether or not you should seek treatment for sexual and/or romantic behavior, ask yourself these questions:

* Do the potential long-term effects of this behavior significantly outweigh the immediate satisfaction gained from performing it? If, in your opinion, the behavior appears to be a means of receiving immediate gratification, without regard to the lasting effects to themselves or those around them, the you should seek assistance in exploring this.

* Have you ever promised to stop? If you have voiced a promise to stop performing a particular behavior, even if you have not yet had the opportunity to follow through with that promise, you should seek treatment. That may seem harsh, but the rationale is valid: your promise to stop is a verification of conflict between your values and your behavior, and such a conflict needs resolution. Simply expecting yourself to stop on your own is unrealistic, and may actually hasten the addictive process. Can a person permanently stop on their own? Absolutely. But it rarely happens. Seek assistance through a self-management program or counselor to assure that your behavior changes.

* Is this a behavior that is being done in secret? Like the promise to stop, anyone that feels the need to perform sexual behavior and keep them secret knows that there is a conflict between what is socially acceptable and what isn't. Still, they continue to perform the behaviors that they know to be wrong in exchange for the immediate gratification they receive. This indicates a problem that needs to be addressed.

* Does this behavior appear to be a part of a pattern? Examine other behaviors that you engage in. Look for similar compulsive behaviors, and not just sexual and/or romantic, that appear to be a part of an addictive pattern. Usually, these behaviors will tend to be obvious in particular areas, and will emphasize the theme of immediate gratification over long-term satisfaction. Compulsive shopping, eating, exercising: these are just a few that can indicate a pattern of emotional self-regulation that indicates the need for some type of intervention--especially when found in conjunction with compulsive sexual and/or romantic behavior.

* Does the behavior appear to be completely out of character for who you believe yourself to be? Or the person that you want others to think that you are? For you to have recognized a behavior pattern that is totally out of context for who you believe yourself to be is a strong sign that you have developed a dual (secret) lifestyle--which can be indicative of a rather advanced pattern of addiction.

* Are you trying to cover for your behavior through lies and secrecy? Just because someone lies about having an affair, or how a particular pornographic item was downloaded from the internet does not necessarily indicate addiction. By nature, people try to avoid uncomfortable feelings and frequently do so by lies and avoidance. But, the more pronounced and elaborate the lies become, the more indicative of a pattern of preoccupation and value conflict--and thus the more pronounced the addiction. In its extreme, murder and suicide may even be considered to maintain the aura of secrecy.

Answer these questions with absolute honesty and you will know whether or not you need help."

These are not my words but the words of the author of the site, He is a Dr. he has written books and is also a recovering addict himself! His story is amazing and VERY EXTREME!

[sun_flower969]

Here is a quiz from another site, again not my words...

Am I addicted to pornography?

This is a self-assessment quiz for determining whether you might be addicted to pornography.

1. Do you ever find yourself spending more time viewing pornography than you intended to?

2. Are you spending less time with family and friends than you used to because of time with pornography?

3. Do you usually masturbate while viewing pornography?

4. Has your job performance suffered as a result of porn use?

5. Has your use of pornography caused problems with your spouse or romantic partner?

6. Do you sometimes prefer masturbation with pornography over sex with your spouse or significant other?

7. Do you ever wake up tired because of late-night use of pornography?

8. Do you keep your porn use secret from others, sometimes lying to cover it up?

9. Do you sometimes fantasize about people you’ve seen in pornography while having real sex with a partner?

10. Has your pornography use caused trouble with the law?

11. Do you seek sexual images that are more graphic, hard-core or “forbidden” than you once did?

12. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography, then broken that resolution?

13. Do you ever get upset at yourself for the time and resources you spend on pornography?

14. Do you keep viewing porn even when you know you should really be going home or going to bed?

15. Have you lost the ability to find sufficient excitement in pornography and gone beyond that to seek others for sexual chat or illicit sexual encounters?

16. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after viewing pornography or other sexual activity?

17. Do you worry that your pornography use is getting out of control?

18. Is it easier for you to reach climax masturbating to pornography than having sex with a partner?

19. Have others said that you have a problem with pornography?

20. Do you find yourself looking forward to porn use as a “reward” or “escape” from the stresses of everyday life?

If you answered yes to 5 or more of the above, you may have a serious problem with pornography. If you answered yes to 10 or more of the above, you are probably addicted to porn.

