Feeling Fat

[bazil323]

I've always been a healthy weight. I'm fairly tall, about 5'8" and last year I was around 150. Okay, okay more like 165. But then I went on birth control (got married and didn't want to deal with condoms). I choose Depo-Provera for the convenience, and I would probably end up forgetting to take the pill or to take it at the same time. Within 3 months, I had gained about 20 pounds! I am now about 210!!! So, okay, I don't look all that fat, but none of my clothes fit me anymore, and I don't have the money to completely replace my wardrobe. I avoid getting naked and looking at myself in the mirror. I want to loose weight, mainly because I don't feel as confident (which was not great anyway). But I also want to get healthier.

I have two major road blocks. 1. I have little will power to commit to a workout, and I don't like taking walks where I live. I live right at the edge of town on a dead end road, so if I want to walk I have to go past houses, and I feel self-conscious. 2. I have asthma, which is still hard to control. I've been on multiple medications for my asthma since I was an infant, and I have recently switched to Advair 250/50. Yes, the stronger Advair. It's still not completely under control, but it's getting much better.

I'm just feeling down because I don't feel as sexy anymore. Hubby doesn't really notice the extra fat, and he is still very much interested in me, but I don't find myself sexy anymore. The only advantage of this weight gain is that I went from a C cup to a DD cup. However, I also went up from a 34 band to a 36. Ugh, frustrating! The worst part is that I didn't notice, or refused to notice, the weight gain until I was 30 pounds heavier.

[jesso]

If you're unhappy, then do something about it. There is truly nothing sexier than a woman who knows she's sexy and feels sexy. There's lots of things you can do. For instance, if you have trouble committing to an exercise plan or walking in your neighborhood, try implementing something inside your house. There's a huge line of exercise dvd's on the market now. Yoga and Pilates are actually great for doing in small areas and can be very easily done inside your house. Don't give up!

This is not about you loosing weight. It's about you feeling good about yourself again.

[Tyger]

Yes, I too feel like I bought a ticket on the Fatty Express, so don't beat yourself up too much over it, cuz you're not alone. I'm resolved to get back into my jeans this year, so I have started dieting, and exercising once again. I have asthma too, and the cold air really does me in. Today, even on the computer, I have music going, have gotten up several times to boogie (I love to dance), clean, and move around. I also stretch out on the floor as much as I can. So, not only am I helping myself with all this stuff, the house is cleaner, and I'm in a better mood. There are ALWAYS ways to loose weight if you're healthy enough (thyroid working properly and such), you just have to look for them.

PM me if you feel like it.

*HUGS*

[hollybw]

Is there anyone you can do exercise with? Maybe even your husband? Having a partner to encourage you to stay physical keeps you motivated. That has always helped me.

Also, maybe even buying a few articles of clothing that fit your CURRENT body will make you feel better. It makes me self-conscious all day wearing clothes that are too tight! I have not been able to loose the last 10-15 lbs. of baby weight, and I finally started buying clothes that fit me NOW instead of then. It helps me.

BTW, your husband sounds like mine. He also does not care or seem to notice the extra weight. And that gives me a little more confidence, too. So try to remind yourself that someone does like the way you look!

[pappyld04]

BULLFUCKINGSHIT LADIES! (Excuse my French here please)! Since I'm the only man piping up at present I've got to tell you that this I "feel fat" theory disgusts me. I weigh in at the $1.50 range and could put one of you on my shoulders and one on each arm with a muscleman pose and not even break a sweat! (Good thing this is the R&R area so I won't get 86ed for cussing about this)! Women get overly obsessed with this weight thing and go to the more extreme sides of fad diets and BS surgeries to look like a 4" fencepost. Ladies please stop this game. You feeling fat is not the same as being obese. I will venture to bet that every man here has been caught in that bullshit fat trap and we have no real solution to this brain game. The reason I talk this way is that someone told my daughter when she was 10-11? years old that we was going to look like her mother who has gained about 100 +/- pounds since our divorce. My girl would eat and then go to the bathroom and gag herself to puke it back up. There was a period of a year or 2 that my girl was never allowed to go by herself after a meal just because of this. PLEASE, I SAY AGAIN PLEASE STOP THIS BULLSHIT!!!!!!

