He Almost Raped Me, Should I Forgive Him?

[ameliamaples]

I have been with me boyfriend now for almost two years, we have a beautiful little girl together and I love him to death. But when I was six months pregnant he started hitting me and getting extremely violent with me. He knows that I won't deal with it any more and if it happens again that I am leaving him. So he has gotten a better grip on himself, but two weeks ago he got really drunk. He was blacking out and doesn't remember what happened but while he was drunk we were having sex, I was sober completly and just wanted a normal session. But it turned into anything but that, he started getting rough with me and I told him to stop but he wouldn't and he was hurting me, so I started screaming for him to stop but still he wouldn't so I figured maybe I let him finish he would just leave me alone so I relaxed. Then he flipped me over and I knew what he wanted but I didn't want to give it to him so I started fight ing him and he fought back. I kicked and screamed but he got me over and put lube on me and penetrated my anus. I fought away from him and screamed and he stuck his hand in my mouth to silence me and I bit it as hard as I could and he came back to his senses. But I flipped out and I'm still afraid of him even though I know it was the alcohol. Am I stupid for staying with him now, or should I continue to try even though he takes no reponsibility for what happened and he knows how my father was with me? Should I work thru this with the man I love or should I give it up because this is unfixable?

[trickychick]

Hi, after reading your other post, do you think this is why you dont want to have sex at the moment?

I really dont know what to suggest having not been in this situation, but to me that sounds bad. You, him and baby....it sounds bad. I left (moved and set up a new life) my man for a much smaller thing than that, but similar, and the problem was a lack of communication. Now solved, through ongoing communication.

Sometimes getting drunk can be an excuse, and it could be both of you are using his dunkenness as an excuse, him to get this dissrespectful sex and then say 'but I was drunk' and you to 'excuse' him because you love him and he was drunk. Just because you dont feel like having sex doesnt mean you should forgive him for being so out of control, either.

Also loving a man to death does not mean he will love you the same, however upsetting that may be to you.

Either get rid of him or get some serious communication going. If communicating doesnt work, get rid of him. So sorry if thats not what you want to hear, who wants to hear that?

Abuse breeds abuse, dont do that to your child, you seem to hint at your fathers behabiour being somewhat wrong to you? Please stop the cycle.

Hopefully others will give you more eloquent advice, but thats what I think.

Best wishes xxx

[whiskeywoman]

Let me get this straight, he beat you when you were pregnant with his child, ad your still with him because..?

I don't care if he is God in or out of the bedroom, the first time a man lays his hand on me in ANY violent form, he is gonna find himself knocked on his ass and me heading out the door.

the one and only man who hit me found himself on the floor unconcious because I brained him with a frying pan.

If he has shown violent behavior in the past, it WILL rear it's ugly head again, you can put money on it.

my advice, pack your stuff, pack your daughters stuff, and get the hell out of dodge while you can.

If you don't, when is your daughter going to become the focus of his anger?

she can't fight back, she can't beg him to stop or walk away from him.

That kind of violence can kill her.

Ask yourself, are you prepared to bury a child?

Are you prepared to face the heartache every day?

Could you look yourself in the mirror every day?

Pack your bags, he did it once, he will do it again.

[nosleepnmesa]

WOW, Okay he beat you while you were pregnant, Oh my does this bring back serious memories to me. Why are you still with him? You also stated that he has his temper in check now, well let me tell you that is just like you said NOW.

OKay now he gets drunk and doesn't listen to you in bed, and does exactly what he wants without you in mind at all. Big problem there. I was with my daughters father for 3years, he also use to hit me and BEAT me. He would get drunk and be rough in bed sometimes and not care if he was hurting me nor care at all about anything but himself.

There are better men out there. Would I forgive him, NO. Is being drunk an excuse for what he did?NO. Has he hurt you before?YES.

I forgave my daughters father numerous times, and let me tell you. One day I came home from work and he was drunk, and for no reason at all decided it was a good time to beat me. He ALMOST KILLED ME, he broke my back in 6 different places, I was at the time pregnant with my daughter. I spent 2 months in acoma, when I woke from acoma I had an officer standing above me and there were to armed officers also outside my door.

Also my x (who is dead now)tied me down one time and did exactly what he wanted no matter how much I begged for him to stop etc.. So is it rape, YES!!! You said no, NO MEANS NO, and STOP MEANS STOP.

