Members ginshreve Posted September 6, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 I have a new boyfriend, great guy, very sexy - with the stamina of a bull, truly an energizer bunny type - he keeps going and going and going.....all of which is well and good and very enjoyable.However - he does not enjoy oral! He tolerates it, he'll let me kiss, suck, lick, whatever - but pretty much just lies there. He has told me that he has only cum once or twice this way in his life (and he is mid 40's, plenty experienced). When I asked him how he came those times, what was different, he could not really give me any feedback that I could use to replicate the experience, and does not really seem interested in having me figure out how to make it good for him.He is also very quiet - I hardly even know when he has cum, he does not give me any advance warning or talk to me at all during sex - which I really miss, I really like verbal feedback about what is happening. I am working on trying to get him to talk to me.... And of course I am pretty noisy - one time he even stopped and asked me if I was okay, lol! I didn't mean to scare him - it just felt good and I need verbal release as well as physical, if that makes any sense.Any ideas about why a man would not enjoy oral, and how to make it enjoyable for him?Thanks all - I have really missed the forums when they were down for updating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Well, you can ALWAYS teach someone something new. However, sometimes, there are things that people have tried, that they just DON'T like. It IS possible for a man (and woman) to NOT like oral sex. I know of such a man (not my hubby). He's very sexual, loves to please his wife, but just doesn't like to recieve oral. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with him, or anything wrong with what you're doing. I know, it may sound odd for a guy, kinda like a woman NOT liking chocolate, but, it happens.Let him know that you want some verbal feedback, and enjoy communicating verbally during sex too. Keep telling him this. Also, keep doing that with him too. He may get the cue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ginshreve Posted September 6, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Has he came right out and said he doesn't enjoy oral? My man is not verbal and doesn't make any noise either. I find it kind of irritating because I want to know when/if I am doing something right. Much luck in changing it cause thats just his personality and he is not going to up and become vocal after that many years but things do happen. You pretty much just have to live with it and accept it. Does he even do any kind of dirty talk when you aren't actually engaging in sex? Mine doesn't so odds are your's probably doesn't either. I'm not sure why some men are like that. As for the oral part, I would say if he hasn't really said he doesn't enjoy it, then he probably does but since he is not a vocal person doesn't want to tell you what he likes or what feels good. Maybe he has only came from a couple of times because the woman who was doing it didn't complete it. Unless he tells you not to do it then just continue on how you are currently doing it.]Well, I guess he didn't say that he didn't like it - he just said he had never cum that way! I'll have to ask if he enjoys it even if he cannot cum.... But I guess I want him to be able to cum, too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TopCat Posted September 7, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Thump him in the nuts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tootall Posted September 9, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2009 I really enjoy oral but would much rather "finish" with intercourse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darth Jesus Posted September 9, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 9, 2009 I have a new boyfriend, great guy, very sexy - with the stamina of a bull, truly an energizer bunny type - he keeps going and going and going.....all of which is well and good and very enjoyable.However - he does not enjoy oral! He tolerates it, he'll let me kiss, suck, lick, whatever - but pretty much just lies there. He has told me that he has only cum once or twice this way in his life (and he is mid 40's, plenty experienced). When I asked him how he came those times, what was different, he could not really give me any feedback that I could use to replicate the experience, and does not really seem interested in having me figure out how to make it good for him.He is also very quiet - I hardly even know when he has cum, he does not give me any advance warning or talk to me at all during sex - which I really miss, I really like verbal feedback about what is happening. I am working on trying to get him to talk to me.... And of course I am pretty noisy - one time he even stopped and asked me if I was okay, lol! I didn't mean to scare him - it just felt good and I need verbal release as well as physical, if that makes any sense.Any ideas about why a man would not enjoy oral, and how to make it enjoyable for him?Thanks all - I have really missed the forums when they were down for updating!It's really hard to say what could be affecting him. My opinion is based on pure speculation, but I think it could be one out of two things. First, it could be that somewhere along the way he might've had a really bad experience with oral sex and now he relates oral with that particular moment in his life.Second, it could also be that he grew up in a super religious household and there could some unconcious guilt causing the lack of satisfaction.Either way I think that the best thing to do would be to flat out ask him. Assuming that you're comfortable enough in the relationship to do so. But like someone else said he may simply just not enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lxixboy Posted September 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 Assuming theres no psychological reasons (past bad experiences, moral hangups, etc), he may just feel like it doesnt do it for him. That might be bad to hear, but it could be true. Ive told my girlfriend when its good and when its not. Theres a huge difference between the experience being pleasurable and not. The older I get the more I find that oral has to be great in order to enjoy it. With intercourse, its very rare that its bad. Its not the same, for me anyway, with oral. Look for any feedback you can get about it, dont be afraid to get specifics. There are certain things that do it and things that dont do it when it comes to oral. For example, I find it to be a huge turn off when she has a hand that is not doing anything. That may sound ultra-weird, but when receiving oral there are many different things that can be touched/licked etc and when I feel like theres a missed opportunity I get turned off. Thats just me and very specific, but its something Ive told my girlfriend and we moved forward from there. Shes also given me very specific feedback as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crossroads123 Posted September 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 I at times have some trouble with recieving oral. I'm much older and we were raise up believing "good" girls don't do that. You may want to talk to him and see if there might be some of that hid in the old brain bucket.What's wrong with that boy???????????????????????????