[hollybw]

I DO agree w/ you pappy. I have seen the same situation several times, and I truely feel for the people that turn to extremes such as regurgitation to loose weight.

I merely wanted suggest a few ideas and statements to make bazil feel a little better about herself. We as women (and men) should not be made to feel ugly or fat for our physical characteristics, but lets face it: we live in a society which prides convientional beauty. That is difficult to overcome...

[pappyld04]

Correct me if I'm wrong here but isn't the Dep the cause of this gain? And hollywood you are right about the society but it is also VERY MUCH in our own mind as well. Please see some of Tyger's other posts on this subject. I've plagarized her enough on this matter! LOL!!!

[whiskeywoman]

*AHEM*

If I may?

The problem is within ourselves, we allow society to deem what is normal and sexy.

They print the rags at the local checkoutstand with women who look like they might cut a man to shreds with their hipbones.

They plaster"LOSE 50 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS!" or "WHAT MEN REALLY WANT IN BED" or some other crock of nonsense.

We have infomercials about exersice stuff to help us get that "sexy six pack"

And diets to " help us lose those unwanted pounds" and they show a woman who went from a size 4 to a size 0 pant.

We have surgeons that can make us look like anyone we want for the right price.

And for what? so we can find another part of ourselves that we dislike? so we can obsess and fret that maybe our boobs are too small? that our smile is not white and bright enough?

That our hair is not shiny or soft enough?

That our eye color is wrong?

FUCK THAT SHIT!

We are only human, I have yet to meet someone who is the same size as the other, sure you can get 50 people in the same room, and they all may

wear the same pant or shoe size, but there is always going to be somethng that they dislike about themselves.

Thats just the way it is.

Obsessing and fretting over it is only going to make it worse.

If you are a comfort eater, you will feel badly about the weight and continue to eat to make yourself feel better, and youll gain more weight, and you will begin a nasty cycle that is hard to break.

Trust me, I know, I am still working on breaking it myself.

You need to stop ragging on yourself, if you don't and you continue to obsess and worry over it, youll have made yourself to 300 pounds in your own mind, even if you only weigh 150 in the real world.

And this can lead to extremely dangerous habits.

I have seen people that were bulemic in school, they had worked themselves mentally into weighing 500 pounds, when in reality they only weighed 85 pounds.

I also know that if you will not do anything about it, nothing will change.

And winter is a very bad time to start a excersize routine.

You go into a gym, get all warmed up and sweaty, go outside in the cold and freeze, and it hinders your wanting to go out and do it again.

For me, I plan on getting all the exercise I could possibly want or need this spring.

Coralling the cow for transport for breeding, wresting the sheep for shearing, helping to rebuild the chicken coop, etc.

Sometimes the best exercise is when you arn't exercising.

[Tyger]

LOL Pappy! Yes, there have been many people that I've known personally, as well as studies that have shown that women do tend to gain weight while on Depro-vera. And it's a harder weight to take off, but it's possible. I don't mind you repeating me at times, if the advice helps someone, that's what I put it out there for. I'm glad you find it worth repeating!

Thank goodness that, even though I do feel fat, and don't fit into my clothes anymore (sorry Pappy, but I do, and no, it's not a game, BS, or a cry for attention), I know that I do need to exercise more, eat better, and try harder. So, that is what I am doing. I hate throwing up, so I won't become bullimic. I'm sorry your daughter went thru that, though it IS common for young girls to become that obsessed. Thankfully, I have age and wisdom on my side (as well as the EWWW factor about throwing up).