Bottom line is and I am sorry if this sounds horrible or out of line. Should you forgive him? NO

I highly agree with Whiskeywomen and her questions! I have no room at all for men or anyone who take abuse and say oh it was an accident! NO being drunk, sober, doing drugs is NO excuse for anything. It is this simple he drank it, he has a history of beating you, yes he basically raped you and didn't care. Get AWAY from him, before you or your child or someone gets seriously hurt. I am sorry if this sounds very harsh, but I have THANK GOD lived to tell others my story. The decision is yours of course, this is just my outlook and opinion.

Get OUT!!!!! There are numerous places that will help. I know alot of them regardless of what state you live in, if you would like some info please feel free to PM me.

Good Luck to you!!!

[Mikayla1]

THIS MAN RAPED YOU!

Being intoxicated is NEVER an excuse - nor is being with someone in a relationship or having been with them previously. I was raped by an ex - who still thought it was his "right" to fuck me. I went to the police and had him arrested - it IS RAPE!

LEAVE HIM! This will NOT get better. Believe me when I say this, if any man would touch a woman in a harmful way at any time - they are bad news. Any man who would harm a PREGNANT woman is evil! ANY man who would claim to love you and then beat you is a coward and a snake amonst other things.

Do you want this man to beat your child? If you do not care about what he does to you, care about what he may do to your children! LEAVE - RUN - GO! There are better men out there willing to take care of you and be with you for the right reasons and never, ever dream of hurting you!

Do not wait for the time he comes home drunk, rapes you again and then beats you to death - or shares you with his friends then beats you for cheating on him! LEAVE - RUN - GO - NOW!!!

I have to assume you came here to hear some truth - this is the truth. Pack and go, before it is too late!

Mikayla

[Valntyn]

Yay everyone else! I wondered why the (*&$ no one had replied to Maple's post yet -- she posted in two different places and I'm the only one who replied to the other one. *chuckle* Here's what I wrote there, just so it's reitterated...

1. You say that he knew that if it happened again you were leaving him -- then you say he did it again AND YOU DIDN'T LEAVE. By doing this, he knows it's okay to continue treating you as he does. You didn't stick with what you said.

2. You have a daughter you need to think of. Who's to say that his 'extremely violent' temper isn't going to turn to her one of these days? Do you want that?

3. His being drunk is NO excuse for what he did to you. Your subject reads 'he almost raped' -- but you said he penetrated your anus. He penetrated; that's rape. It doesn't matter if you two are in a relationship. If you didn't want sex (and obviously by the fighting back I'd assume you didn't), then it's against your will, hense rape.

4. I'd tend to wonder if your other post relates to your situation at all. I'd FULLY understand not being interested in sex if I wasn't being treated to the best of my partner's ability. He should be loving you and pleasuring you and treating you like his Queen, both in regards to his partner AND as the mother of his child.

5. Get out, get out, get out is all I have to say.

Others may disagree with me; others may agree with me. Others may say 'help him through this;' I say you already gave him the chance to change (see #1). Others may say it more eloquently so as not to hurt your feelings; I just wanted to get out my thoughts and be blunt with them to get the point across. These situations make me SO angry and I just want to see it resolved happily for you.

I'm SO sorry you're going through this horrible situation, especially at so young an age. You should be having fun, enjoying that baby girl, and enjoying a happy life. There's no need of what he's doing to you -- and there's NO need for you to stay in that situation. I hope you make your life better for you and your daughter. Please let us know.

[promiscuouseuphoria]

There are two types of people who tend to ask for advice on forums. The first are the people who really don't want your advice - they know in their heart that something's wrong, but that's not what they want to hear, so they ask other people to validate what they want (there are a couple examples of this floating around here). It rarely happens. The second are people who know that their situation isn't working - no matter how simple or complex it may be - and genuinely want input. I really, really hope you're that second one.

That said - leave him. For your own sake, or if you cannot, for the sake of your child. Alcohol cannot "make" someone do something. It wasn't "just the alcohol". The alcohol just brought the latent tendencies to the surface. Unless he's seeking intensive therapy, he won't change. Even then, the change will come AFTER years of therapy, so don't come back and tell us all it's okay because he went to one or two meetings. Honey, he violated you. Nothing in the world can make that right. And you've already told him that he can do it again with your inaction. It's naive to think he won't. Take a long look at your situation. Ignore whatever kind words he may shower on you when things are going well and all is right with the world. Examine the fact that he raised his hands to a pregnant woman with no regard for the child she was carrying. His child. Is that really the kind of man you want as your daughter's father? And do you honestly think he'll keep from hititng her once she gets old enough to rebel and talk back?