[Mikayla1]

Come on guys...I am interested in a few more opinions /stories/information. Acknowledging that this is out there does not mean all you guys or gals who have looked at porn are addicts. Here would be MY answers to the quiz:

1. Do you ever find yourself spending more time viewing pornography than you intended to? Not if I am not reviewing movies, I usually have a good grip on it

2. Are you spending less time with family and friends than you used to because of time with pornography? DEFINITELY NO

3. Do you usually masturbate while viewing pornography? Yep

4. Has your job performance suffered as a result of porn use? Well, I am a sex educator and sex toy reviewer so no, it hasn't (my other job hasn't either)

5. Has your use of pornography caused problems with your spouse or romantic partner? Nope

6. Do you sometimes prefer masturbation with pornography over sex with your spouse or significant other? Oh HELL NAW

7. Do you ever wake up tired because of late-night use of pornography? NO

8. Do you keep your porn use secret from others, sometimes lying to cover it up? NO, I am a proud porn viewer

9. Do you sometimes fantasize about people you’ve seen in pornography while having real sex with a partner? Less porn stars and more movie stars

10. Has your pornography use caused trouble with the law? Uh, no

11. Do you seek sexual images that are more graphic, hard-core or “forbidden” than you once did? Yes

12. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography, then broken that resolution? No

13. Do you ever get upset at yourself for the time and resources you spend on pornography? No

14. Do you keep viewing porn even when you know you should really be going home or going to bed? No

15. Have you lost the ability to find sufficient excitement in pornography and gone beyond that to seek others for sexual chat or illicit sexual encounters? No

16. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after viewing pornography or other sexual activity? No

17. Do you worry that your pornography use is getting out of control? No

18. Is it easier for you to reach climax masturbating to pornography than having sex with a partner?

NOPE, but I can get off quickly either way

19. Have others said that you have a problem with pornography? No

20. Do you find yourself looking forward to porn use as a “reward” or “escape” from the stresses of everyday life? Sometimes, in the way that masturbation time is stress relief

So about 2 1/2 out of 20 - no, I am not a sex addict.

[sun_flower969]

Come on guys...I am interested in a few more opinions /stories/information. Acknowledging that this is out there does not mean all you guys or gals who have looked at porn are addicts. Here would be MY answers to the quiz:

1. Do you ever find yourself spending more time viewing pornography than you intended to? Not if I am not reviewing movies, I usually have a good grip on it

2. Are you spending less time with family and friends than you used to because of time with pornography? DEFINITELY NO

3. Do you usually masturbate while viewing pornography? Yep

4. Has your job performance suffered as a result of porn use? Well, I am a sex educator and sex toy reviewer so no, it hasn't (my other job hasn't either)

5. Has your use of pornography caused problems with your spouse or romantic partner? Nope

6. Do you sometimes prefer masturbation with pornography over sex with your spouse or significant other? Oh HELL NAW

7. Do you ever wake up tired because of late-night use of pornography? NO

8. Do you keep your porn use secret from others, sometimes lying to cover it up? NO, I am a proud porn viewer

9. Do you sometimes fantasize about people you’ve seen in pornography while having real sex with a partner? Less porn stars and more movie stars

10. Has your pornography use caused trouble with the law? Uh, no

11. Do you seek sexual images that are more graphic, hard-core or “forbidden” than you once did? Yes

12. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography, then broken that resolution? No

13. Do you ever get upset at yourself for the time and resources you spend on pornography? No

14. Do you keep viewing porn even when you know you should really be going home or going to bed? No

15. Have you lost the ability to find sufficient excitement in pornography and gone beyond that to seek others for sexual chat or illicit sexual encounters? No

16. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after viewing pornography or other sexual activity? No

17. Do you worry that your pornography use is getting out of control? No

18. Is it easier for you to reach climax masturbating to pornography than having sex with a partner?

NOPE, but I can get off quickly either way

19. Have others said that you have a problem with pornography? No

20. Do you find yourself looking forward to porn use as a “reward” or “escape” from the stresses of everyday life? Sometimes, in the way that masturbation time is stress relief

So about 2 1/2 out of 20 - no, I am not a sex addict.

OMG I didn't post that to have people actually post their answers! Just to look and see and to think about it! Kudos Mikayla!

[sun_flower969]

Oh boy, have you opened a can of worms! I don't know that sexual behavior can qualify as an addiction (more on this view later). It is very important to keep in mind that just like in any other field, 'helping professions' can be unscrupulous and be solely out for the buck, and there are very big bucks to be had in 'addictions counseling'. If I could convince people that consuming chocolate was a genuine addiction, I could make millions.

