Members bigdaddy Posted December 6, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 6, 2005 I am married, and was wondering if the ladies think its ok if there hubbys have a girlfriend?Mine dont mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sexysandra Posted December 7, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I say it is not O.K.sexy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted December 7, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I guess you don't mind if your wife has a boyfriend or sugar daddy then? In my opinion, why the fuck is someone married if its ok to have a bf or gf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crazy1 Posted December 7, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Telecom, I cound't have said it better myself. You are MARRIED unless you think that means you are only legally able to file taxes together, you might have heard something about cleaving only to your spouse and none other......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jrinmontco Posted December 7, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 The general or correct answer to this question is NO. It is not OK (with society) to have a girlfriend if you are legally married. Evervbody's situation is different though. There are couples that are happily married where one partner is no longer interested in sexual activity. That is where the problem is... My situation is such a story...I am happily married to a sweet, wonderful woman that I would not be interested in getting divorced from her because she is not interested in having sex. She's going thru the change of life and has no sex drive at all. Not that she doesn't give me sex at all. She does...just not very often. She gets to a point where she feels guilty for not putting out and she feels sorry for me having to rub one out so she'll let me have my way with her and put up with it just to try and keep me happy. I know a couple that she is in the change too. They are still very much in love. She has no interest in sex and tells him, "Go find a girlfriend if you feel the need. Just leave me alone". So, he did. I have too but my wife does not know. I know it makes me a slime but if I tell her I have a dirty girl on the side, I lose her. If I tell her I need more and she just can't accommodate me, I could lose her. Life can be cruel but there are times when a compromise has to be made. A GF on the side just for the sake of a GF on the side just doesn't seem right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted December 7, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I say ABSOLUTELY NO! There is a differentiation between a "girlfriend" and having an affair, both of which are wrong if you are MARRIED! Having a girlfriend implies that your wife knows that you have her, and then therefore you are just getting some on the side. This to me implies that either a) your wife also has someone on the side or your wife doesn't have very good self-esteem. Why share your husband with another woman? On another point, why do you need another woman? What is missing from your marriage that you need to supplement? Surely you don't fancy yourself as such a "stud" that it takes more than one woman to satisfy you! If you did see yourself as such, then you should have never gotten MARRIED!Now, if you have a mistress, I would say that this is equally as wrong, but at least does not imply consent on the part of the wife. Now, I realize that some couples do the "swinger thing" and I just don't get that. However, to each his / her own. My overall consensus is that married people should stick with their spouses. If they are unhappy and can't fix things, then get OUT, don't cheat, and by the grace of all that is HOLY...don'd humiliate and disgrace your wife by insisting you have a girlfriend on the side. It is just embarrassing and wrong for her to be put in that situation in the first place. Shame on you! Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members torinasia Posted December 8, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 At first, this seems like an easy question to answer. And of course that answer is NO. Married people, and BTW not only married people but couples going in a steady relationships, should stay together and not cheat.One reason is the moral issue and I guess I am kind of oldfashioned there. No cheating. The other reason is that it seldom works out the way you hope it will. Maybe you say to each other it is OK, we love each other, the other affair is just sex, we are open about that and so on . But that is seldom the truth. Because behind those words there is often someone that gets hurt or feel very awkward. And remember that there are three persons involved, this extra boy- or girlfriend also have feelings.But the life sometimes take tough turns. Say that something dramatic happens in your life, and I am sorry JR, that to me that not just means that your partner still have sex with you but not quite as often as you like , but say that one partner suddenly totally lose the lust or the ability to have sex.But you still love each other, have a long history together, kids and so on. And you still want and need to be together.Should the one with the sexual needs then stay in celibacy forever, doing lonely handjobs?Say that your partner has an accident or stroke or ends up in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck and down. And you still love him/her very much and remember what you promised God and the whole world when you married, stick toghetfer for better or worse til death do you depart?The unlucky one in the whhelchair may feel, on top of all other agony,very unhappy that their partner, besides all the sorrow and work taking care, also is denied a sexife?This is kind af a dramtic turn, I know that, but it is just to stress the question. In that case maybe it is the best for both parts if there is a boy- or a girlfriend, or even a "professional help" involved?So like with most things there are very seldom an absolute yes or no. That is what makes life such a challenge. And you need a lot of knowledge before you can judge people.Tor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cinders Posted December 8, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 I have a friend who has had girlfriends most of his marriage. After his daughter was born, his wife announced that she was no longer interested in having sex, gave him some story about having a medical problem, and told him that if he had to have sex, he could find it somewhere away from home. She keeps the house for them, cooks for him, and has a job she goes to each day. He is self employed. The daughter is grown and married, and dad continues to see one woman regularly, and other women occasionally, particularly if he and his steady gf are fighting. The gf has other boyfriends she sees now and again, and the two have been carrying on like this for more than 25 years. This kind of relationship is not of my liking, but these people have made it work for them. I can't believe his wife does not know he has girlfriends, because he often comes home very late, or the next day, and sometimes not for a couple of days. She never asks him