My ex never raised a hand to me. He was mostly just lazy and worthless in a general sense. But the first time he slapped my son I damn near broke his arm. I'll admit, I didn't leave right away - I was young, and stupid, and convinced that it was my fault and I wasn't trying hard enough or not communicating properly or some other nonsense. It's a terrible thing when you tell someone that the reason you can't get a job is because you don't dare leave your children with their father. I kicked him out a week after I told someone that. You've told us that he raped and beat you. He should have been gone two years ago.

[DaniLovell]

honey, it wasn't almost. regardless of where, if there is penetration, it is rape. having been thru that a couple of times, believe me, i know. he refuses to take responsibility for the action. that says a lot about A:his character and B: his view of women.

that he did it while drunk only indicates that he keeps it under the surface most of the time. men who rape feel they have a "right" to whatever they want, as far as a woman is concerned. if they are your SO, ex bf, close friend, family member, or random psycho; it doesn't matter. he needs help, though i doubt seriously that he sees it.

on top of that, your self image and esteem has take a serious blow by this. it always does in a rape or assault situation. you said no and he did it anyway. no respect.

as the others have said, when does it stop with you and start on your daughter? what if "for the sake of your child" you stay and when she is 10 or 12 or whatever and he decides he has a right to her? will you honestly be able to look in her face and tell her he did the same to you and why you didn't leave? or how about the phone call you get when she's 18 or 20 and she's crying her SO has done the same?

please,....just leave. it truly is not worth it. get yourself into a home for battered women or something. and counseling. a lot of counseling. and a restraining order. you can only control what you do, he has to take care of himself. luck to you.

[BIGONE]

This man raped you if you want to call him a man, I would call him alot worse but not a man. He is a deadbeat loser who is capable of doing alot worse things than what he has already done to you and your child. If you stay with this BASTARD he will probably end up killing you and your child so by all means get the hell OUT!!! I dont care if he has a foot long dong and can fuck all night long GET GET GET THE HELL OUT NOW Dont give him another chance. But if you want to stay with him and give it another chance than I WOULD GIVE HIM SOME OF HIS OWN MEDICINE! I would get him all worked up and tie him down face down real real good on a bed! Invite a well HUNG I mean a WELL HUNG gay man over and tell him to have his way with him without any lube and make it rough really rough! Hope this will help you out.

[hrnychick]

RAPE IS RAPE NOT MATTER IF SOBER DRUNK WHATEVER YOU SAID NO AND STOP AND HE FORCED INTO YOU AND FORCED YOU TO DO THINGS YOU DIDNT WANT TO OR FEEL LIKE.

I found your post to be very upsetting I feel so bad bad for you......but inturn I am glad that you had enough courage to open up to this forum for advice and also hope you will follow it. He said his reason was cause he was drunk....so what will the next reason be....its a bad cycle.....and its up to YOU to stop it for your sake and the sake of your baby. I know its hard to leave and easy for others to say GO but you really do need to go.....its not a easy thing to do but it must be done......and counseling is needed for you as well as him......his anger is a major issue. NO mean NO and he had no right to do that to you no right at all boyfriend husband whatever no man has the right to do that to any woman.

If you dont want to press charges and go to police at least please please seek help.....call a rape hotline......cause dealing with the thoughts of that night arent easy I am sure. How any man could do such a thing is just awful especially when you are pregnant.

BE STRONG AND PUT A END TO IT.

LET US ALL KNOW HOW THINGS TURN OUT PLEASE.

RAPE IS RAPE NOT MATTER IF SOBER DRUNK WHATEVER YOU SAID NO AND STOP AND HE FORCED INTO YOU AND FORCED YOU TO DO THINGS YOU DIDNT WANT TO OR FEEL LIKE.

I found your post to be very upsetting I feel so bad for you......but inturn I am glad that you had enough courage to open up to this forum for advice and also hope you will follow it. He said his reason was cause he was drunk....so what will the next reason be???...Its a bad cycle.....and its up to YOU to stop it for your sake and the sake of your baby. I know its hard to leave and easy for others to say GO but you really do need to go.....its not a easy thing to do but it must be done......and counseling is needed for you as well as him......his anger is a major issue. NO means NO and he had no right to do that to you no right at all boyfriend, husband, whatever no man has the right to do that to any woman.

If you dont want to press charges and go to police at least please please seek help.....call a rape hotline......cause dealing with the thoughts of that night arent easy I am sure. How any man could do such a thing is just awful especially when you are pregnant.

