Tell Me About "the Talk"

[Shoop]

I WAS talking to some friends about this recently...the "talk" that parents do to their kids. What did they say and what did you THINk about it? How old were you? What would you do differently?

My mom was a nurse and I always remember her talking about sex in a medical sort of way. Very factual, I don't remember a specific 'talk'. It was an 'on going' talk.

My friend (gay male) remembers his parents (devout catholics) having the "talk" with him and his (gay) brother and they said this..."a man and a women fall in love, get married, have sex and then a baby comes" (THE END). He said he was in grade 4 and already knew about sex anyways because he heard about it "on the street" from another kid when he was 6.

[ladylove]

I WAS talking to some friends about this recently...the "talk" that parents do to their kids. What did they say and what did you THINk about it? How old were you? What would you do differently?

My mom was a nurse and I always remember her talking about sex in a medical sort of way. Very factual, I don't remember a specific 'talk'. It was an 'on going' talk.

My friend (gay male) remembers his parents (devout catholics) having the "talk" with him and his (gay) brother and they said this..."a man and a women fall in love, get married, have sex and then a baby comes" (THE END). He said he was in grade 4 and already knew about sex anyways because he heard about it "on the street" from another kid when he was 6.

I remember alway being open and answering questions, but the questions get harder and you just know it's time. You don't want your child to learn it first on the "streets", you want to be the one to tell first. My husband and I sat down with him/her with a book for a visual, kid friendly, and had the talk. LOTS, and LOTS, and LOTS of questions to follow for a long time. Good luck.

[pinki]

Being Chinese, and coming from a very traditional family. Sex was never talked about in my household growing up, so I never had "the talk". And actually now that I think about it, I don't think my mom has ever talked to me about sex and I'm 24. There was an incident, where we got lost in translation. Her english isn't that good, and I was at the hospital at the time. And the nurse was asking the basic preliminary questions, do you smoke, are you pregnant, blah blah. I answered no to everything. Apparently, she thought I answered yes to the pregnant one and freaked out. That was when I was 21, and even then.. She didn't talk to me. She had my sister come and ask me if I was pregnant. But anyway.........yeah no talk here. And I turned out fine!!

[leslieanne]

No sex talk at all - just what to do when my periods started. On my own I discovered the book "Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask" - at least I had some idea what it was all about - that said it obviously wasn't enough since I ended up pregnant at age 17 (just before my 12th grade yr - all parties involved agreed that termination was the best options).

Fast forward 35 yrs - as an OB/GYN it's been an ongoing, open, factual conversation with both my sons since they were in the 5th grade. The conversation expanded to their friends on an as needed basis. So at this point I'm the go to person whenever there are questions or concerns.

While starting the "conversation" can be uncomfortable for many parents - IMHO it's a parental responsibility.

[angelkisses98]

My talk consisted of masturbation is dirty and wrong, and If i find out your having sex I will kick your ass. Thats it.

So, with my son, my husband and I decided to take a different approach and be open and honest. My son just turned 12, and the questions are flying. If there is something he does not want to ask me, he will go to my husband. Not only that, he has openly talked about puberty and what is going to happen in front of myself and a friend.

[shdowulf39]

never had one with my dad.for me it was all on the job training.probably alot much more fun that way also....lol

[mailahn97]

I never was talked to about sex at all. Probably why I lived such sheltered life for so long until someone had patience and cared abotu me enough to help me explore and learn. I am very thankful to him for that.

[angelkisses98]

My hubby is from Norway. When we got serious, he said his mom gave him a good talking to LOL..mind you he was in his 20's . She explained to him how most of the time, a woman can not orgasm from intercourse alone, and how she needs manual help ect..My hubby said he wanted to stick his fingers in his ears LOL

[ladylove]

I remember alway being open and answering questions, but the questions get harder and you just know it's time. You don't want your child to learn it first on the "streets", you want to be the one to tell first. My husband and I sat down with him/her with a book for a visual, kid friendly, and had the talk. LOTS, and LOTS, and LOTS of questions to follow for a long time. Good luck.

I should also say my talk was "Good girl from good families don't, so If you ever want to get married don't; and Ladies don't touch themselves".

So I was determined to give my kids the information.

[whitefang2002]

i learned most the sex stuff from my older sister. my parents were divorced and my mom worked all the time. so there wasn't really a huge opportunity for my mom to talk to me. i did find a book about sex at my dads house though and i read that in privet. i didn't really know about my period till i got it and i freaked out. it happened during school and the nurse was the one who told me that it was ok and so on. (hadn't had health class yet). i was in 7th grade and health class was the next sememster. haha.

I did learn alot from my health class. later on my family was way more open and now we can talk about everythign!