[Amylynn920]

I am a plus size woman, I have curves and I'm sexy as hell. Am I what society calls "average"? HELL no. But who set the standards? Who defines beauty? I have large beautiful breasts, I have hips, I have curvy legs, I have a great smile and killer green eyes. That's what my husband sees. What I see is a woman.

I don't play the numbers game, but for those that ask I'm a 16-18. I stand 5'3 and I get told everyday that I am beautiful. And you know what? I am. I love me. I want to get healthier in 2008, for my son and my husband. But ladies, love yourselves for the beautiful woman you are inside. You are NOT a number. A dress size and a scale number do not define you.

[Mikayla1]

WOW...this is one of the fastest growing threads I have seen in a while....

I agree with a lot of points....Whiskey, I totally agree - who MAKES the "standard" of what is beautiful, fat, skinny, etc? The media of course! I think that there is a giant leap between 'fat' and 'unhealthy.'

I too also hate the size 4 people who scream FAT....obese is obese, fat is fat, chunky is chunky and SKINNY IS SKINNY!

Let me tell you my story. OK, I was ALWAYS very, very athletic as a younger person. Never made it past 125 pounds soaking wet. Was a cheerleader, softball, soccer, took up yoga and I was a runner. Kept the weight at bay pretty much my whole youth. That picture in my profile, or my avatar, was about 9 years ago now, so still not bad, probably about 130 -145 there. Healthy. Then I had my first child. I, like many, decided I was pregnant, so I was going to eat. Why not, I can run the pounds off, right? WRONG. Gained 50 pounds, lost about 20, then kept on the other 30 for a while. Started running like a fiend, eating like a rabbit, took up Yoga again, lost 20 of the 30 - not bad. THEN I got injured. Some idiot ran me down trying to catch a bus while I was working downtown. I broke my ankle, tore some ligaments and ended up in a cast for 9 weeks. During that time (and a considerable amount of time after) I could not run, walk, exercise in any way. I again packed on the pounds. I can't tell you how high it got, but I was disgusted.

Then, finally, I started to run again. The pounds dripped back off and I lost most of what I gained (but still kept on some) and that was OK with me then. Got pregnant again, had a TERRIBLE pregnancy - couldn't do much of anything, was on bedrest - and sex was my only exercise. Gained MORE weight.

It has been 4 months since baby #2, I have started swimming (as my ankle does not support the running any longer - have arthritis in my knee and ankle). Use an eliptical. Do weight lifting, watch what I eat. Still have a long, long, long way to go - it is hard, hard, hard.

I used to be 'miss skinny' who complained when I gained a pound. I was a jock, so it was easy to stay thin. Now I am singing a different tune. Oh sure, I can still do about anything, play with my boys, be a soccer coach, swim, walk, jog (sort of) - I am not by any means "affected" adversely by the weight. What I am is determined to loose it, and my new after baby metabolism is denying me much progress.

Luckily, my hubby has ALWAYS loved me and told me how sexy I am. Even 9 months pregnant he called me beautiful. I look at that avatar picture and think that it was a different time and universe. Will I ever be that way again?

I can not let myself get down about it. Beauty DOES come from the inside - at least partially - and confidence goes miles when it comes to feeling sexy. I know that I am loved by my hubby and my friends. I know I am not debilitated by my weight issue. I know most of the weight will slowly come off. I too do not like that some of my clothes don't fit - but I will not relent!

AND....if the weight stays....oh well. I have great blood pressure, my sugar is good, I can take care of my family....what more can I do?

We women have to realize that those stick persons on the infomercials aren't real. They are not representative of society. We also have to make sure that we are healthy and not worry so much about being thin - or being too fat. For some people, 50 pounds overweight is still super healthy, for others, being even 15 pounds more puts them into a diabetic coma! Be healthy and be happy, and get exercise just so you are doing your heart and lungs good. Do not overeat, do not smoke or drink excessively - just try to be the best YOU that you can be!