BE STRONG AND PUT A END TO IT.

LET US ALL KNOW HOW THINGS TURN OUT PLEASE.

Hrnychick

[Tyger]

I too, read the post of not wanting sex after the baby was born first, so NOW that makes a lot more sense.

Honey, he didn't ALMOST rape you. He did rape you. You asked him to stop, and he still had sex with you. Anal intercourse is still rape as well. AND he did this while pregnant, which shows, IMO, he is not only a bastard, but he will get progressively more violent as time goes on.

And who's to say that, sober or drunk, he won't turn that onto your daughter? Because, sooner or later, the violence WILL stream down to her. BIG if here, but IF he never hits her, but she sees you getting hit, she will think it's OK for a man to hit her too, so there goes the cycle over and over some more. Do you want your daughter growing up thinking that that kind of treatment is OK?

You have to be strong for you and your daughter and get the hell outta there. I don't care WHO he thinks he is in and out of the bedroom. NO MAN is worth getting beat up and raped for. Never.

BTW, if he truly loved you, he'd never hit or rape you, EVER!

[me4now]

DITTO TOO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL NO YOU DONT FORGIVE HIM he was wrong regardless if he was drinking he should have taking his ass to sleep the same thing happen to my little sister and she sad nothing and her exboyfriend did the same thing to another girl (the only thing different from the two of you she didnt have child) MOVE ON you can do bad all by yourself and i know it we are not in this relationship with you but everyone here at tootimid feel your pain keep us posted

[fillme247]

If you have any doubt that what he did was WRONG and it was in fact rape, please visit www.pandys.org or www.rainn.org or please consider calling the RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.

People are there that care and will give you honest supportive feedback, support, and information.

Please keep yourself safe first and foremost and know that people do care and believe you.

[Jessicaheim]

All I can add here is that I totally agree w/ everyone here and I hope for the sake of your daughter you make arrangements to leave him. It's not going to be an easy thing, but it IS the right thing for you and your darling daughter.

Please don't let this go any further. He raped you, he's beat you...what more does he need to do to show you how he 'truly' feels about you? Words are just words, actions speak volumes. Good Luck to you, I truly hope you can find the strength you have inside and the courage to make the right decision and GET AWAY FROM THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A MAN!!

[Theresa]

How dare him do some shit like that to you and then you give him a second chance?

I was with my daughter's father for six years and he has never ever ever ever tryed to take what's mine from me and if he ever did try his ass would either be locked up for the rest of his life or dead right now because my younger brothers and sister and my crazy aunt would have murdered him once they found that out.

You're 20 years old you have your whole life ahead of you leave this man alone and take your daughter and get out while you still the courage and strength and the will power to do so you're too young to deal with that. I was raped once when I was 17 years old and for years I never told nobody about this except my best friend and she told me to stop beating myself up about it because for years I beat myself up about it for years I told myself that I never should've gotten into that car with him. I always told myself that I was young and dimb but if it wasn't for her telling me that then I would've went on thinking that it was my fault for getting raped.

Remember NO IS NO IS NO! He violated you and this will not be the last time if you do not leave this man. God forbid something should happen to you who's gonna take care of your daughter. Have you ever read the poem "He Bought Me Flowers Today"? The poem is about a woman being abused by her husband and every time he beat her he bought her flowers and just knew he was sorry bacause he bought her flowers until one day she got flowers at her funeral. You have to A: report him B:(opt.) give him a taste of his own medicine like someone said have a well hung mandingo warrior homasexual male tie his behind down to the bed and let him have his way with him ( cold blooded revenge) C: leave this man alone he obviously has a drinking problem and you're not the first person he's done that to either.

So please get out of there now leave with the clothes on your back if you have to just get out get out get out!!!!! Now while you can.

[VALERIE]

I'VE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, & THE ONLY WAY IT STOPS IS TO GET AWAY FROM HIM. SOMETIMES WE SAY TO OURSELVES THINGS HAPPEN,& THEN WE SAY WE WILL GET OVER IT, BUT WE ARE WRONG. THIS STAYS WITH YOU. & EVEN THOUGH THIS HAPPEND TO YOU, IT DOES'NT EVER JUST HAPPEN. ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN CAUSE, I HAVE SO MUCH EXPERIENCE WITH THIS SUBJECT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START. LET ME JUST SAY GET AWAY FROM HIM.