Iha I think you have to look at it as more of EXTREME behavior rather than just "behavior"... and the Dr at that site does not make anything off of the members.

[sun_flower969]

I guess I should walk my talk eh?

Am I addicted to pornography?

This is a self-assessment quiz for determining whether you might be addicted to pornography.

1. Do you ever find yourself spending more time viewing pornography than you intended to? NO, (on this site maybe, but porn no !)

2. Are you spending less time with family and friends than you used to because of time with pornography? NO

3. Do you usually masturbate while viewing pornography? On the occasion that I may watch it yes, is there any other reason to watch it??? I mean it isn't for the high budget or epic romances or special effects C'MON!

4. Has your job performance suffered as a result of porn use? NO

5. Has your use of pornography caused problems with your spouse or romantic partner?NO

6. Do you sometimes prefer masturbation with pornography over sex with your spouse or significant other?NO

7. Do you ever wake up tired because of late-night use of pornography?NO

8. Do you keep your porn use secret from others, sometimes lying to cover it up?NO

9. Do you sometimes fantasize about people you’ve seen in pornography while having real sex with a partner? I have in the past

10. Has your pornography use caused trouble with the law? NO

11. Do you seek sexual images that are more graphic, hard-core or “forbidden” than you once did? NO but I may have before

12. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography, then broken that resolution? NO

13. Do you ever get upset at yourself for the time and resources you spend on pornography? NO

14. Do you keep viewing porn even when you know you should really be going home or going to bed? NO

15. Have you lost the ability to find sufficient excitement in pornography and gone beyond that to seek others for sexual chat or illicit sexual encounters? NO

16. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after viewing pornography or other sexual activity? NO

17. Do you worry that your pornography use is getting out of control? NO

18. Is it easier for you to reach climax masturbating to pornography than having sex with a partner? Not anymore in fact it is WAY opposite

19. Have others said that you have a problem with pornography? NO

20. Do you find yourself looking forward to porn use as a “reward” or “escape” from the stresses of everyday life? NO

So I guess that's 3

[sass]

IMO an addiction to anything means that you allow it to consume or change your life in a way that causes self destruction (or pain to others) with you being unable to stop the action.

When you drink alcohol to the point that is causing health and social problems and can't stop, that is addiction. If you diet to the point of becoming unhealthy and you can't seem to make yourself eat - additction. When you think of someone to the point of having to see them, follow them, call them, etc. to the point you are making their life unpleasant and you can't stop - addition (and stalker!)

I think porn is the same way. If you don't allow it to become destruction in your life and you could stop, then it is not an addition. However, if you are allowing it to negatively affect your life AND you can't stop - addiction. I think the point of not being able to control your actions is important here, because some people could stop, they just don't care enough about whatever negatives are occurring to do so. Like a food addict - a person may eat to the point of becoming unhealthy, but if they could stop and just don't care enough to do so, then I would not consider that an addiction - a bad idea, yes, but not addiction.

There is also a fine line on what is a truly negative affect and a perceived one. If, for example, a man watches porn once in a year and that causes his wife to become hurt - can you really say that is an addiction? I don't think so. I guess this is why there are counselors - to look deep enough to know what is and isn't realistic.

For me, I have done many things that were self-destructive, but I had the ability to stop. There have been times that I drank too much and did, umm, "other things" to much -- but I could always take it or leave it. I look at porn the same way. Heck yes, I watch porn, I like it, I do some of the other things on the test above -- but I can also stop it. I know myself well enough to know that.

That's my 1.5 cents worth (Sun always says hers is worth 2 cents and I am still a lowly protégé so mine must be worth less! )

[sun_flower969]

IMO an addiction to anything means that you allow it to consume or change your life in a way that causes self destruction (or pain to others) with you being unable to stop the action.

I agree 100%

I think porn is the same way. If you don't allow it to become destruction in your life and you could stop, then it is not an addition. However, if you are allowing it to negatively affect your life AND you can't stop - addiction. I think the point of not being able to control your actions is important here, because some people could stop, they just don't care enough about whatever negatives are occurring to do so. Like a food addict - a person may eat to the point of becoming unhealthy, but if they could stop and just don't care enough to do so, then I would not consider that an addiction - a bad idea, yes, but not addiction.

Hmmm I wonder though how many people think they can stop a compulsion, say they can or that they just don't care but the reality is that they are controlled by it

That's my 1.5 cents worth (Sun always says hers is worth 2 cents and I am still a lowly protégé so mine must be worth less! )

DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT!!!!! Everyones input is equally important! I value you and your opinion! It is priceless to me!