[pappyld04]

LOL Pappy! Yes, there have been many people that I've known personally, as well as studies that have shown that women do tend to gain weight while on Depro-vera. And it's a harder weight to take off, but it's possible. I don't mind you repeating me at times, if the advice helps someone, that's what I put it out there for. I'm glad you find it worth repeating!

Thank goodness that, even though I do feel fat, and don't fit into my clothes anymore (sorry Pappy, but I do, and no, it's not a game, BS, or a cry for attention), I know that I do need to exercise more, eat better, and try harder. So, that is what I am doing. I hate throwing up, so I won't become bullimic. I'm sorry your daughter went thru that, though it IS common for young girls to become that obsessed. Thankfully, I have age and wisdom on my side (as well as the EWWW factor about throwing up).

Tyger, I saw your Lone Star picture and you are nowhere even close to being fat. I know this won't change your feeling on this matter but it's my absolutely honest opinion. But I am only one opinion so go look at the replies you got in the picture area. You didn't get any that said you were in need of anything like diets, exercise, ???. You should know that what you said about a woman's state of mind does effect how others view them and I was hoping to get some of the newer people to search for your post on this matter. A bit of motivation, so to speak. I threw my girl into the picture because of the way that this sort of discussion does have an adverse effect on MANY people. Young, old, male, female, intelligent, and everyone else. I hope you didn't think I was attempting to insult you or any of the other ladies who were talking about this here. I know that it will always happen with women of all ages but I did want everyone to see that it can effect others that weren't even in the conversation. Letting others dictate what is right for you or I is just WRONG. We should be the ones that decide what is right for us. This topic, more than any I know of, causes problems more in the minds of the younger generation and IMHO it is time to stop this. It is definitely one that hits close to my home and that is the main reason I am so against this thought. I do see the self-image part of it also but it is not worth the things that can happen because of this. Ladies, I have seen pics of some of you and can say you are beautiful. Most of you have more going for you than the external beauty also. I just wish you would all find a balance in there somewhere.

[ToyQueen]

Well, I have lost a lot of weight over the last couple of years. I have more to go, but most of the time I feel pretty good about myself. I worked hard to lose what I have, and I can accept that I will never have the body I had when I was 20.

But, tonight I went shopping. First, I didn't like the styles available. Second, things don't fit. It doesn't matter that I HAVE lost weight. Nothing is made to fit short, fat women. At this point, I am ready to live in my nightgown. At least then no one else sees me.

[Tyger]

Pappy, darling, that's not ME. LOL That's a girl on the site, KraziKris. I have nude pics of me, but, they're from almost 7 yrs ago. There goes MY ego................ I was but the photographer.

[brandyfan411]

Sweetie, let me tell you. I' 5'4" and I'm supposed to be overweight for my age (I believe I'm at 150. Being short, that's not so good but whatever). I'm 18 and have serious strech marks running all over my thighs, dark ones at that. I have asthma so bad sometimes that I walk around with my nebulizer strapped to my back. I don't excersize one bit and I LOVE to eat.

....I AM SO SEXY I'D MARRY MYSELF IF I HAD THE CHANCE!! WHY DO YOU THINK I ENJOY GIVING MYSELF PLEASURE!?!

ROFL, I never avoid myself. I am VERY comfortable being who I am because it's me! Whenever there's a mirror, I'm in it and look pretty daggon good. I wear my PINK "Victoria Secret" Sweats that accent my curves and I work it! Appreciate every curve and/or lump you have. Everyone doesn't have to be skinny. Be very happy that you have a loving husband who likes what you have. Just own it and make it work! You are sexy honey!

[chloegirl]

edit

[littlemissnonamegirl]

Don't ever feel self-conscious about yourself or your weight.

I mean the common misconception to losing weight is to eat less, work out more (someone prior did say this i know.)

