Members Neuroticax Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 To you, how important is sex? Could your relationship survive without having sex? Could you live the rest of your life with someone who only has the urge for sex once or twice a year even though you both love each other? Could you depend on your toys for that long and still be happy in your relationship? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 There are so many what-ifs in this that I would hate to state an answer on either side of that one. Every circumstance and couple is different. My dads parents sleep in seperate rooms. Don't ask me why but I guess one or both figure they are too old to start over so they just distance themselves. Whatever their reason they aren't about to make it known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Quite some time back my wife and I had some pretty mismatched sex drives. I wanted it ALL the time, she was content with once in a great great while. This, amongst other things, put a strain on our relationship. We were very fortunate, however, that we were friends long before we were lovers. Our relationship reverted back to that friendship for the most part. So the answer is yes, I could, but without that physical and emotional connection that you get from being intimate, what are you but really good friends and roommates?Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 LOL! I asked the question out loud, and hubby's immediate response was "NO!" I'm not sure, depends on what else is going on, I'm finishing up nursing school, so before this semester, sex was really just something that got put on the backburner, thankfully, now it is off and on the front!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 No. Once or twice a year? No. That means there is a serious issue that goes beyong love. Now, that does NOT mean that I wouldn't try my hardest to find answers to what might be causing the lack of sex -talking, doctors, therapy - you know. If it didn't get any better, then I am afraid I might have to leave. Love is powerful, but sex is intimacy, and intimacy is important to me in that form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I have to agree with Mikayla. We are actually way too sexual together for me to even imagine that. I think we would eventually drive each other crazy! I believe it is a VERY important part of the realtionship - it is a BIG connection that must be tapped into more than one or twice a year, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Love is powerful, but sex is intimacy, and intimacy is important to me in that form.I agree. Any relationship requires intimacy on some level to be satisfying to me. A lover must have sex with me...that would be a requirement. Frequency depends on life circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 My best friend and his wife have not had sex for five years now. It is not a good relationship, but she seems to be content... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 You are way too young to settle for this. I had to go back and look at your profile. Hell you aren't even getting out of the gates yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jhard Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I prefer sex 7 times per day, but I'll settle for 3. A guy has to be willing to give in a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I guess it would depend on the situation. Now if my husband had an accident, and could no longer perform sexually, then yes, I could live without the real thing. If it was due to lack of interest, caring, or desire, after going thru all of the medical stuff and emotional stuff, then yes, I would leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 No way, sex is a big part of our relationship. Toys would never satisfy the emotional connection I need. We average sex about 5 times a week. I can't imagine not having it with him in some form or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I guess it would depend on the situation. Now if my husband had an accident, and could no longer perform sexually, then yes, I could live without the real thing. That is one of those what-if's I spoke of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I think it can be done (been in that boat for periods of time myself) and know alot of couples do live like that, but it's not good. A marriage should have more to it than just being good friends, co-parents, and roommates even though those are important aspects of the relationship. By not sharing intimacy together you will grow distant emotionally from each other whether you admit it or not. You are denying your basic emotional and biological needs and no matter how you try to justify it there is going to be anger and frustration. Now I'm not talking about a mis-matched sex drive here....it's one thing to get it but maybe just not as much as you want, and a completely other thing to go without for as long as you were saying. But at this point in my life I just don't see any benefit in playing the martyr or a saint and totally sacrificing that part of yourself just to stay together. I don't want to start a moral/religious thing here but I just don't think that God is going to punish us for being human and wanting/expecting to enjoy all the aspects of us being physical beings. A lifetime really goes by fast and you can't get back any of that time you sacrificed and did without....I don't want to be laying on my deathbed being pissed at myself for not taking advantage of my time here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted April 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Thank you for all your responses. Issues are a problem right now due to stuff. This -yearly- thing has not not happened yet, but getting close, there is talk. Hopefully over the next year when things settle it will get better. What are some strong natural remedies that boosts male sex drive in case it doesn't phase out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted April 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 I guess it would depend on the situation. Now if my husband had an accident, and could no longer perform sexually, then yes, I could live without the real thing. If it was due to lack of interest, caring, or desire, after going thru all of the medical stuff and emotional stuff, then yes, I would leave.My sentiments exactly... I mean I love my husband and God forbid if something were to happen to him I would stick by him no matter what. I believe my love is stronger than that. That is the only reason for me though. I have friends who only have sex like monthly, give or take. I see them as miserable, bickering all the time, lacking affection and not in love, in some ways, like they used to be. It's like something inside of them died. My H and I always hold hands, in Public and just sitting on the couch etc... It isn't about being "dirty or perverted" it is about intimacy and love. Enjoy each other! It is vital for a relationship. I refuse to let mine die!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie bsl58 Posted May 4, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Actually, I've spent most of my adult life in an almost sexless marriage. The first time was not by choice - I found out after 23 years that he is gay. Now it is 6 years later and I am again in pretty much the same boat for different reasons. My new husband is 16 years older than I and he has diabetes which has caused him to have ED. I did know about this before we married. I thought that he was willing to try more than what he has tried to overcome the problem, but he is reluctant to do more than pills - which usually don't work. Now he seldom tries or seems to have a libido at all.Marriage has so many varied and intricate factors to it that there is no "one size fits all" answer to the question of a sexless marriage. You would have to consider your age, your desires, your self-control, your ability to find some sexual satisfaction through other means, and, of course, how much you love your spouse and how committed the two of you are to each other. I will say that it is VERY difficult to be in this situation. The frustration can lead to moodiness and the temptation to place blame where there really is no blame. Unless you are very careful and self-controlled it can also lead to affairs. I've never been unfaithful, and I never intend to be, but it is hard not to drool when I'm around a friend that I'm particularly attracted to!By the way, this doesn't get easier with age (at least not for me)! It was much easier when I was young and I was so busy working and raising kids that I could distract myself from the problem. Now that the kids are grown and the job doesn't take up so much energy I have a lot of extra time to think about the sex I'm not having - that's how I found my way to this website. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 My sentiments exactly... I mean I love my husband and God forbid if something were to happen to him I would stick by him no matter what. I believe my love is stronger than that. That is the only reason for me though. I have friends who only have sex like monthly, give or take. I see them as miserable, bickering all the time, lacking affection and not in love, in some ways, like they used to be. It's like something inside of them died. My H and I always hold hands, in Public and just sitting on the couch etc... It isn't about being "dirty or perverted" it is about intimacy and love. Enjoy each other! It is vital for a relationship. I refuse to let mine die!!!My sentiments exactly, we are always touching or being connected physically somehow. We are publicly affectionate. I cannot understand the distancing emotionally and physically I see in some couples. It's sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 My sentiments exactly, we are always touching or being connected physically somehow. We are publicly affectionate. I cannot understand the distancing emotionally and physically I see in some couples. It's sad.I agree completely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shariana Posted May 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 My love and I are very close and every time we are together we have sex at least 2 times a day. However, I could and he could live without it. We love each other enough that we can just be together and be happy. He once said he'd go gay for me if I was a guy.... Not sure if I should be worried or touched there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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