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 It's really hard to say what could be affecting him. My opinion is based on pure speculation, but I think it could be one out of two things. First, it could be that somewhere along the way he might've had a really bad experience with oral sex and now he relates oral with that particular moment in his life.Second, it could also be that he grew up in a super religious household and there could some unconcious guilt causing the lack of satisfaction.Either way I think that the best thing to do would be to flat out ask him. Assuming that you're comfortable enough in the relationship to do so. But like someone else said he may simply just not enjoy it.I agree with DJ and Chuck on this one.And like Chuck said....WHATS WRONG WITH THAT BOY?!??! My last gf had the oral skills of a journeyman master craftsman. She wasn't as vocal as you are tho. (I absolutely love a noisy gal as it helps me to get off)You may have to just learn to 'deal' with 'that'. Its unfortunate yes but thats life. You could try wiggling a finger 'round his brown eye when you think he's 'close'. Lotta guys will tell you they don't want you (or anyone) doing THAT to him. ALOT of them really DO enjoy that aspect but they confuse those feelings with gayness. Mikayla1 probably would be the expert in regards to this question of yours. Good luck girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Here a thought......Are you a hundred percent positive you aren't using your teeth in an uncomfortable way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie Linda_Or Posted October 4, 2009 Newbie Report Share Posted October 4, 2009 question for the girls ....... saw something in that other thread about wat do you prefer thought I would make up a poll how do you like to orgasm and why????OralIntercourseFingersToys visual library runtime error Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mudshark Posted October 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 4, 2009 question for the girls ....... saw something in that other thread about wat do you prefer thought I would make up a poll how do you like to orgasm and why????OralIntercourseFingersToys visual library runtime errorOk, I just asked my wife which choice is her primary. She said oral. Also gave me a big compliment on my pussy eating abilities, so my ego is inflated right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted October 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 4, 2009 As for the oral part, I would say if he hasn't really said he doesn't enjoy it, then he probably does but since he is not a vocal person doesn't want to tell you what he likes or what feels good. Maybe he has only came from a couple of times because the woman who was doing it didn't complete it. Unless he tells you not to do it then just continue on how you are currently doing it.Brandy might be on to something. Since he has the "stamina of a bull" he might need a specific stimulation to get off. If I'm on my third round in, say, 24 hours I really have to work at having an orgasm. I have to react to my own body's feedback and it would be impossible to tell someone else how to do it. If he's like that on the first round, then I can understand where he's coming from (so to speak - sorry for the pun). He could probably cum in your mouth if he was in control, holding your head and making the motions and hitting the spots that are good for him. If that's what you want, give him some oral and tell him to take over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CGEM Posted October 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 4, 2009 Hi Moontide,I don't know if there is or isn't something wrong with him but here's a thought: Could you maybe make oral sex something a bit over the top? A bit more kinky, perhaps? You could give him blowjobs - ten second tease or all the way - in inappropriate places or moments. That way, it maybe wouldn't be a part of your bed sex, but it might take another kind of permanent place in your sex life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ginshreve Posted October 21, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 Thanks for all the replies - as some of you suggested, I suspect there are "upbringing" issues that linger.... or maybe he is just one of those guys who just doesn't prefer it because he likes to be in control of the movement or whatever....To update, since this original post I had some minor surgery and was restricted from vaginal intercourse, so oral became the way to go, at least temporarily..... and despite my VERY best efforts, I could not get him to cum. I am sure no teeth were involved, as over the 40 min bj I wore blisters on my own top and bottom lip from where I was protecting him from my teeth.... I worked with one hand and or both hands on the penis as well, also teasing below the balls (I was afraid to try the nut-thumping thing, though!). I was into it and really wanted to pleasure him, but, honestly, I am sure I have never worked so hard with so little to show for it. There was one place where I thought he might be close, but it just didn't happen..... I had even re-read all of the "How to give good bjs" articles and posts and used those suggestions, too..... I would be really doubting my skills except that other guys I have been with have seemed to enjoy my talents.... Anyway, I do appreciate all the feedback and suggestions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted October 22, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 Maybe it's just not his thing, no pun intended. Very early in our relationship, now hubby told me he had never cum from a BJ alone. So, of course, when we got together, I was on a mission - and still am. Oh, he has cum many times as a result of oral, but never without a hand-job or something else being involved, too. He loves oral, but despite my best efforts, he hasn't cum from that alone. I have not, however, given up yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elise Posted December 30, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Maybe it's just not his thing, no pun intended. Very early in our relationship, now hubby told me he had never cum from a BJ alone. So, of course, when we got together, I was on a mission - and still am. Oh, he has cum many times as a result of oral, but never without a hand-job or something else being involved, too. He loves oral, but despite my best efforts, he hasn't cum from that alone. I have not, however, given up yet.My HB is similar. He tells me he much prefers to cum inside me. I learned over time that his glans just isn't very sensitive, so he needs the full length of his penis stimulated to cum. So on those rare occasions when I insist on him cumming in my mouth, I use one or both hands plus my mouth, and deep-throat him as much as I can. That's when I get out the lube and put a finger or two up his ass and massage his prostate, which gets me a mouth full of cum in a hurry.Have you tried stimulating his anus and prostate? If not, give it a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ginshreve Posted January 1, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted January 1, 2010 Have you tried stimulating his anus and prostate? If not, give it a try.With this particular boyfriend, no way - he tensed up when my fingers even wandered in that direction, I could feel it. He was just a very conservative guy all the way around, I guess!But I have moved on... to a new bf who loves all things oral and anal, and as I posted in another thread, I have not been able to successfully locate the prostate, even with my best efforts on multiple occasions... any suggestions? I did not realise it was that tricky to find... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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