I guess if you're unhappy just eat healthy and think of innovative ways to keep active that doesn't neccessarily scream like weight lifting or whatever. I mean turn some music on and jam out or make up some of your own exercises that feel good. I dance, and I find the best way to stay in shape the healthy way is just listening to your body and taking care of it.

You sound beautiful just the way you are, and your husband is right, you're gorgeous that way. I mean if you feel you need to lose whatever, just make sure it's healthy and for yourself and that you're going to be happy.

If you have any questions just msg me, I am majoring in PT and have been doing a lot of classes in fitness.

(: take care

and like brandyfan said,

work it! hehe

[pappyld04]

Pappy, darling, that's not ME. LOL That's a girl on the site, KraziKris. I have nude pics of me, but, they're from almost 7 yrs ago. There goes MY ego................ I was but the photographer.

OOPS! I really thought that was you. I had seen kris's profile pic and would never have guessed that to be her. And since I have not seen a pic of you so no need to be insulted there I hope. You are a hell of a photographer I must say!

[Tyger]

OOPS! I really thought that was you. I had seen kris's profile pic and would never have guessed that to be her. And since I have not seen a pic of you so no need to be insulted there I hope. You are a hell of a photographer I must say!

It's ok, no worries. Thanks for the compliment. There is one pic of me, under the photo section, where I'm dressed as Catwoman, but other than that, I don't think I have any pics of me on here. I like taking the pictures, not getting mine taken! LOL

[pappyld04]

Loved your movie, Halle! LOL!!!

[Tyger]

[pappyld04]

Wait a second, wasn't that you with the tattoo an your back?

[bazil323]

Thanks everyone! I couldn't believe how many replies there were!

I'd just like to clarify a couple things: 1. I gained a bunch of weight and then got depressed and then gained about 10 more pounds. 2. I can come to grips with the depression, and no longer feel that way. I do feel frustrated and sad sometimes, like anyone else, but I no longer am "depressed." 3. I am acutely aware of the risks and benefits of each medication and have researched them extensively before I asked to be put on them. 4. Based on Body Mass Index, I am overweight/obese. Due to family history, I am already at risk for high blood pressure. 5. My asthma is extremely hard to control, and it is just starting to get under control. So, I get out of breath when I go up 2 floors on the stairs.

My mom started nursing school when I was 11, and even before that, she was interested in a healthy balance. So I know all about being healthy and the risks of obesity and of being too thin. My goal weight is 150 (I'd be happy with 140 too ), which is very reasonable for my height. I've never had a problem with my weight before. I was on the heavier end of my age/height score, but healthy. My weight stayed about the same for years without me doing any dieting or exercising beyond my normal chores, etc. So the shock of gaining all that weight in such a short time was kind of an overload on my system. I'm okay with it now, but I do feel frustrated that I let my self go so long. It would have been much easier had I only opened my eyes when I'd suddenly went up 3 pants sizes!

[pappyld04]

I wasn't aware of the asthma or possible other risks there. You really have to be careful with any dieting to keep from affecting your health problems. I hope you find a balance that suits you.

[crossroads123]

I'm Not sorry!!!!!!! My wife of less than a year is 5'10" and about 250 and I LOVE every inch of her from her greying hair down to her sexy size 10 feet!!!!!!!

She has gained about 45 lbs and stopped dyeing her hair since we married, so she is Not the woman I married, she is better and I love her more today than EVER! She is one of the Sexest woman I have ever known!!!!!!!!! I know she may not be the worlds ideal of a sexy woman but they are not in the bed with this wonderful woman. She is a retired nurse who has a medical condition that prohibits much exercise and she loves snacking.

You may ask about me I'm 6'2" 215 a retired USMC CSM who has wedded and bedded woman all over the world. I tell my wife everyday is beautifull and I love her and mean it what I say. We all don't fit into the fashions world ideal of what we should look like. IMHO learn too love yourself for who you and Not what you are what someone else thinks you should be. You have to love yourself FIRST!!!!!