[jhard]

We once went on a class trip to Europe during highschool. One of the guys was a little "odd", but we did'nt know how odd. One night in the big mens bedroom in a youth hostel the guy asks us if we know what a woman sounds like while she is cumming. So we say no, why don't you tell us. This guy starts moaning and making female orgasm sounds like you would'nt believe, the lights were out and we could barely stop ourselves from pissing ourselves it was so funny. This guy knew about internet porn about 3 or 4 years before I even knew what the internet was. Fast forward 20 years. The guy has had job problems (sexual harassment charge) and severe marital problems. I have lost contact with him many years ago, but a person I know ran into him a while ago and he introtuced himself as "Hi, I am ..........., and I am addicted to porn!)

So ya, I suppose some people can get truly addicted, but I can't imagine the number being to high. I have at times viewed massive amounts of beautiful naked woman, I really don't want to call it porn because what I have historically liked to look at is more like art, IMO. The only problem it ever caused me was a swelling problem that I managed to quickly take care of.

j

[sun_flower969]

Here is something to read for those who are willing to go deeper into the conversation:

http://www.passionatemarriage.com/ca_onlin...x_article.shtml

~and~

http://books.google.com/books?id=wPMPhGxfp...esult#PPA517,M1

pages 516-518

I noticed some Patrick Carnes references in the second one. I have heard his name a TON at the websites where I got the quiz and the other assessment questions. I think I am going to step back from this topic. It is bringing up some memories that are too upsetting for me to think about. I may read posts but I think I might just stay out of this one. I don't want to go "there again" and relive my hellish experience...

If you want, PM me and I can send you the links to those websites. or Mikayla can give them to you. I'm just not sure If I should post them.

[mystofpric]

Well I remember when i first heard about sex addictions, I laughed. But it does make sense. It is a pleasureable experience and who wouldnt want that all the time?

To me I can't nessacarily blame the addict, some of us are just wired to wanting things in excess like that. No does this mean that smokers are smokers because of genetics? No. I do know though that I have an addictive personality and I try to avoid things that I could get hooked on (like smoking). I had a friend who refuses to drink because herfather was an alcoholic and studies say she is 4x as likely as anyone else to become an alcoholic.

I just hope that this (in this case i don't think is)is just another hollywood excuse. They tell off a cop and are in rehad. Usher got caught cheating and became a sex addict. There is a difference between uncontrolled behaviors and addictions and just being stupid.

[12GAUGE]

Here is something I took from a sex addiction website, Sex addiction is a real thing and it is also, unbeknownst to a lot of people, an epidemic!!!

"What is important is to acknowledge whether or not you are engaging in sexual and/or romantic behavior that is having, or could be having a negative impact on your life. If you are, then don't waste time wondering whether you should label yourself "an addict", or whether or not if you meet the criteria for "an addiction". If you are currently struggling with sexual and/or romantic behaviors, no matter how small these behaviors may seem, you have the opportunity and responsibility to do something about it. "How do I know if I have an addiction?" This can be tricky as there is no absolute set of rules to go by for every individual. Some people can have affairs, masturbate, view pornography, fall "instantly" in love, etc. and certainly not be addicted to those behaviors. There are, however, a clear set of questions you should ask yourself that will help you to determine whether or not a problem exists.If you are unsure of whether or not you should seek treatment for sexual and/or romantic behavior, ask yourself these questions:

* Do the potential long-term effects of this behavior significantly outweigh the immediate satisfaction gained from performing it? If, in your opinion, the behavior appears to be a means of receiving immediate gratification, without regard to the lasting effects to themselves or those around them, the you should seek assistance in exploring this.

* Have you ever promised to stop? If you have voiced a promise to stop performing a particular behavior, even if you have not yet had the opportunity to follow through with that promise, you should seek treatment. That may seem harsh, but the rationale is valid: your promise to stop is a verification of conflict between your values and your behavior, and such a conflict needs resolution. Simply expecting yourself to stop on your own is unrealistic, and may actually hasten the addictive process. Can a person permanently stop on their own? Absolutely. But it rarely happens. Seek assistance through a self-management program or counselor to assure that your behavior changes.

* Is this a behavior that is being done in secret? Like the promise to stop, anyone that feels the need to perform sexual behavior and keep them secret knows that there is a conflict between what is socially acceptable and what isn't. Still, they continue to perform the behaviors that they know to be wrong in exchange for the immediate gratification they receive. This indicates a problem that needs to be addressed.

