Members schlingel Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 well all, now i've done it. i tried to be open and honest and explain to the wife what this site is about and how it really has helped (we're up to a total of 4 times, 3 just this week! - but who's counting). no dice. she claims it's as bad as cheating, with y'all. strange, since i've never given names or personal info, i think its silly that she would consider anonymous postings as cheating. so, as i see it i have two choices: do as i'm told (asked frimly) or continue w/o telling her. i really thought this was helping and its all great advice, since i really don't have other outlets, but she's against it.any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Are you sure she's not misunderstanding the nature of the site? You really should invite her to look here for herself and ask her to decide after she's taken a look around. We're a helpful bunch and very much here to help and give info. We're certainly not looking for any type of relationships here outside of a possible friendship or twelve. I think she needs to understand that before she passes judgement.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 I think she may just be misunderstanding the site, she might think that it's a dating site or like a crazy online orgy. Send her our way She'll see what's up. I think it's a very common assuption, we get some nuts in teh chat looking for some "fun". That would just be my guess though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Why should you have to give up anything? Isn't that a bit controlling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 bring her round...we will be nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Not only does she misunderstand the nature of the site, but she is definitely controlling AND insecure. There has to be trust in any good relationship, and she clearly does not trust you. If she did, then coming here for advice on how to spice things up wouldn't be a big deal and she would be grateful that she has a man who cares.I agree, bring her round, we don't bite....much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members schlingel Posted June 1, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Are you sure she's not misunderstanding the nature of the site? You really should invite her to look here for herself and ask her to decide after she's taken a look around. We're a helpful bunch and very much here to help and give info. We're certainly not looking for any type of relationships here outside of a possible friendship or twelve. I think she needs to understand that before she passes judgement.Randy.Thurisas my bad. i didn't mean to imply that every one was a desparate housewife here. i'm just rying to get her past the idea that this is some hi-tech swingers club. and yes, i've invited her to the site and given her the url - she's just not interested - at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members schlingel Posted June 1, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 ok all,i'll try again. i hope she takes me up on the offer. i really enjoy the openness on this site. let's see what happens.thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Thurisas my bad. i didn't mean to imply that every one was a desparate housewife here. i'm just rying to get her past the idea that this is some hi-tech swingers club. and yes, i've invited her to the site and given her the url - she's just not interested - at all!Then she isn't interested in truth before judgement. That doesn't seem to be a very good way to live a life, but to each their own. I wouldn't give it up and I would force the issue. I agree that she has no trust for you.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 This situation really is unfortunate... Sorry to hear this.I agree with everyone who posted before - encourage her some more to take a look. Who knows, she may claim to be against it, but really just be a bit embarrassed or mislead. She may look into the site when you aren't aware. Surely if she does, she will have a change of heart. I also have to agree that you shouldn't have to give up something that she won't even look into to see if she is truly against. It is judgemental, IMO. When I disagree with my husband, I know what I am disagreeing with... Good luck with this, and let us know what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 First Eddy, I am sorry she has the wrong impression, espically if it has helped your relationship so much.My SO had his own ideas when I first came on, but I did that same as others did, and had him read with me, or on his own.He isn't a regular reader, but now that he knows what it is all about, he isn't bothered by TT at all. If I come up with a new idea or technique, he chuckles and says 'been reading again?" He enjoys it that I take the initiave to keep things *interesting*.He has much more experience then I do, so he is good about keeping things spiced up for me. My sweetguy. Heck, I've gotten all sorts of advise on this site, from cars to how to remove stains. We aren't all about sex all the time.Invite her in, we will welcome her. We are nice people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 And you aren't 'busted', eddy. You aren't doing anything wrong.People use the internet to gain all kinds of information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 My fellow posters are spot on. However, I think you should go as far as sitting down with her rather than hoping she takes the initiative on her own. Also, you might try printing out some of the sex education articles or threads that really appeal to you. Perhaps by showing her this is an education driven site versus pillow talk she might get it. Have you forgotten what you came here for in the first place? Sexual Communication! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted June 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2008 Good Point Ginger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 I thought I'd bump up a few older posts, just to bring a fresh perspective to some people's concerns.I haven't seen this poster on here for a while, which is sad. Though I thought his topic was an interesting one.Personally, I don't think coming onto a site like THIS one is cheating. We're all mature adults, talking about sex, toys, and even our personal lives to an extent. We post what we're comfortable with. However, introducing your SO to a site like this, is tricky. Especially if you're trying to open your GF/wife to it. Women tend to be a bit more discreet about our sex lives (to strangers at least), and like to keep a lot of that private. So, telling your woman "hey I joined a sex-toy site" may not be the way to go into introducing them to it.How have YOU introduced YOUR SO to this site, or have you? Share with us your success stories in introducing your spouse to TooTimid! I'm sure it'd help some other posters who feel a bit "secretive". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EMO Posted March 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 I haven't been on here for too long, but right now I am not going to tell him. I really don't know why either. He's okay with using toys, and is not a prude...But right now I will keep this my little corner of the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Smile4Me Posted March 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Like cheating? Are you serious? No offense at ALL, but what planet did she reign from? It's a sex-toy website!! There must be some misunderstanding for sure. She can't possibly think this is your way of "straying" and if so, she is a very closed minded and judgmental person; not to mention controlling. Please be reassured, I'm not trying to offend anyone, I've just never heard anything like this before, and I've met some crazy jealous/controlling women before. Make sure you sit down with her, if she cares about you she will give you the time of day. Otherwise, I say screw it and post whereever and whenever you like. That kind of behavior just crosses the line to me. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Very good luck to you, sounds like you need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted March 28, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 How have YOU introduced YOUR SO to this site, or have you? Share with us your success stories in introducing your spouse to TooTimid! I'm sure it'd help some other posters who feel a bit "secretive".I told my SO flat-out about TT and other sites that I am a member of - some much more ... intense ... than TT. I told him about them when we first started dating so that I could see what he thought about them. He is now a TT member, too. I know this is different than being married, finding the site(s) and telling your spouse, but it's my story.As for the original poster's question - WOW - TT is cheating? Good gosh! I never would have thought anyone could think that, not anyone who spent five minutes on the site seeing what it is all about. I don't think I could have an SO that was that close-minded and controlling. It seems to me that if being a TT member caused a big riff in a relationship that there are other, much deeper, issues and concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Then she isn't interested in truth before judgement. That doesn't seem to be a very good way to live a life, but to each their own. I wouldn't give it up and I would force the issue. I agree that she has no trust for you.Randy.Either that or she's just plain old afraid....... I would ask her what is the harm in looking? If she refuses you, ask her sincerely what is she afraid of and what would the harm be? I would also bring up in a non-confrontational way that it is impossible for her to make an informed, intelligent opinion without seeing first hand for herself what this site is all about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted March 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 I know people who would claim that Playboy is cheating. I think the way a person introduces their partner to such variants weighs heavily on the outcome. I wouldn't call forums like this cheating except maybe a few of the people who have popped into the chat areas thinking this is a site full of cam-whores or something. From the first day I found this site I took it as a place to share my own experiences and glean from others. Anyone who would pass on the chance to learn and help others is an insecure fool IMHO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shariana Posted March 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 My ex was kinda sketched about me being on this site.... my SO now LOVES it! He hasn't been on, mostly because when he's home, he's talking to me.... but I will get him on here soon! =DHe loves that I get new ideas and suggestions here and that we will never get lost in a routine.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members christinaf085 Posted April 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 IMO you need to show her the site. BUT if you don't and continue to came here she will find out and she is going to be deeply hurt. while I don't think this site is cheating after scrolling through all the topics you can read/post in I see where she is coming from: we have a section for nude pics, and sexy stories and if your wife considers porn cheating then I think this will definitely be seen as cheating in her eyes. You need to be open with her, let her read what advice you are getting and what you are posting, and maybe share the username and password you have for the site with her so that you both can look together. if you have nothing to hide this will not be an issue, if you can't share it openly with her then i'm gonna have to agree with your wife (i dont know what else you have posted/looked at) it's definitely a from of cheating in my eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members raunchy_ricky Posted April 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Invite her on here, get her to pick a toy and you can buy it her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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