who he is seeing, and he doesn't tell her. Perhaps ignorance is bliss. I would have to say it depends on the relationship...some people like that..others may not..and the word girlfriend can mean different things now...a girlfriend could be a friend that he likes to talk to and have a platonic relationship with..just because she is a woman doesn't mean they have to have sex. There is always the possibility something could happen. Anyway, I guess I would have to say I wouldn't like my bf to have a gf so i guess my answer would be no.Cinders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members silviainoffice Posted December 9, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2005 I would have to say it depends on the relationship...some people like that..others may not..and the word girlfriend can mean different things now...a girlfriend could be a friend that he likes to talk to and have a platonic relationship with..just because she is a woman doesn't mean they have to have sex. There is always the possibility something could happen. Anyway, I guess I would have to say I wouldn't like my bf to have a gf so i guess my answer would be no.CindersGood answer there, because so far no one has asked what "girlfriend" really means. I have a lot of boyfriends, with whom I do not have sex. Some of them are really good friends.But if it means girl/boyfriend like sexpartner it is a different thing.But I gues there is no easy answer.If everyone involved think it is a good solution, well the who can really judge?But my experience is that it is not often that it is OK with everybody. Very often someone gets seriously hurt while some other in that triangle is acting like an real assholeSilvia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crazy1 Posted December 9, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 9, 2005 There is kind of standing defintion as to what BF/GF means. If you say I have a friend, that is onething, no body cares if it is male or female. But the added conotation of girlfriend/boyfriend makes a differential. You are stating that this person is of such note as to be reffered to as my girlfriend or boyfriend. see? Example: Most times when people are relating a story, it goes something like this. I have this friend, or female co-worker, guy friend, this woman I have been friends with since like forever....ect...people don't often label boyfriend or girlfriend unless there is something sexual implied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members buttman331 Posted December 10, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 HELL NO! Those vows mean that you have given yourselves over to each other completely and if thats the case there is no room for anyone else. If she is not giving you everything you need then you need to figure out how to fix that with her, maybe its because you are not giving her everything she needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crazy1 Posted December 10, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 10, 2005 AMEN BROTHER buttman.....ok, well maybe that was not the right place for an amen, but I do agree with you 100 percent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scout Posted December 26, 2005 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2005 HELL NO! Those vows mean that you have given yourselves over to each other completely and if thats the case there is no room for anyone else. If she is not giving you everything you need then you need to figure out how to fix that with her, maybe its because you are not giving her everything she needs.Oh! ABSOLUTELY! you took the words right out of my mouth! If your spouse is not meeting your needs, then it's time to seek outside help and communicate to each other and get the problem fixed. I realize that there are plenty of women out there that for some reason will sleep with a married man - not fair to them or anyone else. And the same goes for any woman, sleeping around on her husband...it's dishonest, it's cheating. If you want something else - then get out of the marriage! or end the relationship...Scout Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sexxxikittie Posted February 19, 2006 Members Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 I have to say that NO it is not okay for you to have a girlfriend on the side. If you are married then you need to address what the real problem is. If you say that you are looking for a partner to replace your wife for sex, why are you still married?Maybe I am old fashioned, but I believe that sex is an important part of a healthy marriage. If you argue that you are together because you have children, I understand that it can be difficult, but what type of marriage are you showing your children if you & your wife cannot share that closeness that comes when you give yourself to another person completely. My mom explained to me when I was a teen that my father made love to her by just bringing her morning cup of coffee. To me it is the little things that you do that also make the sexual part of a marriage work, a touch, a look, a gesture. If you are not having sex and are looking for it elsewhere, what other signs are you not sending out? Children are not totally naive, they know when things aren't "right" between their parents.I can say that I met someone in a chat room, he was very nice, and quite handsome. We did chat quite a few times and he even broached the subject of meeting. I was quite charmed by him, but when I found out that he was married, the point was moot. Eventhough I was very attracted to him, I would not want to be the "other woman," even if his married sex life, as he said, was non-existent for a while. It would not be fair to myself, his wife, nor to his family. I am sure that there are plenty of people out there that have no problem with being the person on the side. But as for me - a vow is a vow, and if you aren't happy at home, then you need to leave. Why stay married if you aren't really happy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ang13n6 Posted March 9, 2006 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 i don't think it's okay to have a boyfriend/girlfriend while you are married! Sooner or later it will cause alot of problems down the road...whether it's jealousy ...time being spent with the others...having children involve and knowing about it can be very hurtful and embarassing to them! It's WRONG! A big NO NO! What do you do ?....get togehter amd compare notes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sexykitty Posted March 19, 2006 Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2006 BIG DADDY YOU SAID SHE DOESNT MIND IF YOU HAVE A G/F WELL THEN SHE MUST HAVE A B/F ......IF SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT....HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU FOUND OUT SHE HAD ANOTHER......BUT YOU WOULDNT FEEL TO GREAT....PROBLEY ASKING HER (OR YOURSELF}) WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT YOU DONT.......IF YOU WANT A G/F WHY DONT YOU TWO JUST SPLIT UP??? OR DOES THAT MAKE THE G/F THING LESS INTERESTING AND BORING TO YOU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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