* Does this behavior appear to be a part of a pattern? Examine other behaviors that you engage in. Look for similar compulsive behaviors, and not just sexual and/or romantic, that appear to be a part of an addictive pattern. Usually, these behaviors will tend to be obvious in particular areas, and will emphasize the theme of immediate gratification over long-term satisfaction. Compulsive shopping, eating, exercising: these are just a few that can indicate a pattern of emotional self-regulation that indicates the need for some type of intervention--especially when found in conjunction with compulsive sexual and/or romantic behavior.

* Does the behavior appear to be completely out of character for who you believe yourself to be? Or the person that you want others to think that you are? For you to have recognized a behavior pattern that is totally out of context for who you believe yourself to be is a strong sign that you have developed a dual (secret) lifestyle--which can be indicative of a rather advanced pattern of addiction.

* Are you trying to cover for your behavior through lies and secrecy? Just because someone lies about having an affair, or how a particular pornographic item was downloaded from the internet does not necessarily indicate addiction. By nature, people try to avoid uncomfortable feelings and frequently do so by lies and avoidance. But, the more pronounced and elaborate the lies become, the more indicative of a pattern of preoccupation and value conflict--and thus the more pronounced the addiction. In its extreme, murder and suicide may even be considered to maintain the aura of secrecy.

Answer these questions with absolute honesty and you will know whether or not you need help."

These are not my words but the words of the author of the site, He is a Dr. he has written books and is also a recovering addict himself! His story is amazing and VERY EXTREME!

I AM NOT ADDICTED...I JUST GOTTA HAVE IT ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!

[Tyger]

The Duchovny Files: Treating Sex Addiction article from Newsweek

[pappyld04]

I think a true test of addiction is whether you seek out unprotected and/or risky sex!

[Orlando]

I am acquainted with a man whose wife divorced him (allegedly) because he wanted sex once or twice a day and she didn't want it that much. I don't remember the details, but there was some talk about him having an addiction. Given one of the definitions of addiction (a behavior that you continue to engage in even if it is harmful to you or your family), I think it could have been called an addiction.

[Mikayla1]

The other night I was watching late night TV. THere was a doctor on talking about sex addiction and how prevalent it really is. Then, Dr. Drew (you know, the love line guy) came on with a woman who just wrote a book about her sex addiction. Dr. Drew indicated that in a majority of sexual addiction cases the person has been sexually abused or exploited.

Do you think this is true? I can certainly see how children who are abused would view themselves as sexual objects, and therefore recreate that scene as an adult. However, I would also think that sexual abuse would cause more disinterest in sex over interest in it.

I was not sexually abused as a child, but I was raped, and I was in a sexual relationship that was, well to be blunt, a relationship where I was a sexual object. This time in this relationship really helped to form a sexual being. Some would say that my interest in sex and the amount I want to have it is borderline addiction. I have engaged in activities that are odd, but not self-destructive. I could 'stop' having sex if I wanted, but I don't want to. Does that sound like an alcoholic who says he can stop? Where is the real line? IF you go outside your relationship? Have too much casual sex? Do things that are morally 'wrong?' I have really gotten an interest in this subject. Can anyone lend personal experience from the point of being a sexual addict as opposed to pointing to all the articles (not that they weren't helpful) I am just interested in what people think.

[sun_flower969]

The other night I was watching late night TV. THere was a doctor on talking about sex addiction and how prevalent it really is. Then, Dr. Drew (you know, the love line guy) came on with a woman who just wrote a book about her sex addiction. Dr. Drew indicated that in a majority of sexual addiction cases the person has been sexually abused or exploited.

Do you think this is true? I can certainly see how children who are abused would view themselves as sexual objects, and therefore recreate that scene as an adult. However, I would also think that sexual abuse would cause more disinterest in sex over interest in it.

I was not sexually abused as a child, but I was raped, and I was in a sexual relationship that was, well to be blunt, a relationship where I was a sexual object. This time in this relationship really helped to form a sexual being. Some would say that my interest in sex and the amount I want to have it is borderline addiction. I have engaged in activities that are odd, but not self-destructive. I could 'stop' having sex if I wanted, but I don't want to. Does that sound like an alcoholic who says he can stop? Where is the real line? IF you go outside your relationship? Have too much casual sex? Do things that are morally 'wrong?' I have really gotten an interest in this subject. Can anyone lend personal experience from the point of being a sexual addict as opposed to pointing to all the articles (not that they weren't helpful) I am just interested in what people think.