Once when i was taking care of my dad when he was sick he gave me the sex talk when my then bf was siting on the other side of the curtain. my dad didn't know he was there. but he was asking me if i really like him and i said yes. and then he went on to tell me to use protection cuz shit happens soemtimes....lol. (and i had my daughter already). I think he was a little late on the sex talk. but its ok. i still love him

as for that bf...when the "talk" was over i walked back to the other side of the curtain and i jsut started laughing. cuz he had to sit there and listen to the whole thing. we didn't want to embarrass my dad so we never told him.

I plan on being completely open to my daughter and any future kids i have. I want them to be prepared and not think that sex is wrong or that masturbation is dirty or anything like that. I want her to be comfortable coming to me with any questions she has.

[SensualWoman]

I had heard my mom when she and my then step-dad were doing the nasty, (this was when I was 7-8). So the next morning I asked my mom what they were doing and she just simply said, "making love". Of course I was a little confused because I thought, "you guys are already both IN love!". But she just kept saying that. So then because I wasn't getting my answer I asked my friend and SHE gave me "the talk". Then one day my little bro asked me what sex was and I told him it was when a woman goes, "Ahh, Ahh, Ahhh!" HAHAHA!!! So my mom stepped in and thought it was time to give us "the talk". She explained that the man's penis goes into in the woman's vagina. Right after she finished her "speech" my bro had the most terrified look on his face and asked earnestly, "Do you grow another 'one'"? We almost died laughing!! Poor kid was only 6!

[ohshelly]

My hubby is from Norway. When we got serious, he said his mom gave him a good talking to LOL..mind you he was in his 20's . She explained to him how most of the time, a woman can not orgasm from intercourse alone, and how she needs manual help ect..My hubby said he wanted to stick his fingers in his ears LOL

Awwwwww.............What a good mom! It may have freaked him out a little, but it is kind of sweet, really.

I like his mom!

[ladylove]

Awwwwww.............What a good mom! It may have freaked him out a little, but it is kind of sweet, really.

I like his mom!

My son's 23 and I still make sure He plays it safe..... He usually laughs and say Yea, Yea, Yea, we already had that talk, a long time ago.....

[sass]

I don't recall getting the talk - maybe I did but it could not have been very informative because I don't remember it. I do remember a video in 5th grade that was supposed to explain it all. It was ... very clinical. And I remember my parents giving me a medical book on the reproductive system. But I never heard anything about orgasims or g-spots or anything like that until later in life. I had sex long before I knew how to enjoy it, but by golly I knew technical description of everything.

[Sunday]

I don't remember ever having the talk with my parents and I don't remember having it in health class either. Hmmm....how did I find out about sex??? I don't remember.

No talk at home, but in health class the teacher was also our football coach and he was a cool guy. He was talking about STDs - "messing around with little Suzie Rottencrotch" and having to "tape your pecker back together with duct tape if you catch her shit." It wasn't very factual, but it was amusing. :D

[ladylove]

No talk at home, but in health class the teacher was also our football coach and he was a cool guy. He was talking about STDs - "messing around with little Suzie Rottencrotch" and having to "tape your pecker back together with duct tape if you catch her shit." It wasn't very factual, but it was amusing. :D

:lol: That's to funny! Probably scared you all brainless! :lol:

[Shoop]

So how many of you ladies remember your father's having the "other talk" with your bf's? Mine went a little something like this...."I don't care what you do or where you go as long as you keep it in your pants." Exact words may not be as so but I do remember the keep it in your pants part. haha. Dad said that to both my little sister and I and neither of us girls listened. We are such bad daughters.

ha haha, that is so funny. Really?

My parents weren't together so I never had the "dad influence" thing..which in a way I think effected me in other ways...but anyways, I never had THAT part.

[Shoop]

I had heard my mom when she and my then step-dad were doing the nasty, (this was when I was 7-8). So the next morning I asked my mom what they were doing and she just simply said, "making love". Of course I was a little confused because I thought, "you guys are already both IN love!". But she just kept saying that. So then because I wasn't getting my answer I asked my friend and SHE gave me "the talk". Then one day my little bro asked me what sex was and I told him it was when a woman goes, "Ahh, Ahh, Ahhh!" HAHAHA!!! So my mom stepped in and thought it was time to give us "the talk". She explained that the man's penis goes into in the woman's vagina. Right after she finished her "speech" my bro had the most terrified look on his face and asked earnestly, "Do you grow another 'one'"? We almost died laughing!! Poor kid was only 6!

Ok shit, that made me laugh out loud. I can see my kids saying something like that!