[ShadowStang]

First things first, I lost my .. no, didn't lose my virginity, but the first time I was ever penetrated was by a rapist. The second time anyone penetrated, it was rape. I said NO SEX before I hung out with him, and he drugged me (GHB is a bitch), then proceeded to give me alcohol until I was out, and had his way with me .. I don't know what happened, to this day I'm still clueless. It was six years ago. However, after being in that situation twice, age 12 and again age 13, then dated a guy for three years who was abusive, I've learned that most males are pigs. There are some wonderful men out there, and I happen to be lucky enough to have one. I love my husband, and we have a five month old son whom we both love dearly. There's one problem with our relationship. I do believe in astrology, and we're both virgos. We don't always click. Sometimes we fight, but it's always just words, and though words do a lot of damage, he never has, and nor would he ever hit me. As a matter of fact I must admit, I coldcocked him in the face one day while I was pregnant, and the next day, went sobbing to my counselor insisting I was insane... He just said to calm down, and if I ever felt that angry again, to walk away. VERY HELPFUL INFO!... Anyway, I've dealt with the worse in human behavior, and i'm thank God still alive, and I have always wanted to open a Rape/Abuse clinic, non profit of course, to help others. I finally, after all this time, have coped with it, through talking to my husband and crying my eyes out, bawling, and venting on him about how terrible men as a whole are, and he's still right by my side. Because of his support, and also spending a lot of time in therapy, I've overcome my ordeal, and I've risen above it. This ... creep deserves the worst possible treatment. Too bad it's illegal in the US to torture someone. What he did to you was absolutely wrong, and because of what happened to me, I DO NOT ALLOW ALCOHOL IN MY HOME. My husband DOES NOT drink. He used to party, and drink, and all that, but since I've been in his life, he found himself with a rude awakening. No more alcohol. Alcohol is vile in my opinion. I know there are drinkers out there, so I apologize, but everyone's got their own opinion. I don't think smoking weed is OK, I don't think underage drinking or smoking is OK, and I sure as hell don't think it's okay to have alcohol, firearms, or weapons in a home with a small child. I told my husband while we were just dating, the booze, or me. And he chose me. I don't ever want that to happen to me again, and nor do I want it to happen to any other woman. If it wasn't actually rape already, I'd tell him the same thing. If this was his first offense, I'd tell him NO MORE ALCOHOL. And then I'd see where it went. But right now, I agree with everyone else, go to the police, maybe you can still have him locked up, they unfortunately never started a rape kit with me, so my rapists are both still out there. If ANYONE for ANY reason lays their hands on you in an unwelcomed way, get them the hell out of your life. Twice while I was pregnant my Mother in Law tried to strangle me. You know how much contact we have now? Little, if any. She has since then grabbed my arm while I was holding my son in his carrier, and snatched, making me almost drop him. I have to say, if he'd gotten hurt, she'd be dead and I'd be in prison. You can do infinitely better than this lowlife scum, so if I were you, i'd get out. I dont know what you look like but because you're female, and all women are beautiful, you can use that and find yourself a man deserving of you. Just tell yourself he doesn't deserve you (because he doesn't), and leave him, take that beautiful self of yours somewhere else, and find yourself a handsome, wonderful, intelligent man, and let him be the One in your life. Or what have you. I have to say I did luck out, I love my hubby, he's gorgeous, great in bed, exactly what I've wanted, but since he's human, he ain't perfect, and we do have disagreements. So, I'd say we have a healthy relationship. If you have to go to counseling, go! Don't be ashamed! Admitting there's something wrong is half the battle. If you're afraid of sex, talk to someone. Don't let this a-hole ruin your life because he's an inconsiderate insensitive low life... I'm not going to continue, I'd likely get kicked off the boards... Hah.

Do yourself a favor and Get out before he does kill you!

[Crazygurl0203]

He drugged me (GHB is a bitch), then proceeded to give me alcohol until I was out, and had his way with me .. I don't know what happened, to this day I'm still clueless.

That happened to my Aunt...She was in the military and it happened to her. She however was pregnant with the guys baby and she kept her. She was not going to have an abortion because she was raped. She has got the most beautiful little girl to. Her name is Angel(Angelica, is the full name) she will be 2 years old this Jan.

She took me into the bathroom cause she didn't want too many people knowing what happened and all. She told me she was raped cause her drink was drugged.

I did however say that i was sorry that she was raped and that her little girl is beautiful...(she was living in FL up until Feb of this year, then she her daughter, brother, cat, dog all moved to Maine.

Now back to the original post.

LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS...I don't care what you call this but being penetrated and telling him not to cause you didn't want sex is CONSIDERED IN MY BOOK RAPE.

Press charges against his sorry ass.

[timidtwo]

Let us think carefully...

Forgive is one thing... and we need to forgive...

The problem is, that too often, we think that to forgive someone means that we put ourselves in position to be VIOLATED, again!!!!

WRONG!!!!

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE!

You are NOT expected to be a doormat for a sleazeball like that.

You are a woman, women have dignity.

You are a mother, a mother protects at all costs!

You are a person, a person lives life to the full!

You can't live life to the full if you don't maintain your dignity, and protect your child and yourself from even the "potential" of harm. If the proven potential is there, then it is NOT worth the risk of putting yourself (or especially your child) in another position of being harmed again!

I am a man, one of those "really nice" ones... but someone who does crap like that, drunk/sober/stoned or otherwise: that brings out an UGLY animal in me! They'd curse the day that they were born if they tried something like that to anyone in my circle of life!!!

[Turdlebugga@yahoo.com]

Listen, life as you know it will change. It will be scary and hard. You have no choice, you have to leave. I didn't read everyone's posts yet. I am sure they all say GET OUT!!! You do not want to be a movie of the week on Lifetime. Trust me. I am happy to say. I have lived 2 years away from my abuser. Me and my daughter (4) are soooooooo much happier. I took 8 suitcases and my baby, got on a plane, moved 1500 miles to escape. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I LOVED him too. We were married 8 years. You will get over that. Your child needs you. Your child can't learn that this is acceptable behavior. There are organizations that can help you get out. Look and see if there is a HAWC in your area. (Help for Abused Woman and Children) You can't save him. He will never ever change. It WILL get worse. You are fooling yourself if you think it will. You have to ask yourself...How do I want to live my live? Do I want to be happy? Do I want to be a good parent? OR Do I want to live like this anymore? If this non-rape rape, was isolated I would be surprised. I am sure that this is the tip of the iceberg. I doubt he believes you will ever leave. I am sure to him you give him idle threats.

He has some narcisitic ideas....he is awesome, you would never leave. He is abusive. Abuse is in many forms. If he keeps you from your family and friends, keeps control of your comings and goings, controls the money, things like these. If he is a drinker, drug user. There is nothing there for you. He isn't in love with you. It is harsh, I'm sorry. No person who loves another person acts this way. We try to care for the people we love. We never ever intentionally hurt them. If he hurts you when he is drinking. It IS INTENTIONAL. He made the decission to drink. He has zero (0) respect for you. You and your child deserve a good, happy, fearless life. If you want that. You will act on it. Make it happen. Start by getting a restraining order.

Find a support group. If you have time and the means to surf the internet, there is sooooooo much help out their for you. Please take advantage of it. really think about this. YOUR life depends on it.

I wish you all the best.

[blewits]

honey, you have gotten us all stirred up in here!

1. He did rape you.

2. He will hit you again.

3. You are better than that.

4. You deserve more out of your life.

5. And I PROMISE you, there are MILLIONS of great men out there who would not even THINK to do those things to a woman. Quite opposite actually. I know, I married one. In his opinion the lowsest of the low in order are #1, child molestors, #2, wife beaters and then murderers.

get out, it won't get better and leave before he starts to hit your child or just as bad, your child see's him hit you. do you want you child to think this type of behavior is acceptable?

good luck, call your friends, call your family, anyone you can that can help you get out.

[pappyld04]

Little lady it looks as though the only thing he has a grip on is you! He has just found another way to hurt you! Get away from this before he does something that you will regret.

[MsUnexprncd]

go seek help.. he is not a man.. alcohol or not..

no woman deserves to go thru that...

[Rein]

But I flipped out and I'm still afraid of him even though I know it was the alcohol.

Seriously, don't use Alcohol as a excuse. You may love him to death but does he feel that way to you? Well... what he did is a crime and like howard say you just got him free of 6 years jailed. If he really loved you he probaly wouldn't get himself drunk and shouldn't even think of alcohol, just don't stay with him anylonger get away from him and save yourself.

[triedntru]

Honey, I know you've seen alot of GREAT information!! Let me tell you something ( may have been said before in the other posts) You are WONDERFUL!! You have some VERY BAD things happen, but you are a WONDERFUL woman!! You have a child who idolizes you because you are mama! Most importantly you are a Child of God! He doesn't want this for you. Please get out of there and get couseling. You are loved!