Howdy well the thing about upbringing or extreme experiences is that it shapes your character. A sexually abused child sometimes if it isn't in a violent way (all abuse is violent in a way but hear me out) can grow up with a very confused and distorted way of thinking about sex. They are sexualized far too young and end up using it for comfort and seek out the feeling throughout their life inappropriately. Even in the case of being exploited or used as an object. At first It may be uncomfortable or frightening but as you go further you become desensitized and it becomes the norm. I think the line is blurred. You (generally speaking) have to ask yourself honestly. Is this a problem, is it COMPULSIVE does it preoccupy your mind to the point that you HAVE to go take care of yourself at inappropriate times? Are you engaging in behavior that could affect your life/family in a negative way. Do you feel like you don't get as aroused as you used unless you add something more taboo or hardcore and ever increasing? These are the issues that are concerning.

Honestly if there are any "diagnosed sex addicts" who visit this site I can almost guarantee you that you will not hear from them. They are in hiding. They are here for other reasons...

[pappyld04]

Just an opinion but it seems that some of these kids grow up equating sex with love. It may have been the only attention that they got from the parent(s)/guardian. Sickening, I know, but I'm on the outside looking in at this one.

[sun_flower969]

Just an opinion but it seems that some of these kids grow up equating sex with love. It may have been the only attention that they got from the parent(s)/guardian. Sickening, I know, but I'm on the outside looking in at this one.

That is a huge part of it Pappy! I agree

[LilyElle]

I don't know very much about this subject, but I'll reply to the quiz for curiosity's sake...

Am I addicted to pornography?

This is a self-assessment quiz for determining whether you might be addicted to pornography.

1. Do you ever find yourself spending more time viewing pornography than you intended to? yes, but rarely

2. Are you spending less time with family and friends than you used to because of time with pornography?no

3. Do you usually masturbate while viewing pornography? yes

4. Has your job performance suffered as a result of porn use? nope

5. Has your use of pornography caused problems with your spouse or romantic partner? hahah, no... we sometimes even watch it together!

6. Do you sometimes prefer masturbation with pornography over sex with your spouse or significant other? hell no. There's no connection. Yes, I'm physically relieved, but I'm still left yearning for him, even if I'm to exhausted to move.

7. Do you ever wake up tired because of late-night use of pornography? no

8. Do you keep your porn use secret from others, sometimes lying to cover it up? only my parents; they'd be mortified. Everyone else who's ever asked, or been around when the subject came up, not only knows, but probably knows what my favorites are.

9. Do you sometimes fantasize about people you’ve seen in pornography while having real sex with a partner? Never, actually, which I'm told is odd.

10. Has your pornography use caused trouble with the law? Nope

11. Do you seek sexual images that are more graphic, hard-core or “forbidden” than you once did? Yes. I also engage in more "graphic, hard-core or "forbidden"" sexual acts than I once did. But I don't watch or do anything risky. I sense a pattern here.

12. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography, then broken that resolution? nope.

13. Do you ever get upset at yourself for the time and resources you spend on pornography? no

14. Do you keep viewing porn even when you know you should really be going home or going to bed? on rare occasions

15. Have you lost the ability to find sufficient excitement in pornography and gone beyond that to seek others for sexual chat or illicit sexual encounters? nope

16. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after viewing pornography or other sexual activity? nah

17. Do you worry that your pornography use is getting out of control? no

18. Is it easier for you to reach climax masturbating to pornography than having sex with a partner? no. He can quite literally make me climax in 30 seconds if he puts his mind to it. I can't match that, even with my favorite toys and porn.

19. Have others said that you have a problem with pornography? nope

20. Do you find yourself looking forward to porn use as a “reward” or “escape” from the stresses of everyday life? Yes. I also look forward to novels, Photoshop, making jewelry, and online games as a "reward" or "escape" from the stresses of everyday life. Porn is only my reward of choice when my boyfriend's been teasing me over the phone, and I know it'll be a week till I see him.

If you answered yes to 5 or more of the above, you may have a serious problem with pornography. If you answered yes to 10 or more of the above, you are probably addicted to porn.

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I answered with at least a qualified yes to 6 of them. And yet I only occasionally watch porn. (we aren't counting the hours I spend "window shopping" for sex toys, right? XD)

Those sources you posted made very interesting reading, Iha. Thanks for sharing them!