[RikaLovesDie]

I don't recall ever having the talk. I was a late bloomer in a lot of ways and didn't even start dating until I was in my 20s. I do recall learning most of my knowledge of sex from Hollywood (movies, not porn), which still affects me to this day. I was also raised in a very strict, religious family, so I wasn't even aware that masturbation was possible for women until I was 20 and a 15 year old girl on the internet explained it to me. -.- It was down hill from there. I lost my virginity at 22 and was pregnant by 23. When I told my mother I was pregnant I thought she was gonna kill me. I guess I could have blamed her for never talking to me about it, but she and I both know I'm smarter than that. Even if I was never told directly I always knew better.

My plan is to be upfront, factual and informative with my son, but I'm not how sure that's going to work out since I was fairly sexually repressed growing up and my husband is no better and we're currently struggling with our own sexual relationship. But my son is only just turning 1, so we have some time to figure things out.

[littlemissnonamegirl]

My parents are jerks.

Never had the talk, it's always has been and always be Don't ask don't tell.

If I have kids, I will always be open and discuss these important issues/lessons.

[sun_flower969]

My parents are jerks.

Never had the talk, it's always has been and always be Don't ask don't tell.

If I have kids, I will always be open and discuss these important issues/lessons.

Good!

Well for me the talk came after I overheard some conversation on the school bus. Some girl was telling another "where babies come from" She was saying that a "man takes his 'thing' and puts it in a girls hole and pees in there and then it makes a baby" I was like "YOU LIE!!!" and she said "My mother SAID!" So I saId "Well I am going to ask my mother because yours is wrong!!!"

So I went home asked and my poor Mom said, "Well not exactly..." and explained a bit, honestly I do not recall exactly what was said!

What I do remember is a general attitude that sex was for married people ONLY. It was for procreation and otherwise not discussed as being pleasurable or loving or anything like that. It was avoided as a whole honestly. I think they relied on the school to teach us that stuff! Boy am I NOT going that route!!

Except that I found some sex books in my mother's underwear drawer when I was about 13 which was sort of interesting!

[mystofpric]

Umm mom said i was clearly stressed out and that i should get laid. Dad flipped out and told me (after the fact) that it was something special to be saved and that he was too young to be a grandpa.

[tootall]

My Dad explained to me, on the eve of my moving out of the house, that my brother and I were "mistakes" and not to make any "mistakes". During the explanation he mentioned that we were both unplanned and thats what he meant by mistakes.

LOL

[D.dudge]

Yes, you are totally right. There is no other way to be sure. The next time we will talk about him coming here, I have to somehow mention the financial side but, to be honest, its easier said than done.... At least I will know where I stand.

[square]

I remember being about 6 or 7, my mom was ironing clothes, and I started asking questions. She explained it as the man and woman each carrying half a seed, I don't remember the doinking description but I think she went into it at least a little, the man's half seed goes into the woman, joins with her half, and that turns into a baby.

I asked, "do you have to get N-U-D-E ? " and she said "Yes." I was too embarrased to say "nude" so I spelled it out (must have been old enough to spell).

In my mind the only place in the house where you got nude was the bathroom, so for a long time I thought sex happened on the narrow, hard tile bathroom floor.

I learned a little more from my older sister (your dick gets hard from "thinking about sex" ), some from kids at school, some more more from sex-ed class in 7th grade, and a bit more from trashy novels.

When my son was 5 or 6 he started asking questions; I started with the half seed + half seed explaination. My daughters never really asked a lot of questions; maybe they picked up some of what I told the boy.

My wife does not seem comfortable talking to them about any of this, and seems to think they are too young. Either my wife or granny-in-law told my daughters that babies come out the belly-button; I had to correct that. My older daughter is a little chubby, and maybe it's just chubbiness, but my wife thinks she is getting boobs already (a little young, but still within the range of normal age). I told my wife she'd better tell daughter about periods so she doesn't freak out if she starts having them; she said she would and said she would, and finally said she did, but I don't think she ever did. A couple of months ago the kids were watching a commercial, and then asked, "Dad, what's a period." So I explained the basics of that to them. Then a few weeks ago my daughter came to me with a tampon (out of its plastic shell) and asked, "is this for the blood?" "Yes," I said, and she got mad and said, "Mommy lied. She said it was to make your skin soft." Apparently my son told her what it was for but she didn't believe him; I don't know how he learned and he either won't tell me or doesn't remember how he knows about such things.

I get mad that my wife isn't more open about this stuff, especially with the daughters. She's the woman, she knows more about woman workings than I do. But if she won't do it, I'll tell them what I can.

So far I have sort of put sex terms of "when a man and woman fall in love and GET MARRIED, and they do this thing to make a baby . . .;" somewhere along the way I figured I'd modify that to they don't have to get married first and don't have to do it only to make a baby. Haven't crossed that bridge yet.